[markymark83]

Hi. I haven’t placed a bet in 6 days. The emotional rollercoaster I’m on is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. I have been in recovery from crack-cocaine and opiates for 7 years. Towards the end of my drug use, I got into sports wagering. It didn’t get problematic until recently. My first few years in recovery from drugs I would wager here and there, and I could walk away from it. However, I’ve really done a number on my pleasure center I think. I’ve basically been betting daily since October, which was shortly after my ex-gitlfriend left me (for different reasons). I think I used it as a coping mechanism maybe, but even when we were still together, I was planning on betting when NFL and College Football started. I got off to a bad start and kind of spun my wheels for a while. The Super Bowl is where I started winning. Essentially, from early February through Mid-March, I turned $100 into $5,000. The first weekend of the NCAA tournament, I lost it all. I swore it off that Sunday, the 21st. My birthday was March 26th. My ex reached out to me that day to wish me happy b-day. I replied back to her, inquiring about the possibility of meeting up, (not to get back together,just for closure). She said it wasn’t a good idea as she then informed she had met someone else and was now dating (and I believe living with) him. My soul was crushed. I had received my 3rd stimulus check earlier that week. So, I bet it on Ncaa basketball and lost it all. I have been in a depression ever since. My thoughts on Sunday included suicide. But, that has gone away. Now I’m just consumed with regret of gambling and not cashing out, along with obsessive thoughts about my ex. I know my brain is depleted of dopamine and is in panic mode. Any body have insight on how late ng the depression, emotional rollercoaster, mood swings, will last. Thank you so much. Love and Light.

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