[lumpud]

My name is Job and I’m 23 years old and I have gambling problems, a major one. I come from a poor family and have always wanted to be rich.
My family is strongly against gambling so all my gambling addiction has been a secret to them, with only my best friends and my girlfriend know.
I have been betting for almost 5 years now and at first I was pretty lucky and cocky which led me to love gambling so much. I would start from my
pocket money which were just a couple hundreds and start building them to almost ten thousands. Things start to turn bitter after I graduated, I 
built a startup with friends which I later fraud money to help pay my gambling debt. Debt stacked one after another and I soon realised now I have
ten thousand dollars as debt. (I borrowed money from my best friend, my girlfriend and my mom.) The problem is I never can admit I lost, I would
always bet as soon as I get my hands on money thinking that I would be able to build my way back up like I used to do. The problems get worse when 
my girlfriend needs to use the money she lent me. She has always been supportive for me and watching her suffer from my mistakes. I feel so hopeless
and don’t want to live, I barely go out of the room and have no will to do anything. Suicidal thoughts has been haunting me for the past month and I 
feel that soon it will get the better of me.

I don’t know what to achieve from writing this thread except it helps make me feel better as I can’t express my feelings with the people around me.
I do hope that this thread serves as a warning for those who never gamble before and wants to try, DON’T. Even if it’s just a few dollars, cause that’s how all this misery started for me.

[lumpud]

Sorry for the passage being hard to read as it’s my first time and I tried to arrange the paragraph.

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