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Hallo Beth, ik vraag me af of, hoewel hij $500 heeft gegokt, schijnbaar zonder een oogwenk, of hij toen die $500 verloor, in welk geval zijn geloof in zijn vermogen om zichzelf te beheersen hopelijk nog een deuk zal hebben gekregen. Uw man heeft 3 jaar geleden geaccepteerd dat hij een alcoholverslaving heeft maar nu blijkt dat hij slaapwandelde in een andere verslaving. Dit is geen onbekende situatie op deze site en zal geen onbekende situatie zijn voor anderen in de AA-groep van uw man, misschien kunt u hem vragen uw zorgen met zijn medeleden te bespreken – zelfs als hij niet aan zichzelf of aan hen wil toegeven, dat hij zich zorgen maakt. Het feit dat hij intellectueel aanvaardt dat zijn gokken verslavend is, geeft hoop. Waarschijnlijk heeft hij enige tijd gevochten tegen het accepteren van zijn alcoholisme voordat hij er klaar voor was om het onder ogen te zien en de nodige stappen te ondernemen om het onder controle te krijgen. Als het gemakkelijk was voor een persoon om een verslaving te accepteren en ermee om te gaan, Beth, zou ik het hier niet doen. Ik vermoed dat je man meer begrijpt dan je denkt maar het begrijpen en er iets aan doen vergt kracht en misschien mist je man die kracht 'op dit moment'. Ik kan je eenzaamheid voelen en ik begrijp het echt. Ik hoop dat je blijft posten en hopelijk vind je tussen de regels door de kracht om je gezin overeind te houden, niet alleen om overeind te blijven maar naar rustiger water te zeilen. Ik ben opgelucht dat je vrienden en familie hebt die je steunen – zijn ze zich bewust van je bezorgdheid? Angst voor het onbekende is verlammend, blijf alsjeblieft voor jezelf zorgen en dingen doen en mensen zien die je plezieren. Blijf alsjeblieft Velvet posten
Salut Beth, je me demande si, bien qu'il ait joué 500 $, apparemment sans sourciller, s'il a ensuite perdu ces 500 $, auquel cas sa croyance en sa capacité à se contrôler aura, espérons-le, pris un autre coup. Votre mari a admis qu'il avait une dépendance à l'alcool il y a 3 ans, mais il semble maintenant que le sommeil est entré dans une autre dépendance. Ce n'est pas une situation inconnue sur ce site et ce ne sera pas une situation inconnue pour les autres membres du groupe des AA de votre mari, peut-être pourriez-vous lui demander de discuter de vos préoccupations avec ses collègues – même s'il ne l'admettra pas à lui-même, ou à eux, qu'il est concerné. Le fait qu'il accepte intellectuellement que son jeu soit addictif fait naître de l'espoir. Il a probablement lutté contre l'acceptation de son alcoolisme pendant un certain temps avant d'être prêt à y faire face et à prendre les mesures nécessaires pour le contrôler. S'il était facile pour une personne d'accepter une dépendance et d'y faire face Beth, je ne le ferais pas ici. Je soupçonne que votre mari comprend plus que vous ne le pensez, mais comprendre et faire quelque chose à ce sujet demande de la force et peut-être que votre mari manque de cette force «pour le moment». Je peux sentir ta solitude et je comprends vraiment. J'espère que vous continuerez à poster et j'espère qu'entre les lignes, vous trouverez la force de garder votre famille, non seulement à flot, mais en naviguant vers des eaux plus calmes. Je suis soulagé que vous ayez des amis et de la famille qui vous soutiennent – sont-ils conscients de votre inquiétude ? La peur de l'inconnu est paralysante, s'il vous plaît continuez à prendre soin de vous, à faire des choses et à voir des gens qui vous plaisent. S'il vous plaît continuer à poster Velvet
Oi, Beth, estou imaginando se, embora ele tenha apostado $ 500, aparentemente sem pestanejar, se ele então perdeu aqueles $ 500, caso em que sua crença em sua capacidade de se controlar provavelmente terá sofrido outro golpe. Seu marido aceitou que tem um vício em álcool há 3 anos, mas agora parece que o sono entrou em outro vício. Esta não é uma situação desconhecida neste site e não será uma situação desconhecida para outras pessoas do grupo de AA de seu marido, talvez você possa pedir a ele para discutir suas preocupações com seus companheiros – mesmo que ele não admita para si mesmo ou para eles, que ele está preocupado. O fato de ele aceitar intelectualmente que o jogo vicia dá margem a esperanças. Ele provavelmente lutou contra a aceitação de seu alcoolismo por algum tempo antes de estar pronto para enfrentá-lo e tomar as medidas necessárias para controlá-lo. Se fosse fácil para uma pessoa aceitar um vício e lidar com ele, Beth, eu não estaria aqui. Suspeito que seu marido entenda mais do que você pensa, mas para entender e fazer algo a respeito é preciso ter força e talvez seu marido não tenha essa força "no momento". Posso sentir sua solidão e realmente entendo. Espero que você continue postando e, com sorte, nas entrelinhas, encontre forças para manter sua família, não apenas flutuando, mas navegando em direção a águas mais calmas. Estou aliviado por você ter amigos e familiares que o apoiam – eles estão cientes de sua preocupação? O medo do desconhecido é paralisante, por favor, continue cuidando de si mesmo e fazendo coisas e vendo pessoas que lhe agradam. Continue postando Velvet
Ciao Beth, mi chiedo se, sebbene abbia scommesso $ 500, apparentemente senza battere ciglio, se ha poi perso quei $ 500, nel qual caso la sua fiducia nella sua capacità di controllarsi si spera abbia preso un altro colpo. Tuo marito ha accettato di avere una dipendenza dall'alcol 3 anni fa, ma ora sembra che il sonno sia entrato in un'altra dipendenza. Questa non è una situazione sconosciuta su questo sito e non sarà una situazione sconosciuta per gli altri nel gruppo AA di tuo marito, forse potresti chiedergli di discutere le tue preoccupazioni con i suoi colleghi – anche se non ammetterà con se stesso, o loro, che è preoccupato. Il fatto che accetti intellettualmente che il suo gioco d'azzardo crea dipendenza suscita speranza. Probabilmente ha combattuto per un po' di tempo contro l'accettazione del suo alcolismo prima di essere pronto ad affrontarlo e prendere le misure necessarie per controllarlo. Se fosse facile per una persona accettare una dipendenza e affrontarla Beth, non lo farei qui. Sospetto che tuo marito capisca più di quanto pensi, ma capire e fare qualcosa al riguardo richiede forza e forse a tuo marito manca quella forza "al momento". Sento la tua solitudine e capisco davvero. Spero che continuerai a postare e spero che tra le righe troverai la forza per mantenere la tua famiglia, non solo a galla, ma navigando verso acque più calme. Sono sollevato dal fatto che tu abbia amici e familiari che ti supportano: sono consapevoli della tua preoccupazione? La paura dell'ignoto è paralizzante, per favore continua a prenderti cura di te stesso, a fare cose e a vedere persone che ti piacciono. Per favore continua a postare Velvet
Hi Beth
I am wondering if, although he gambled $500, seemingly without batting an eye, whether he then lost that $500 in which case his belief in his ability to control himself will hopefully have taken another knock.
Your husband accepted he has an alcoholic addiction 3 years ago but it now appears that he has sleep walked into another addiction. This is not an unknown situation on this site and will not be an unknown situation for others in your husband’s AA group, maybe you could ask him to discuss your concerns with his fellow members – even if he will not admit to himself, or them, that he is concerned. The fact that he intellectually accepts that his gambling is addictive gives rise to hope. He probably fought against accepting his alcoholism for some time before he was ready to face it and take the necessary steps to control it.
If it was easy for a person to accept an addiction and deal with it Beth, I wouldn’t he here. I suspect your husband understands more than you think but understanding and doing something about it takes strength and maybe your husband lacks that strength ‘at the moment’.
I can feel your loneliness and I really do understand. I hope you will keep posting and hopefully between the lines you will find the strength to keep your family, not just afloat but sailing towards calmer waters.
I am relieved that you have friends and family who are supportive towards you – are they aware of your concern?
Fear of the unknown is crippling, please keep looking after yourself and doing things and seeing people that please you.
Please keep posting
Velvetہائے بیتھ میں حیران ہوں کہ اگر اس نے 500 ڈالر کا جوا کھیل لیا ، بظاہر ایک آنکھ مارے بغیر ، کیا اس نے وہ 500 ڈالر کھو دیئے ، اس صورت میں اس کا خود پر قابو پانے کی صلاحیت پر یقین یقینا ایک اور دستک لے گا۔ آپ کے شوہر نے قبول کیا کہ اسے 3 سال قبل الکحل کی لت ہے لیکن اب ایسا لگتا ہے کہ اسے نیند کسی اور نشے کی طرف لے گئی ہے۔ یہ اس سائٹ پر کوئی نامعلوم صورتحال نہیں ہے اور آپ کے شوہر کے اے اے گروپ میں دوسروں کے لیے نامعلوم صورتحال نہیں ہوگی ، شاید آپ اسے اپنے ساتھی ممبروں کے ساتھ اپنے خدشات پر بات کرنے کے لیے کہہ سکتے ہیں – چاہے وہ اپنے آپ کو تسلیم نہیں کرے گا ، یا انہیں ، کہ وہ فکر مند ہے. یہ حقیقت کہ وہ دانشورانہ طور پر قبول کرتا ہے کہ اس کا جوا لت ہے امید کو جنم دیتا ہے۔ اس نے اس کا سامنا کرنے اور اس پر قابو پانے کے لیے ضروری اقدامات کرنے سے پہلے کچھ عرصے کے لیے اپنی شراب نوشی کو قبول کرنے کے خلاف جنگ لڑی۔ اگر کسی شخص کے لیے نشے کو قبول کرنا اور اس سے نمٹنا بیتھ کے لیے آسان ہوتا تو میں یہاں نہیں ہوتا۔ مجھے شک ہے کہ آپ کا شوہر آپ کی سوچ سے زیادہ سمجھتا ہے لیکن اس کے بارے میں کچھ سمجھنے اور کرنے میں طاقت درکار ہوتی ہے اور شاید آپ کے شوہر میں اس وقت اس طاقت کی کمی ہے۔ میں آپ کی تنہائی کو محسوس کر سکتا ہوں اور میں واقعی سمجھتا ہوں۔ مجھے امید ہے کہ آپ پوسٹ کرتے رہیں گے اور امید ہے کہ لائنوں کے درمیان آپ کو اپنے خاندان کو برقرار رکھنے کی طاقت ملے گی ، نہ صرف تیز بلکہ پرسکون پانی کی طرف سفر کریں گے۔ مجھے اطمینان ہے کہ آپ کے دوست اور کنبہ ہیں جو آپ کی حمایت کرتے ہیں – کیا وہ آپ کی پریشانی سے واقف ہیں؟ نامعلوم کا خوف معذور ہے ، براہ کرم اپنی دیکھ بھال کرتے رہیں اور کام کرتے رہیں اور ایسے لوگوں کو دیکھیں جو آپ کو خوش کرتے ہیں۔ براہ کرم ویلویٹ پوسٹ کرتے رہیں۔
Hi T
I have just seen your post on Velley’s thread.
I cannot tell you that if you do (a) or (b) then everything will be alright because I don’t have a crystal ball. Your bf is not thinking logically but, in my opinion, he is manipulating you with his anger to get money to indulge his addiction. What I do know is that if you give him money then you will fuel his addiction and he will be back demanding more.
The addiction to gamble is selfish and I doubt you will see any of the money he has promised you. It is only when you recognise that you are part of the cycle that you will know what is right for you.
Your bf’s addiction is the master of manipulation. You probably find yourself in the middle of an argument without knowing how you got there. When he is shouting at you, he will probably welcome you shouting back because it gives him a chance to shout louder and blame you. Shouting, pleading and threatening will merely waste your energy and change nothing.
Maybe you could let him know that you have had to seek help for yourself because you need support and you want to do what is right for both of you. Perhaps you could download the 20-Questions from the Gamblers Anonymous web site and leave them for him to see – I don’t suggest handling them to him as this will almost certainly give him an opportunity to start another row.
Please keep posting T. I’m sorry you didn’t make the group this evening but there is another one next Tuesday.
VelvetHello Sellsatt and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
Hello Zed and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
Hello Ana and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!