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It sounds like you are getting into that period where you feel the normal of “not gambling” is somehow “boring” and your brain is craving for the “excitement” of the highs and lows of bing in action. I know when I slipped in the past – it was due to my behaviour telling me that I can be a “normal” gambler – and that the odd play on the machines once in a while wouldn’t do me any harm.
It never stopped at the “odd play” though – and even after a single session I was thinking about where I can get more money from, how can I maximise my payouts, when will I be able to get back on, my mind churning over and over. Yes I was no longer bored – but I was now suffering from those worry thoughts that took lots of work to put behind me.
I had to embrace the “boring” and see it as peace and contentment instead, watching for and delighting in the subtle, simple things in life that I missed when I was caught up in gambling action.
I am sure you will hold firm and not give in to the gambling thoughts – but if you need back up, just give people on here a shout. Take good care of yourself.
Takk for et så positivt innlegg og gratulerer med 243 dager. Det er interessant at nå har jeg penger (for første gang på flere tiår), jeg går ikke ut og bruker dem vilt – men i stedet føler jeg meg komfortabel i det faktum at hvis noe dukket opp, hadde jeg råd til å sortere det og ikke ha å bekymre seg for det. Faktisk har ikke bekymring vært den største tingen for meg. Jeg tror at da jeg var i aksjon, var jeg bare en stor bekymringsball!
Godt å høre at det går bra med deg og at du legger planer for din spillfrie fremtid. Ditt nye liv!
Спасибо за такой положительный пост и поздравляю с вашими 243 днями. Интересно, что теперь у меня есть деньги (впервые за десятилетия), я не выхожу и бешено их трачу – но вместо этого чувствую себя комфортно, потому что если что-то и всплывет, я мог бы позволить себе их разобрать и не иметь беспокоиться об этом. На самом деле, не беспокоиться было для меня самым важным. Думаю, когда я был в действии, я был всего лишь одним большим комом беспокойства!
Приятно слышать, что у вас все хорошо и вы строите планы на будущее, свободное от азартных игр. Твоя новая жизнь!
Thanks for such a positive post and congrats on your 243 days. It is interesting that now I have money (for the first time in decades) I am not going out and wildly spending it – but instead I feel comfortable in the fact that if something did come up, I could afford to sort it and not have to worry about it. In fact not worrying has been the biggest thing for me. I think when I was in action, I was just one big ball of worry!
Good to hear that things are going well for you and that you are making plans for your gamble free future. Your new life!
Благодаря за толкова положителен пост и поздравления за вашите 243 дни. Интересно е, че сега имам пари (за първи път от десетилетия), че няма да излизам и да ги изразходвам диво – но вместо това се чувствам комфортно във факта, че ако нещо се появи, мога да си позволя да ги сортирам, а не да се тревожи за това. Всъщност за мен не е притеснение най -голямото нещо. Мисля, че когато бях в действие, бях само една голяма топка от притеснения!
Радвам се да чуя, че нещата вървят добре при вас и че правите планове за вашето бъдеще без хазарт. Вашият нов живот!
Terima kasih atas postingan yang positif dan selamat atas 243 hari Anda. Sangat menarik bahwa sekarang saya punya uang (untuk pertama kalinya dalam beberapa dekade) saya tidak keluar dan membelanjakannya dengan liar – tetapi sebaliknya saya merasa nyaman dalam kenyataan bahwa jika sesuatu muncul, saya mampu memilahnya dan tidak memilikinya. untuk mengkhawatirkannya. Bahkan tidak khawatir telah menjadi hal terbesar bagi saya. Saya pikir ketika saya beraksi, saya hanya satu kekhawatiran besar!
Senang mendengar bahwa semuanya berjalan baik untuk Anda dan Anda membuat rencana untuk masa depan bebas perjudian Anda. Hidup baru Anda!
Bedankt voor zo'n positieve post en gefeliciteerd met je 243 dagen. Het is interessant dat ik nu geld heb (voor het eerst in decennia) dat ik niet naar buiten ga om het wild uit te geven – maar in plaats daarvan voel ik me op mijn gemak in het feit dat als er iets zou gebeuren, ik het me zou kunnen veroorloven om het te sorteren en niet te hebben zich er zorgen over maken. In feite was geen zorgen maken het belangrijkste voor mij. Ik denk dat toen ik in actie was, ik gewoon een grote zorg was!
Goed om te horen dat het goed met je gaat en dat je plannen maakt voor je gokvrije toekomst. Jouw nieuwe leven!
Vă mulțumim pentru o astfel de postare pozitivă și felicitări pentru cele 243 de zile. Este interesant că acum am bani (pentru prima dată în ultimele decenii) nu ies și îi cheltuiesc sălbatic – dar în schimb mă simt confortabil în faptul că, dacă ar apărea ceva, mi-aș permite să-i sortez și să nu să-ți faci griji. De fapt, a nu fi îngrijorător a fost cel mai mare lucru pentru mine. Cred că atunci când eram în acțiune, eram doar o minge mare de îngrijorare!
Mă bucur să auzi că lucrurile merg bine pentru tine și că îți faci planuri pentru viitorul tău gratuit. Noua ta viață!
You posted: “After hearing some of the horror stories from other compulsive gamblers i wonder if i have yet to hit my rock bottom as is talked about.”
I was / am addicted to slots and I hit my own personal rock bottom when I realised that if I kept betting I would not be able to afford to service my credit card debt and that I might default on my mortgage and become homeless.
I didn’t wait until I BECAME homeless to take action – I knew there were further “rock bottoms” out there – but that was my red line. Like you GA was a big part of my recovery and once I was aware of what I needed to do I kept at it, despite having many “slips” along the way. I was still paying of my debts 20 years after first seeking recovery and 10 years after my last bet – but I was never homeless.
There is no need to experience further “rock bottoms” – work your recovery. 50 days is a great achievement – keep it going ODAAT!
Well done you! I hope things are going great for you!
You lost $20,000 on online betting, now a further $5,000 on scratch cards. You now know that ALL types of betting are not for you – you are compulsive and unable to control this.
You will need to think in the same way as a non-gambler … that ALL forms of gambling are not for you in the same way as some-one with a peanut allergy avoids it in all foods. That will mean giving up the dream of the big win, but life goes on.
Although you can’t self exclude – you can do other things to minimize your acting out on the urge to gamble. Carry as little money as possible – if you can, hand over your finances to a trusted loved one. Get as much support as possible from a counselor or self help group like GA. Find an alternative way of using your leisure time that does not involve gambling in any shape or form.
You still have some savings, you are not in debt or crisis. Don’t wait until you reach those “rock bottoms” do something about your behaviour now and enjoy the life you deserve. I wish you well.
Hi Emma, sorry to hear that you have had such a shock and glad that the emergency has had a good outcome. Also congratulations on your 4 weeks gamble free. It feels like it is longer – your posts are so mature and insightful.
You wrote: “I’m sitting reflecting now and had a realisation. In that time of stress and worry I didn’t think about gambling once. That showed me that gambling is not a crutch for me. I don’t rely on it. It isn’t something that I look to for help and support.”
I know gambling didn’t help and support me. I know that gambling was something I used when bad feelings overwhelmed me … and that included grief. When my mother died – I was the one who found her and had to call the emergency services etc. I didn’t think of gambling at all whilst all that was going on. But I still feel shame about the fact that I gambled on the day of her funeral.
I am now in a space where I am rarely troubled by difficult feelings, I know that gambling could numb the pain – but the pain will still be there when I stop to take breath and I would have the added pain of loss of money, possible debt and all the worries and concerns that are the mainstay of these forums. I don’t need that in my life – so I don’t gamble any more. Thanks for your post.
You wrote: “What I’m really struggling with is handling the situation with my girlfriend.”
Put yourself in her shoes … you said, “I’ll always know I should have an extra $150k if it wasn’t for my stupid gambling. And that’s a ton of money, it’s ridiculous.”
She knows it too – and it is affecting her life as well. Yes she is mad / sad / depressed and probably needs to vent at the moment. Once she has done this – you both need to look rationally at the situation and plan for when you will have money again and be dealing with the urge to gamble. Have you put barriers in place? Ensure that you are banned or blocked from places where you might gamble – all of them. Can she handle your finances for a time until you are strong enough to take back control, (and this might take years?) Are you getting support from as many agencies as possible, not just here but in your local area through counseling or Gamblers’ Anonymous or similar? Have you a plan for how you will use your time?
Gambling is something that we do alone. We hide it from our loved ones because of the shame we feel. The opposite needs to happen with recovery, to be open as as involved as the others want to be. Some partner’s see it as something a couple / family should deal with together. Some see it as something the gambler needs to deal with, albeit with their loving support.
At some point when the mad/sad/depressed phase has run its course – have a conversation with your girlfriend about how she can support you and how you can support her to get through the next few years without gambling together. I wish you well.
I keep meaning to write a post about procrastination. I’ll get around to it, one of these days …
Hi Staystrong. I will reply elsewhere as I don’t want to clutter up someone else’s thread. I can’t see a thread from you – but if you want responses from others it might be as well to start one. 🙂