Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Hi Mbeckoff
You are in a forum where you can talk to people who understand you.
Please start your own thread so that you can get the support you deserve. I can’t support you on someone else’s thread.
You would also be welcome in the F&F group s where we often find confusion becomes a whole lot less confusing.
Speak soon
VelvetHi Bella
I am sorry that I haven’t come back to you before but I have had a situation in my life that I had to deal with.
However I hope that you will return to this forum where I can support you through the sadness that has engulfed your life.
It is so difficult when a parent is not able to be the person that you want them to be but sometimes in our lives we come up against situations that we cannot change. At such times it is important that we look after ourselves.
I was hoping that you would pop into a group so that we could ‘talk’ in real time – maybe on Thursday evening between 20.00-21.00 hours UK time you could drop in – nothing said in a group appears on the forum, you will be very welcome.
I suspect your mum is struggling too, are you supporting each other?
Your dad didn’t ‘choose’ to be addicted to gambling, nobody would make that choice. He probably gambled some time ago for fun without realising that for him it would lead to addiction.
The best way you can help him is to look after you, be the best and the happiest person that you can be and live the life that you deserve.
Do you have siblings? Is there anybody in your family that you can talk to?
Please update, I will be looking for you.
I wouldn’t be writing to you Bella if I didn’t know that your dad couldn’t control his gambling. It takes courage to control it and often takes a great deal of pain, both for the person with the addiction and those who love them.
Speak soon
VelvetHello Chrisa and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
Hello Johnny and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
Thanks Geordie
Troll gone
Hi Worried
sorry I didn’t see you post until after the F&F group tonight but I will reply to you asap
Velvet
well done You.
I am going off to bed now but you have made a brilliant start on your recovery tonight. I will write soon
Goodnight
Sleep well
Velvet
Hello Bella
Thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy friends and family forum. This forum will provide you with warmth and understanding from your peers.
Feel free to use the friends and family group, you’ll find the times for these if you click on the “Group times” box on our Home page
Read about the friends and Family Online Groups
Now that you have introduced yourself you’ll find that many of the people you meet here have already read your initial introduction and they’ll welcome you in like an old friend 🙂
If you’re the friend or family member of someone who is either in, or has been through, the GMA residential programme please take extra care to make sure that nothing you say in groups, or on our forums, inadvertently identifies that person. Even if your loved one isn’t connected with GMA, please don’t identify them either directly or indirectly just in case they decide to use the site themselves.
You’ll find a lot of advice on this site, some of which you’ll follow, some you won’t…but that’s ok because only you fully understand your
situation and what’s best for you and the people you love. So, take the support you need and leave the advice you don’t because it all comes from a caring, nurturing place 🙂We look forward to hearing all about you!
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
Hi Go
I think it is very hard for those who have not lived with the addiction to gamble to be able to say the right words and often to even think the right things. I am sure that before this experience changed my life I would never have understood and probably made really crass comments.
I would never tell you to stay or to leave. What I ask is that you gain all the knowledge you can about the addiction to gamble so that you can make your own informed decision about ‘your’ life.
I don’t quite understand what you mean when you say that your boyfriend has never done you wrong – it seems to me you wouldn’t be here if he has always done things right.
When I first started working as a therapist I wrote to someone that my CG had finally left me because I believed he didn’t want to hurt me anymore. Fortunately my CG, who has taken control of his life and was reading my earlier posts, phoned me and put me straight – he told me that he left for himself and it was never about me.
The addiction to gamble is selfish and it will bring those who love them all the way down if they allow it to do so. Guilt is unnecessary for both of you. Your boyfriend has an addiction that neither he, nor you, wanted nor asked for so guilt is a waste of energy. He is the only one who can save himself however, nothing you can do or say can save him from himself if he is not ready to change his life.
The addiction to gamble doesn’t get cured and sadly it gets worse without treatment. Your boyfriend has rejected GA because he was bored and I hear denial in those words. I understand it making him feel weird, Gam-anon made me feel weird but every GA and Gam-anon has people in it who are trying to live without the addiction to gamble wrecking their lives and I find that anything but boring.
It takes courage and determination to face the addiction; it takes weeks and month to fully enjoy a gamble-free life but it only takes one day at a time to achieve that goal.
I think you maybe know the right thing for you to do but the hard bit is doing it. If it was me I would need to see ‘action’ that says that he is seeking support.We offer tremendous support here on our Helpline and in our CG groups. GA is fantastic although I understand that it is not for everybody.
Keep posting and you will eventually see the way you want to go.
VelvetHi Kia
20 years is long enough isn’t it? You have it within you to succeed – a wonderful gamble-free future beckons, for you to live your life as the person you want to be, and you now have the support of everybody on this site.
The hole will certainly need filling with all the things you have mentioned but also with other things such as hobbies, interests, friends and family, things that have been overlooked. What hobbies and interests did you have before you went to Canada? Talk to friends and family about non-gambling things there is a lot of good things in life to talk about.
I wouldn’t be here Kia if I didn’t know that the addiction to gamble can be controlled and fantastic lives lived as a result.
Your family and friends will be unsure for quite some time so please allow them some leeway if they don’t believe in you straight away. It is actions that those who love CGs want to see, words are often too easy.
Keep posting, use our Helpline and our CG groups. Maybe you could find a local GA group to support you physically as well as using us here. Take all the support you can.
I wish you well. I am a facilitator for Friends and Family but I will watch your progress and be willing you on every step of the way.
Take just one day at a time, nobody can do more.
VelvetHello Kia and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
Hello GoIU
Thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy friends and family forum. This forum will provide you with warmth and understanding from your peers.
Feel free to use the friends and family group, you’ll find the times for these if you click on the “Group times” box on our Home page
Read about the friends and Family Online Groups
Now that you have introduced yourself you’ll find that many of the people you meet here have already read your initial introduction and they’ll welcome you in like an old friend 🙂
If you’re the friend or family member of someone who is either in, or has been through, the GMA residential programme please take extra care to make sure that nothing you say in groups, or on our forums, inadvertently identifies that person. Even if your loved one isn’t connected with GMA, please don’t identify them either directly or indirectly just in case they decide to use the site themselves.
You’ll find a lot of advice on this site, some of which you’ll follow, some you won’t…but that’s ok because only you fully understand your
situation and what’s best for you and the people you love. So, take the support you need and leave the advice you don’t because it all comes from a caring, nurturing place 🙂We look forward to hearing all about you!
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
Hi Micky
I am sorry you feel you have lacked support – I know many people read without posting and I also know many people find it difficult knowing what to say to someone who has lost a loved one.
I am so sorry to hear about your loss, my only brother died suddenly and unexpectedly in February and many people felt unable to speak to me about him whereas I wanted to talk about him. I would love to hear about your sister if you want to talk.
I don’t know about you but there are so many things I would like to have talked over with my brother that we never got round to – I think with a sibling we maybe feel that there will always be time. I have a photo of my brother propped up beside my computer and he is laughing, almost as if to say I am daft for talking to his picture. We all have to deal with loss at sometime but there will never be a right time.
I know it is tough for you and that gambling has been your escape in the past but I have learned in the last 10 months that remembering the good times with my brother and living a better life for having known him is a good way to cope.
Stay gamble-free Micky and please keep posting
Velvet
