Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Weekends were always the most dangerous times for me. Weaker at the weekend! I found finding things that took up whole days worked for me. Day workshops on anything non gambling. I’ve tried tai chi, dowsing, day walks and dancing. Not very good at any of them but they took my mind off gambling. Keep strong and have a good weekend.
You got through the meeting and that is a victory. How did your GA meeting go? I start travelling tomorrow, only within the UK to start but odd to be homeless! Have a great weekend.
Well done for getting through 3 days gambling free. It sounds as if it has been a close call at times though. I found I had to avoid anything to do with betting, including ending friendships based on gambling. The addiction is really tricky to deal with and I needed good support from people who had been there. Good that you are finding Gamstop effective, but if you persist you will find ways around it – so if you get an urge call someone. Consider a local group GA or similar. I wish you well.
I played slots for many years and when I admitted I had a problem it probably took me 10 years of effort to finally feel free of the addiction and even now I know I could slip back…
There are better things to have fun with. For me it is walking, for some gaming without any stake involved, for others music. Making sure I limit the amount of money I carry and avoid any gambling atmosphere is the best I can do – as well as letting people close to me know of my problem and getting good support. Hope some of this will work for you too. I wish you well.
Feelings are fine and it is good to express them in a way that is safe for you and others. What you may want to try is a good childlike tantrum.
When you are on your own in the house get on the bed and pound your cushions and let out all the noise / swearing you have been holding back. Keep going until there is nothing left. The important bit is to have some quiet time to let your thoughts take over. You may want to phone someone or do something to bring you back to yourself. If you can make time to do this I think it would be helpful. If you get any insights that you feel you can share, please do.
Have you tried one to one counseling here?
Take care.
I guess I’ve mentioned my low self esteem. I don’t have the time atm to volunteer counsel – what with the move and everything. I think I will need to do some specific training, then I hope to take it up. I will try and censor negative comments about myself. Thanks for the reminder and for the endorsement. Appreciated!
First of all congrats on your 2 weeks. Well done. I know it’s been hard at times.
Sorry you are finding it hard to get counselling. It is never easy given that there is more demand than counsellors, but I feel you would gain a lot from it.
I guess if you keep up with GA and look for support on here that’s all you can do atm. Was the social care thing out because you knew people there? Did the counselor not take that into account or is it that you always have to go there first? Anyway looking forward to the next weeks gf.
You wrote, “There is also some kind of suicide helpline but i dont want to waste their time.”
One of the hardest things for me to accept is that I deserve to do things to aid my recovery. I found that I love walking and yet I felt guilty if I took time out to do it, (despite spending hours in front of slots.) When I decided to walk a long-distance trail I felt guitly when I had to drive out to places, (despite driving into cities for gambling in the past.)
Why do you think it has taken me so long to go travelling? I really have had to fight with myself that it is ok to do that.So – get rid of the thought that you are wasting their time. In fact deliberately call them – just to talk about Netflix or whats on TV. I’m off for birthday drinks now – so won’t be around until tomorrow eve. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.
Personally – I try to avoid taking medication as much as possible – especially stuff that makes me numb to my feelings. Having said that – if I was taking something – I would come off under medical advice and do so slowly so not to get unwanted withdrawal symptoms.
Recovering from an addiction is also difficult for partners / families. First there is the shock of finding out – then there is the realisation of the damage it has caused, debts etc. Then there is the realisation of having been lied to in the past. I think sometimes the partner feels left out as all the attention is on the gambler and there is almost this “but what about me?” going on in their mind.
I don’t know what ids are either – but maybe it is a personal word for “I am all over the place – so I’m sorry I shouted but I really am only just holding it together.” At least you had an apology – hold onto that. Try talking – opening up when you both feel safe enough to do it and involve him as much as you can. I wish you well …
Getting involved in a book also worked for me. Though I found it had to be something upbeat and easy to read.
I found when the thoughts got really bad that the best thing to do was to talk to someone. Call someone – they don’t need to know about the gambling urges – just reach out. If you can’t reach someone you know – does your country have a service like the Samaritans? They are not just there for thoughts of suicide but to be a listening ear to those of us in distress.
I seem to remember some years back Sweden had a tourist marketing tool called ring a random Swede – where if you call up a number you were put through to someone who would tell you how wonderful Sweden was. Does that still exist – or have I remembered wrong? Take care of yourself.
I’m probably a bit of a rarity as a recovering gambler who is also a qualified counsellor. I decided when I first started to practice counselling that I would not work specifically with gamblers because I was worried about my own recovery. I worked with heroin users and their families for a while – but I didn’t get caught up in their stories as I have never used drugs. More recently I have been struggling with low self-esteem and didn’t feel I could continue counselling so have had a book selling business which I gave away on Wednesday. So I guess I am retired – and now feel confident enough in my own recovery to work with others on here (if they will have me.)
Just how long I have been gamble free is a tricky one. My issue was slots and I haven’t had a problem with them for decades – but I have had one or two slips myself (one was to see if I could gamble “normally” now.) and I think the last one was about 7 or 8 years ago. But there are other things which could be called gambling such as raffles, the occasional lottery and appearing on a TV game show. Gambling in some peoples eyes maybe. I have decided since coming onto here to be completely gamble free from now on though. Hope this answers the question. I will put on a fuller post when I have more time after the house sale.
For getting through the meeting. When I think back – I first talked about my gambling addiction on a one-to-one basis and came to GA after some counselling. Perhaps that made the group thing easier. Yes it is Friday – I hope you have a great gamble free weekend!
I think debts are the reality side of our compulsive gambling. I know when I first stopped the debts seem to keep increasing, what with interest payments etc.
I know if I had my time again I would get really good advice about my financial situation. I just plodded on and paid out to keep my head above water, when I think I could have worked on reducing my interest payments and paying back quicker. Ah well, they will all get paid next week when I sell my house.
I hope things are not too stressful for you – you seem to have a lot going on. Take good care of yourself – stay strong.
Just wanted to thank you for your comment on (what I supppose is now) my thread! I am up to my eyeballs in packing and getting the house empty so won’t say more now – but will try and just pop on here occasionally until the house sells on Wednesday when hopefully I can take more part in things. I won’t be in it after Monday so posting might be more of a problem. I hope you are well and thanks again for your support. Appreciated.