[vitalis]

hi. i`ve been gambling for last 5 years. i played slot mashines, mainly in casinos. how i started? still remember my first time. i went to casino with friends to try to win some money to pay my rent. i had beginers luck! and yes i paid the rent. i was hooked!!! 
since that day i lost not just money, i lost everything including my family, friends, myself, i lost my life complitely!
don`t wanna go in details, what my life looked like this time. its not much different from any of yours.  its important for me than i still remember how it was.
9 june 2012 finished gambling adiction recovery programm. it was 14 weeks long. OMG! when i started this programm i didn`t see myself be free from gambling. it was so bad, then after 2 weeks i thougth what i`m doing here, its not will help me to resolve my gambling problem! i was wrong!!! that time i was in really bad state of mind. i could`n imagine how i can get out of this mess. i have to say thank you to my ex girlfriend! one day when she called me, i explained how i feel. and she told me be yourself don`t hide your feelings, say how you are really feel, don`t make it up.  you know what? from that day i told myself : be yourself and start live your life!!! it wasn`t easy, but the more honest i was with myself the more confident i became!   this programm helped me  change my life!
now i`m back to my city. it`s one months since i`m back. i`ve been gambling twice. first time was the same day when i came back from reehab.  and second 4 days later when i went to exclude myself from casino. i came with my friend, because i knew i`m not able to do myself. even than i precuud him to lend me! and he did. i was using a power of gamblers mind! it was just 3 pounds. and its not excuse for that. since that day i didn`t play slot mashines!   
how i feel now? didn`t realise then facing real life will be so painfull and hard at the start. but i`m capable to do that. and mainly because i wanna live rather than suffer my life. i wanna enjoy my life and be happy!  

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