[leonard83]

Hello everybody,
I’m new here at this forum and would like to introduce myself first. My name is Leonard and I am 27 years old. Excuse me for my poor English. I am from Holland and i’ll hope nobody bothers about the grammar mistakes that I will gonna make.
It all started at the age of 16 when I put the first coins in a slotmachine in a local bar. I lost some money, but it was not much. Together with some friends we repeated this for a few weeks. Sometimes we won a littlebit, but most of the times the money was gone. After a while I started to go to this bar during daytime and started to put more money in the slotmachines. I thought I found a certain system in the slotmachine and however it didn’t work I was completely convinced about my way of playing.
Fast forward a few months when I began to play in a slotcasino in my hometown. I just finished school and had to wait till I reached the age of 19 when I could start at the police academy in Amsterdam, Holland. I worked in a wharehouse and all the money I earned went straight to the slotmachines. When I reached the age of 18 I filled in an application form for my first creditcard. I reached my limit in only a few days and was afraid to tell my father that I had a lot of debts already when he thought I saved some money to move to Amsterdam. On the day that I could collect my keys for my new apartment I had to tell him about my debts. He was angry, but paid for everything and so I was in amsterdam, the city of temptations. My first night there was an evening in the big casino, Holland Casino.
Beside slotmachines I started to play at table games as well. Blackjack, roulette, Carribean stud..everything. I used my creditcard again and even applied for more. Within 3 months I had already so much debts that I couldn’t pay for anything else anymore. Police academy had just started, but I couldn’t focus on anything else than gambling. Everything went wrong in this period of my life. No money, only debts and very depressed. I decided to ‘escape’ to America to build a new life. This was the worst plan that a person could make, but I wasn’t able to think normally this time. As soon as I received my payment I booked a ticket to New York and flew away. Nobody knew where I was and even the police was looking for me for a few days.
When I contacted my family they were so angry at me, but they transferred money to my account so I could sleep for a few more days in NY before I could catch my flight home. The shame was too big and I decided to go to LA to finish my life. I got scared in the bus to Los Angeles and phoned my mother. She flew immidiately to LA to fetch me. I was happy to go home, but once there everything started over again.
I began playing poker and was pretty good at it. I made lots of money in the casino and online. The only thing I didn’t do with that money was paying of my debts. Beside playing poker I had several jobs that I didn’t like. I played for a few years and everythibg went well….. well, not everything. I lost all my money on a blackjack table and was completely broke again. I moved back to my father in my hometown who paid of all my debts (again). After a few weeks I started dating a very beautiful girl and started lo live at her place. It went well for a few weeks until I stole money from some close friends to gamble. They found out and never wanted to see me again. My girlfriend was the only one I had left and I didn’t want to loose her. I started to manipulate her so badly and let her made a lot of debts for me as well. I gambled everything away and her parents had to take her away from me before she would be completely lost.
I was furious and went completely crazy. Nobody wanted me anymore and I was laying in bed whole days at my fathers house. After a few months I found a new job at a job agency and met a new girl. Because I wanted to leave my fathers place I moved in with her and quited my job after 3 months. I made her deposit some money on my pokeraccount and started to win again. I won so much money online and went several times to Vegas to play the worls series and other big tournaments. I felt like I was king of the world but again this was only for a short time. For the, I don’t even know how much time I lost everything again and made my grilfriend to take high interest loans so I could start all over again.
I went crazy in this period. I still had to serve some time in proson because of financial fraud which I commited and people who lent me money wanted it back. I didn’t had it and escaped to Thailand with a couple of hundred Euro’s. I ended up in a hospital in Thailand and the embassy send me back to Holland where I had to serve my jailtime. When I got out I had nothing left. No family, friends, job, house or money. The Salvation army was my last option and although it was horrible there I had a place to sleep. From there I found a private clinic who was specialized in addiction treatment. Luckily for me my insurance company paid for everything and so I went to South Africa for two months. I hated the 12-step treatment, but back in Holland I realized that I have to use this program to survive.
At this moment I am gambling free for 15 months, have my own house again and I’m gonna start a study to become an addiction counsellor. I have a long journey ahead but it feels so good if your life is not dominated by the obsession of gambling. I broke out of my cage and I hope everyone with the same problems will experience this feeling someday. Maybe you have to reach your rock bottom before you realize you have a problem, but there’s always a way out! Believe me. Everyone can do it if you go for it!!!!!
Thanks for reading this short version of my life.
Leonard
 
 I realize that I’m just one bet away from a relapse….

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