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I think that even if you are not working you can still gamble either with borrowed money or benefits. It feels like a tough way to tackle the problem – but I guess if it works for you.
Seven years is a fantastic amount of time to be gf and I wonder what went wrong and if you can put back in place what you did then? Perhaps you would like to write a bit more … ?
Sorry to hear how you are being bugged by creditors, especially when you are unwell. Good that you are finding support from GMA and have managed to get some sense from the tax people.
I am so pleased that I don’t have the money worries any more – but as you know I am experiencing health problems. So far all the medics want to do is more tests when what I want is some sort of remedy!
I find it a little sad that at a time when my health, energy and income were all at a high – all I could think about doing was playing machines. But at least I found the wherewithal to stop – as you have and all I can think to do now is help people who also want out of this gambling hell.
I wish you all the best on your health journey – I hope that you can get to a place that feels right for you. I hope that there can be some resolution to your money worries so that the stress isn’t adding to the worry you must have about your health.
Look after yourself and take up the support when you need it. You deserve it.
It will be a blow to him – but I think if he is going to find out anyway next week – it is better to say something than for him to find out for himself.
Be straight with him, don’t lie on any point as family members will find lies difficult to deal with.I can’t say what his reaction will be. I don’t know him or your families history. I would hope that he will see that you are still his daughter and that it was your behaviour that led to the loss – and that is not ALL of you.
I expect he will be angry and upset – but he gave you that money and it is you that has lost out on the house deposit not him. It is you that will now have to work hard to pay it back.
Stop gambling now. Use the means of blocking and banning yourself, getting support, losing access to money and filling your time. Post on here to let us know what is happening and take part in the groups on here (newcomers tonight) if you can. I wish you well.
You could have continued the thread you started last week – when you were invited to tell us a little more about yourself. It is good to hear a bit more about your situation.
Firstly, well done on your 16 days. That can’t have been easy on your own. You will have constant thoughts about gambling, that is to be expected – but they will lessen as time goes on.
When I had gambling thoughts – I did things that took my attention away from gambling. For me they were walking, chatting to people on line, playing other (non gambling) games or watching comedy shows. I can’t say what it is for you – we all have our own interests – but keeping busy with other things is the key. Do you attend a self-help group like GA? That would also keep you thinking as a non-gambler and help with the urges. http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/
I like the idea of starting as if day 32 is day 1. You now know you can go 1 month without gambling. All you have to do now is keep repeating that. (I know easier said than done.) But I know it is great to have a month under your belt.
In the short term – the advice is to put barriers in the way and get good support for yourself. In the long-term, I feel it is looking at what has led you to gamble in the first place and totally changing your life to that of a non-gambler.
Let’s just tackle short-term. Your problem is slots, I assume that is not online. If so you need to lose easy access to money – because no money no gamble. So can someone else ( a partner, family member, very trustworthy friend) handle your cash until you are strong enough to take back control again (which might be a few years!) If not – try to make access to cash as difficult as possible. When you get paid buy gift cards that you can use at supermarkets – you can’t put them in slots. Only carry with you as little as you need for day to day expenses – the very act of having to get cash out might make you think again. The second thing is to get local support – check to see if there is a GA meeting near you – http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/locations or another support group for addictions or personal growth. Talk to a medic about the possibility of group or individual counselling. Come to the group sessions on here for new members on a Monday and Thursday evening (click on groups for times) and you will get good advise from others using the site. Keep busy – don’t make the time for gambling. If boredom becomes a problem pick up another (non gambling) interest or just log on to a forum somewhere and chat. I wish you well.
Вы сказали, что не любите людей, вмешивающихся в ваши финансы. Вы также сказали, что надеетесь не покончить жизнь самоубийством из-за азартных игр. Могу я указать вам, что, если бы вы совершили самоубийство, другие люди вмешались бы в ваши финансы. Подумайте, лучше, чтобы они мешали, и вы наверняка еще живы!
You have said that you don’t like people interfering with your finances. You also said that you hope you don’t commit suicide through gambling. Can I point out to you that if you were to commit suicide, other people woulld then be interfering with your finances. Think about it, better that they interfere and you are still alive surely!
I saw you in group earlier and you said hi – but before I could respond you were gone and did not come back.
I know you have dodgy reception atm, but just checking that you are okay and are not in need of support. Hope all is going well.Когда вы написали этот комментарий, я подумал, есть ли рядом с вами кто-нибудь, кто может помочь. Под этим я подразумеваю практическую помощь, а также необходимую вам эмоциональную поддержку.
Есть ли кто-нибудь, кто сможет справиться с вашими финансами в день выплаты жалованья, чтобы у вас не было денег, с которыми можно было бы делать ставки? Есть ли кто-нибудь, с кем вы можете поговорить, когда желание сыграть в азартные игры станет сильным?
Большая часть наших азартных игр происходит в одиночку, и мы гордимся своей самодостаточностью и способностью действовать в одиночку. Бросить азартные игры намного проще, если мы доверяемся другим и получаем помощь и поддержку из как можно большего числа источников.
Пожалуйста, немедленно поговорите с кем-нибудь, если вы чувствуете себя склонным к суициду – я не знаю, есть ли в Нигерии телефоны доверия, – но befrienders international может помочь – https://www.befrienders.org/ Желаю вам всего наилучшего.
When you wrote that comment – I wondered if you have anyone around you who can help. By that I mean practical help as well as the emotional support you need.
Is there someone who can handle your finances on payday so that you won’t have the money to bet with? Is there someone that you can talk to when the urge to gamble becomes strong?
Most of our gambling takes place on our own and we pride ourselves on being self-sufficient and able to do things alone. Quitting gambling is far easier when we confide in others and get help and support from as many sources as possible.
Please talk to someone immediately if you feel suicidal – I don’t know if there are any helplines in Nigeria – but befrienders international may help – https://www.befrienders.org/ I wish you well.
I found it hard to read your story as you sum up the despair of being an addicted gambler in so few words. I too worked hard and had nothing to show for it – working days, evenings and weekends and still finding time to gamble and throw away every penny I earned.
You said you found some success with GA and then, “my internal struggles and depression kicked in …” That sounds to me as if there is more going on for you than the gambling and it might be time for some professional help. If you are in the UK try speaking to your GP or contacting Gamcare. https://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/find-local-treatment/
In the meantime you must know the advice from your GA days – so lose access to the gamble, try and lose access to your finances (can your gf manage your money?) and get good support from GA and here.
I know there will be some resistance to going for counselling it is a difficult step to talk about what is going on in our heads – but counsellors are trained to be non-judgmental and confidentiality is ensured. Try and find someone you gel with and stick with it. I wish you well.I found (on my many relapses) that even when I was only gambling for small amounts in (to my mind) a controlled way – the stress and the voices in my head “should I – shouldn’t I – how much for how long!” just weren’t worth it. Stress in the past could have contributed to my medical problems now. So cut it all out. Be a non-gambler. Well done on your 8 days.