[jj33]

I really don’t have much to say cause im feeling really down. Yet i feel Hopeful.  I know that sounds strange.  I have been on a rollercoaster for over 20years.  Ive stoped. Ive Started. Ive stoped. Ive Started.  This time it is like a light bulb went off in my head.  "if you never start,you never have to stop" I know its only been a week but like i say im hopefull.  The reason i am down is my other half is a drug addict who has relapsed several times in the last few months.  I understand how hard it is to battle addiction.  That is what scares me.  I want more than anything to believe in him but i don’t.  I made him leave and i want more than anything to be with him but i can’t enabel him.  The only good thing that has come out of this is that i realise what its like to be on the other side of someone you love who has an addiction.  It sucks!  My addiction has never been much of a problem for him since i never took anything from him, but i know it has effected others.  On the other hand i lost myself along time ago so maybe i took the real me from him.  Either way i pray and i pray and i pray for him.  I hope he finds his way home from his addiction and i hope i stay on my road to recovery.

[Author]

Posts