[Kerry1]

This is my first post in three days. Things have been a little rough, but I haven’t resorted to gambling. I feel like I’m being treated unfairly at work, and I’m currently dealing with that. I also had a gambling dream a couple days ago. I’m finding myself getting angry and/or upset easier. I just need to stay focused and remember what I do and don’t have control of. My thoughts, actions and reactions are pretty much all I have control over. Living simply is paramount to my success.

[Kerry1]

Yesterday I talked to my Mom and explained to her my lifestyle change and the reasons for it. Again I was met with tremendous support and love. She is a recovering alcoholic with 5 or 6 years clean time, so she gets it. She offered some suggestions for healthy alternatives to gambling. Thanks for responding sad68. It does get old and somewhat depressing to watch the same people doing the same behavior, and expecting different results. But it is a constant reminder of how I don’t want to be anymore. It’s a great day to be free!

[Kerry1]

I like the freedom that comes with living a gambling free lifestyle. I don’t feel enslaved. I’m watching a tv series on streaming and the title of an episode I watched earlier was called “You can’t lose if you don’t play”. I instantly thought of how that applied to gambling. We often hear the saying “you can’t win if you don’t play”, but I like the new version of the saying much better. It totally applies to my new way of living. I choose to say no to self-destruction.

[Kerry1]

Today was my first day of work since I decided to stop gambling. For most this wouldn’t be a big deal, but since I’m a bartender at a casino, it was for me. I have no desire to talk about gambling with my customers, but I have to pretend to care for business reasons. I’m privy on much of the happenings at the casino for various reasons. And after hearing how much money that our smaller casino brought in for an entire “slow” month, I’m disgusted. Today I pray that the desire to gamble stays away, or is fleeting at worst.

[Kerry1]

Today I went to my 1st G.A. Meeting. It was an open meeting, so my wife was able to go with me. Everyone was very warm and welcoming. There was a couple people there who were just supporting a loved one. We felt very comfortable. They asked us both to share, and we did. We were both very glad we went. We plan on going together, at least for a while. Today I am grateful for the fellowship and for no compulsion to gamble. I know it won’t always be this easy, but I’m still enjoying it while I can. Kerry

[Kerry1]

Today was a mix of emotions, but I liked it. When I woke up I felt a little guilty still. And weary. But once I got around and cleaned up, the day got better. I got to spend the evening with my wife, which is a treat in itself. We usually work different schedules, but I have a couple days off. She is wonderful. So supportive. I have a meeting to go to tomorrow. She wants to go, but I’m not sure if that’s ok with the people running it. Either way is ok, as long as I go.

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