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It sounds as if you are taking the steps needed for your recovery. It is scary, but like the title of a self-help book, sometimes you need to feel the fear and do it anyway. I am sure you will get lots of support at GA and hopefully some practical advice about finances too.
No shame in getting help to sleep – just don’t make a habit of it!
I hope all goes well this week and you keep on your recovery journey.
Yeah, I didn’t find getting into groups easy. I found I had to go in via the groups page and NOT the timetable. Maybe someone more experienced or a mod could help.
Sorry to hear your head is a mess, but well done for not gambling. It does get easier in time but that’s probably no comfort right now. Is there something you could treat yourself to? I know you will be reluctant to spend money right now and especially on yourself, but something inexpensive which will keep you further away from a bet? You are worth it.
So can you use the army as a way of letting your feelings out? I guess there will be a gym, training, a chance to punch, kick, shout and really let go. You may still be in pain but your head should be clearer.
It will be important to find something else you can relax with otherwise the temptation to gamble will prey on you, especially if you make friends who play cards etc.
You are holding up well. Take care of yourself.
I’m not sure if you are saying you need to stop gambling or not. Don’t get me wrong, I think you need to stop but I am not sure you believe it.
You imply that your gambling is a symptom on a wider, personality problem. That may be true, but gambling isn’t going to help you to deal with that. Neither is leading a closed life. You do need to open up, to a group or trusted individual, preferably face to face. Someone local, who knows what help is available in your area would be good.
Come back when you can hopefully clearer and maybe get more targeted help.
Hi Rose – good that you have posted and sorry to hear about your situation. The first thing is you need to stop gambling NOW. If you can bar yourself from gambling sites or premises. Depending on which country you are in you maybe able to stop using your credit cards for gambling purposes and in any event if you can you should cut them up so you can’t use them. Then get good impartial financial advice / debt counseling. There may well be alternatives to bankruptcy, you will only know by exploring this.
Above all, it sounds like you are really isolated with your problem. Does anyone know? Is there anyone near to you that can listen and support you? Check if there is a GA or similar group nearby, the Samaritans may be able to help and are always there if you are feeling suicidal. Keep posting here and try to join a group or 1-2-1 session. You’ve taken a big first step by posting here. Open yourself to getting the help you need, there’s no shame in that. You are in crisis – get help. I wish you well.
Well done for keeping strong and not registering … I was interested in your passion for music and wondered if that could be a good distraction for you. Rather than explore new casinos you could explore new ways of being creative with music online.
I did go back to the piano when I stopped gambling, but then found I was more interested in world music and exploring the music of different countries some of which were totally new to me. Who knew that Finnish folk could be so beautiful.
I know the next few days will be a tricky time for you as you try and break the two week barrier. You can click on the “groups” button from the homepage and find out when the next is being held. I’ve only been once so am no expert, hopefully others will fill you in.
I hope some of this helps. Go well.
Your post doesn’t sound negative to me, but real. Weekends can be difficult without work to distract. What did you do to relax before gambling? Could you pick it up again? Is there something you always wanted to do but felt you didn’t have time for?
Drinking wasn’t a trigger for me, but when I stopped gambling I drank more – I had more time! But I have seen people switch one addiction for another, be it food, drink or shopping etc.
I used to do courses at weekends from basic counselling to dancing, but that wouldn’t be relaxation for some. I hope the suggestions help. Maybe people will chip in with others.
It is tough when other friends talk about gambling. Maybe they don’t have a problem with it. Maybe they do, but that is for them to sort out, you just need to stick to your own recovery. If you are getting urges, talk to someone. If thst is not possible, do something to take your mind off gambling. I am working on ” doing what needs to be done” which in my case is all the jobs I am putting off!
Keep going with this … Good to hear from you again.
Het is moeilijk als andere vrienden praten over gokken. Misschien hebben ze er geen probleem mee. Misschien doen ze dat, maar dat is voor hen om uit te zoeken, je moet je gewoon aan je eigen herstel houden. Als je aandrang krijgt, praat dan met iemand. Als dat niet mogelijk is, doe dan iets om je gedachten af te leiden van het gokken. Ik ben bezig met "doen wat gedaan moet worden", wat in mijn geval alle klussen zijn die ik uitstel!
Ga hiermee door… Goed om weer van je te horen.
Трудно е, когато други приятели говорят за хазарт. Може би нямат проблем с това. Може би го правят, но това е за тях да решат, просто трябва да се придържате към собственото си възстановяване. Ако получавате желания, говорете с някого. Ако това не е възможно, направете нещо, за да отвлечете мислите си от хазарта. Работя върху „правене на това, което трябва да се направи“, което в моя случай са всички работни места, които отлагам!
Продължавай с това … Радвам се да те чуя отново.
Hello Sentinel, good to hear from you at this difficult time. It sounds like you have a problem with gambling and need to stop. No more chasing losses, you need to put a line under them and find other ways to pay your debts off. This won’t be easy, you need good financial advice and lots of support. Cut yourself off from credit. Bar yourself from gambling sites and premises – put the time into your recovery that you put into gambling. Look at ways of spending time profitably to help ease the debts and give you less time to gamble with. If you have no time and no access to money then you can’t gamble.
Get good support for yourself. See if there is a group local to your area – GA or similar. Come to groups here. If you feel you can, share your story with a loved one or trusted friend, it will make the journey easier. I wish you well.
Hi Vasilis. So sorry to hear about the breakup of your relationship. This is a time to keep strong as you will be emotional and gambling is what we know when feelings get too much. I remember when my marriage ended, really wanting to go back to gambling, but somewhere in my head a voice was also saying, “you are hurting enough, don’t make it worse by gambling.”. I am so glad I listened to that voice, I don’t think I could cope with all the crap that comes with gambling anymore. Does the army provide counseling in your country? Just a thought. Keep strong and keep posting!
You have realised that you can never place another bet. Well done for that and for wanting a new life gambling free. If only just not placing bets was all there was to it.
You will need to create a whole new life for yourself, one that is without competitive sports as that is a trigger for you. That doesn’t mean you can’t challenge yourself, there are no gambling ads on hiking trails or mountainsides – but at the game or watching on TV … In some sports the players are running adverts for gambling.
You will probably need to make new friends who won’t drag you to a game. You will need a lot of support to make these changes, be that through a group like GA or counseling. If you look upon your recovery as your challenge you will feel better and better about yourself the more days you stay away from a bet.
Finally don’t chase losses. Your finances may not improve immediately and may even get worse with interest and penalties even after you stop gambling. Get good advice about debts and find ways of clearing them by other (legal) means. See that as another challenge in life that you can surmount – I wish you well in your new life.
I liked – “Looking at the positives, my heath is good, my family, my education, my job, food to eat, a home to live In. ”
I spoke to a friend of mine a few weeks before Christmas and she told me the same sort of thing. She also told me she had a headache. That headache turned out to be the beginnings of a stroke and I went to see her in hospital yesterday. She found it hard to talk to me to articulate words -but I could make out that she really hated being in hospital all over Christmas and New year – but then she survived a stroke and she is still smiling. If she can do that, I am sure we can survive this addiction. Keep strong.
Ik hield van – "Als ik naar de positieve punten kijk, is mijn gezondheid goed, mijn familie, mijn opleiding, mijn baan, eten om te eten, een huis om in te wonen." Ik sprak een paar weken voor Kerstmis met een vriend van mij en zij vertelde me hetzelfde soort dingen. Ze vertelde me ook dat ze hoofdpijn had. Die hoofdpijn bleek het begin van een beroerte te zijn en ik ging gisteren naar haar toe in het ziekenhuis. Ze vond het moeilijk om met me te praten om woorden te verwoorden – maar ik kon zien dat ze er echt een hekel aan had om met Kerstmis en Nieuwjaar in het ziekenhuis te liggen – maar toen overleefde ze een beroerte en ze lacht nog steeds. Als ze dat kan, weet ik zeker dat we deze verslaving kunnen overleven. Blijf sterk.