[missyb30]

Good morning all,
First time poster here, please be gentle lol.
Let me start by introducing myself.
I am missy, I am 29, I have two children a husband and another baby on the way.
Around 2005/6 the disease caught me. Allthough at this stage it actually was just innocent fun for me, that I could take or leave. Never more than £20 odd a time and never more than once a week.
Little did I realise that was the most stupid entertainment option I could of took..as 6 years down the line, I am skint, I am tired, I am stressed and I want it over with (not my life, i LOVE my children far too much for that, I mean the gambling) so after a lot of reading on these pages I have come to the conclusion you are all lovely and non-judgemental and I feel I can turn here for help to stop.
Its online slots for me, and I am aware of my trigger. Boredom. I know I need a filter on the pc but I can’t afford it till payday. That is on my to do list.
I am a secret gambler too, nobody knows and this is the first time I have admitted it anywhere remotely publicly.
I can’t go to GA as I am living abroad and they is a language barrier.
I spend sooooo much time on my own and this is how I have ended up in the situation I am in today, I get lonely and I miss home, I miss family and friends. I just sit here and throw all my husbands hard earned money into the toilet. It needs to stop, I need distractions and I need to figure out just what I can do to overide the ‘urge’ as I can go 4/5 days without touching the damn things then the urge takes over!! Thing is I always feel really proud of my ‘clean’ days and really disgusted n myself for the other ones.
I know this post is a bit jumbled and rambled but I felt I just needed to say what I needed to say whilst I had the nerve to do it…
Hope to get to know people in the future and I will b e back on later today..
Thanks if you got this far x x
 
 "Do something major today…restart your life recognizing yesterday as past, tomorrow the future. Live your now the greatest you can"

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