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Truth is you chose the chance to win over lifes jackpot, learn from it dont dwell on it, it will eat you up. next time take a look from outside and realise how wonderful life is
had many night drunk and coked up, waking up to a comedown and lost a shit load. Felt suicidal but would do it again, had an epiphany, im betting to win BIG losing hundreds weekly wouldnt matter if it works out, if it doesnt then welli tried and took the risk, sensible… no but i wont live again (and remember at least for the hindus)
the book obviously wasnt good enough just be honest with yourself in it to win it or get out the ring
stop beating yourself up, your alive. you can lose for years but if you do get that big win youll soon forget, thats the whole point isnt it? obviously when we lose we feel bad thats why its considered an addiction, up an downs. ride it out brush it off and either take the loss and dont gamble again or lay it down, lose most of the time and hope to hit it big, you might spend your whole life trying and failing but when it becomes physically a part of trying to win your life back look for love and remember your innocence and choose to live.