[ladyindistress]

Last week, after 50 gamble-free days, I gave in to the urge (again).  I didn’t even enjoy it; in fact, I felt guilty being there.  There’s been a lot of family drama going on, and I let all the negativity get me down.  There are family problems to address, and my gambling is making things worse by losing focus on what’s important.  After gambling I go through the remorse, anger and depressed feelings. 
Well, yesterday I decided I MUST get off this roller coaster.  I self-banned at all Pennsylvania casinos, including Harrah’s in Chester PA.  Harrah’s bans you from ALL their casinos that they own worldwide.  So I am banned in Las Vegas (not that I’ve been there), Atlantic City (including Ballys, Caesars, Showboat, Harrahs).  Ballys was my favorite place.
I have effectively lost my Diamond status (yeah, what a status of being in debt) along with all my points and "reward" credits.  I went through a questionnaire, they took my picture, and then I was escorted out of the casino by security.
On my way out, I told the security guard how relieved I felt.  He said that many people have told him the same thing when they self-banned.
Here’s to a new beginning.  Now I won’t have to argue with myself whether or not to go to the casino.  I will still attend counseling so that I can address the issues that led me to gamble.
My husband said this was the best birthday present I could have given him….

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