30 years of gambling, almost all online horse racing has got me confused and conflicted. It is the strangest addiction and I have said to myself over and over, nobody can be as unlucky as I have been in the history of planet earth. Over 30 years I have lost close to $700,000. About $20,000 a year wasted and thousand of hours of my life gone! I keep playing because I cannot believe that I can keep losing. Even the law of large numbers isn’t averaging my win-loss ratio. My entire life betting has been like this: pick 9 numbers out of 10, and it will be the one number not picked that wins. IT IS CRAZY! I have played over 20,000 races online and have nothing to show for it but losses. I have never won anything north of $3K in a race in 30 years. And get this, I lose 99% of close calls! It is unexplainable how someone can be on the wrong end of every single close call at the wire. NO WAY can this be a human thing. It is INTERVENTION by something more powerful than us human robots. I’m not sure what is worse, losing almost a million dollars or having the worst luck for over 30 years. I convince myself that it has to change, but it hasn’t. I am believing that in this world there are groups that every single person belongs to and that the lucky ones are in similar groups and the unlucky ones in a like group, but unlucky. So am I addicted because of my belief that I cannot continue to be this unlucky and keep gambling to prove it wrong?