[saman]

Hi my name is "saman "as you know me in here. Around 17 years ago i came to london to live and make a new life different from where I was born and grownup. I was in college and working at the time in west london. I was not ingaged in any kind of gambeling and never seen inside a casino. while studying an access course to get to uni my home office application refusal of my refugee statue came followed bye an interview and deportation possibility to my country. T o make the story short, it took them 7 years after that to let me legally stay in this country. I put on drugs for being depress and pills that they shouldnt have. I was another person from then. couldnt leave my room, stay alone and think and think not being able to make any desisions on my own. one night a frend took me to casino and there it was on £43 a week state money started to gambel. since then more or less been gambeling. The only game i played was rullet. in my life there has been time that i sold my jaket or watch to eat as my money was gone on gambeling. you might be familiar with this side of gambeling. I wasnt allow to study or work while my application was prossesd and it took 7 years of no job no study and depression.
When i was eccepted to stay in this country i wasnt me any more. i didnt know myself looking at the mirror. once as i used the money which was not belong to me and lost it, came back home and took about 30 prozak and  20 sleeping pills that i had and said that is it. i do not want to be who i am. unfurtunate ly or some may think fortunately flat mate saved me by calling hospital, and 3 days later came out of comma.
I Was now in mental hospital. stayed there 45 days followed bye 1 year under care worker and drs checking on me. but i couldnt tell them about gambeling, may be because didnt know how bad my addiction is.
I self excluded my self from casinos around me and it did really helped. the longest I have been free of gambeling has been 1 year record. i hope this time i can stay away for ever, with the help available around this site.
To tell you the tryth i am so scared of even going out and face people that i dont know. alot to work on myself and buil up slowly. the way i eat, cleaning ….gambeling and depression has made my life a place i dont want to be any more.
Thank you all for being here.
Bit the habit one day at a time.Still trying to give up gambeling

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