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अच्छा किया डार्कएनर्जी०१३८, मुझे आशा है कि आप नियंत्रण से बाहर नहीं होने की खुशी से गहराई से पीना जारी रखेंगे। लेकिन यह मत भूलो कि यहां पहुंचने में आपको सालों लग गए, इसलिए कुछ ही दिनों में किसी समाधान पर पहुंचने की संभावना नहीं है; 30 दिन से छह साल के अनुपात की बात। शुरुआती दिनों में कोई मुझसे कहा करता था: हे पोर्टनॉय अब आपने जुआ बंद कर दिया है, तीन स्थितियां हैं जब आप फिर से जुए के लिए सबसे अधिक असुरक्षित होते हैं: पहला जब आप वास्तव में खुश होते हैं, दूसरा जब आप वास्तव में नीचे होते हैं …. और जब मैंने पूछा कि तीसरी स्थिति क्या है तो उन्होंने किसी भी समय उच्च और निम्न के बीच उत्तर दिया। मैं एक ऐसे व्यक्ति के बारे में जानता हूं जो 22 वर्षों के बाद और अधिक कार्रवाई के लिए वापस चला गया: वह आत्म-दया के साथ जीए की बैठक में वापस आया और उसे कुर्सी से बेहिचक बताया गया कि उसकी समस्या यह थी कि उसने वर्षों की गिनती शुरू कर दी थी, न कि दिन और उसे याद दिलाया गया कि उसे पूरी बैठक के लिए रुकना चाहिए, न कि उसकी आदत के अनुसार, आधे रास्ते के ब्रेक पर ढलान करना! इस पागलपन का कोई त्वरित समाधान नहीं है। इसे दैनिक आधार पर काम करें और 24 घंटे की किसी भी अवधि के लिए आभारी रहें जो आप बिना जुए के हासिल कर सकते हैं। आपको कामयाबी मिले।
Remek sötétség0138, remélem, továbbra is mélyen iszol az örömtől, hogy nem lehetsz kontroll alatt. De ne felejtsük el, hogy évekbe telt, mire ideért, így nem valószínű, hogy néhány napon belül meg fogja találni a megoldást; 30 naptól hat évig terjedő arány. Az első időkben valaki azt mondta nekem: hé, Portnoy, most abbahagytad a szerencsejátékot, három olyan helyzet van, amikor újra a legveszélyeztetettebbek vagytok a szerencsejátékokkal szemben: először is, amikor igazán boldogok vagy, másodszor, amikor nagyon le vagy esve. amikor megkérdeztem, hogy mi a harmadik helyzet, válaszolt máskor a csúcsok és a mélypontok között. Ismerek egy olyan egyénit, aki 22 év után visszament több akcióra: visszatért egy GA-értekezletre, tele önsajnálattal, és a szertartás nélkül közölte a székkel, hogy az a problémája, hogy elkezdte számolni az éveket, és nem nap, és emlékeztették, hogy maradjon az egész találkozón, és ne szokása szerint dőljön le a félúton! Ennek az őrületnek nincs gyors megoldása. Dolgozzon napi rendszerességgel, és legyen hálás minden 24 órás időszakért, amelyet szerencsejáték nélkül érhet el. Sok szerencsét.
Goed gedaan darkenergy0138, ik hoop dat je diep blijft drinken van de vreugde dat je niet uit de hand loopt. Maar vergeet niet dat het jaren heeft geduurd om hier te komen, dus het is onwaarschijnlijk dat u binnen een paar dagen tot een oplossing zult komen; 30 dagen tot zes jaar een soort verhouding ding. Vroeger zei iemand tegen me: hey Portnoy nu je bent gestopt met gokken, zijn er drie situaties waarin je weer het meest kwetsbaar bent voor gokken: ten eerste als je echt gelukkig bent, ten tweede als je echt down bent …. en toen ik vroeg wat de derde situatie is, antwoordde hij elke andere keer tussen de hoogte- en dieptepunten. Ik ken een persoon die na 22 jaar weer op pad ging voor meer actie: hij kwam terug naar een GA-bijeenkomst vol zelfmedelijden en kreeg zonder pardon door de voorzitter te horen dat zijn probleem was dat hij de jaren begon te tellen en niet de dagen en hij werd eraan herinnerd dat hij de hele vergadering moest blijven en niet, zoals zijn gewoonte was, halverwege de pauze af te dwalen! Er is geen snelle oplossing voor deze waanzin. Werk er dagelijks aan en wees dankbaar voor elke periode van 24 uur die je kunt bereiken zonder te gokken. Veel geluk.
Hästi tehtud darkenergy0138, ma loodan, et te jätkate sügavalt joomist rõõmust, et te pole kontrolli all. Kuid ärge unustage, et teil kulus siia jõudmiseks aastaid, nii et tõenäoliselt ei jõua te lahendusteni mõne päevaga; 30 päeva kuni kuus aastat suhtarv. Keegi ütles mulle juba algusaegadel: hei Portnoy, nüüd olete hasartmängud lõpetanud, on kolm olukorda, kus olete hasartmängude suhtes kõige haavatavam: esiteks, kui olete tõeliselt õnnelik, teiseks, kui olete tõesti maas … ja kui ma küsisin, mis on kolmas olukord, vastas ta muul ajal tõusude ja mõõnade vahel. Ma tean üht indiviidi, kes läks 22 aasta pärast rohkem tegutsema: ta tuli tagasi üldkoosoleku koosolekule, mis oli täis enesehaletsust ja juhataja ütles talle tseremooniateta, et tema probleem on selles, et ta on hakanud loendama aastaid, mitte päeva ja talle tuletati meelde, et ta peaks jääma terveks koosolekuks ja mitte, nagu tal kombeks, poolel vaheajal maha kalduma! Sellele hullumeelsusele pole kiiret lahendust. Töötage sellega igapäevaselt ja olge tänulik iga 24 -tunnise perioodi eest, mille saate saavutada ilma hasartmängudeta. Edu.
Bravo darkenergy0138, nadam se da ćeš i dalje piti duboko od radosti što nisi izmakao kontroli. Ali ne zaboravite da su vam bile potrebne godine da dođete ovamo pa vjerojatno nećete doći do rješenja u pregršt dana; Odnos od 30 dana do šest godina. Netko mi je znao reći još u prvim danima: hej Portnoy, sada si prestao kockati, postoje tri situacije kada si opet najugroženiji od kockanja: prvo kad si stvarno sretan, drugo kad si stvarno pao …. i na moje pitanje koja je treća situacija odgovorio je bilo koji put između uspona i padova. Znam za jednog pojedinca koji se nakon 22 godine vratio na akciju: vratio se na sastanak Glavne skupštine prepun samosažaljenja, a stolica mu je besmisleno rekla da je njegov problem što je počeo brojati godine, a ne dana i podsjetili su ga da bi trebao ostati cijeli sastanak, a ne da se, kao što mu je to uobičajeno, odmaknuo na pola puta! Nema brzog rješavanja ovog ludila. Radite to svakodnevno i budite zahvalni na svakom razdoblju od 24 sata koje možete ostvariti bez kockanja. Sretno.
Браво darkenergy0138, надявам се да продължиш да пиеш дълбоко от радостта да не излезеш извън контрол. Но не забравяйте, че са ви отнели години, за да стигнете дотук, така че е малко вероятно да стигнете до решение след няколко дни; 30 дни до шест години нещо като съотношение. Някой ми казваше още в ранните дни: Здравей Портной сега, когато си спрял да играеш, има три ситуации, в които си най -уязвим към хазарта отново: първо, когато си наистина щастлив, второ, когато наистина си потънал …. и когато попитах каква е третата ситуация, той отговори друг път между върховете и спадовете. Познавам един индидуал, който се върна за повече действия след 22 години: той се върна на среща на Генерална Асамблея, изпълнена със самосъжаление, и от стола му беше казано безцеремонно, че проблемът му е, че е започнал да брои годините, а не дни и му беше напомнено, че трябва да остане за цялата среща, а не, както му беше навик, да се наклони на почивката по средата! Няма бърза корекция на тази лудост. Работете ежедневно и бъдете благодарни за всеки период от 24 часа, който можете да постигнете без хазарт. Късмет.
Hi Stuart
Firstly it’s never about the amount of money. Your life savings objectively might amount to a considerable amount of money but the gambler who lives in a homeless hostel and does his benefit check in an hour is in exactly the same position as you. Skint, angry, bewilderd, and eager to recoup their losses.
I wonder from reading your account if in fact you have done enough damage to be feeling enough pain to really turn this round. Most of us tend to be well past the last chance saloon before we are ready to accept the reality of being defeated and being losers.
I share the dual addiction too except mine operated the opposite way. I never drank when I gambled but did so afterwards normally to console myself but occasionally because I won some money, the crueleest part of gambling if like me you are a compulsive gambler. The reason for not drinking and gambling is in retrospect hilarious – I thought alcohol would affect my judgement when I was in action!!!!! This really serves to underline for me that I suffered from some sort of mental illness!
On considering your predicament surely the solution is therefore to quit drinking because you only gamble if you are boozed up. The booze may well be your primary addiction and it may be best to address this as the priority if you are confident that this is how it works for you. This would be my suggestion right now.
I have come across a fair few sober drunks who found a very destructive outlet in gambling mainly on the basis that they consider it to be non-chemical and therefore ‘harmless’. These guys were hammering themselves in the bookies. A wise man put it to me that I was doubly blessed by virtue of my dual addiction. The point for me is I would never have quit drinking if I hadn’t quit gambling, my primary addiction, and in the event that I did quit drinking I would never have been able to stop gambling as I would have clung to the idea that having given up drink I was entitled to a bit of fun!
I want to assure you that you can get out from under both these addictions and that you have amade a good start by coming on here and getting to meetings. keep coming back! Good luck
Hi Dev
Early on in my recovery I was told that the sums of money involved were not important and that was because losing a weeks’ welfare for one gambler is just the same as someone else losing a months’ wages in a few hours.
What unites us all is the resulting ‘headf*ck’ of “How did I manage to do that?” It is my experience that it is pretty difficult to explain to ‘normal’ people how we managed to be so ‘stupid’, and in fact continued to be so ‘stupid’ over and over again and again. The bottom line for me was I couldn’t buy a packet of cigarettes or toilet paper because I had played every last penny on. I learned how to navigate being skint, (credit was easier to obtain back in the days when I was active}, and I lived in hope for the monthly pay check – usually gone in 48 hours with loans and bills unpaid. The cruellest aspect of gambling was when I won and like you I sometimes got ahead … but I never got out until I started doing meetings. You can save yourself an enormous amount of pain and hardship by getting to some meetings, sharing your experience with others and developing a sense of hope. Good luck.
Hi Ze2019 thanks for sharing where you are at and for reminding me of the rage I used to feel as a result of gambling and losing. It’s really painful stuff. Who, after all, sprays their money about as if it is ammo being fired from a machine gun? These feelings can become very powerful indeed overwhelming and without support they can be too much. Solution: gamble. That was certainly my approach. Gambling became my fix in the sense that it seemed to offer an escape myself from my problems. My internal dialogue with self was about entitlement: I am entitled to have a bet and a few hours of fun. In reality I was getting in deeper and deeper and was so overwhelmed by debt that I believed the only solutun to my problems was to gamble. And ultimately that meant losing and that meant more and more rage and anger.
Early on in my time with GA I remember another ‘experienced’ member quite literally exploding at me because I challenged him about something utterly unimportant. For my troubles I was on the receiving end of a ten minute rant and I remember looking at this guy as he ranted about having achieved thirty-three years without having a bet blah-blah-blah and what I remember thinking as this rant went on was that if I make it to thirty-three years I don’t want to be like this. I would like to be floating through the clouds, unflappable, happy, at peace with world and my fellow travellers. I am about half way there and I am happy to say my levels of rage and anger are minimal these days but they are still there and I am capable of getting angry; but I am equally capable of recognising when I am in the wrong and when I am not.
Back to you, Ze2019. You now have a real sense that this business of compulsive gambling is not simply about winning and losing but that there are a huge range of emotions at play here. WHat might make it difficult for your nearest and dearests is that they don’t actually know where you are at right now. If you get angry you might care to explain to them what is going on and why you are a little tetchy. They might be able to support and encourage you. As I and others have said before you might want to check out some support like GA or any other groups. It’s much easier doing this with others than doing it on your own. Your peers in such a setting will offer support, acknowledgement and suggestions to you and perhaps enable you to realise the reality of stopping gambling and in turn your contributions can only help yourself and others.
As before it is about today. Don’t gamble today. Deal with tomorrow’s problems tomorrow. Try to acknowledge gratitude for your 24 hour reprieve if you make it to bed tonight and haven’t had a bet. Thanks also because you are helping me too by reminding me of how it once was.
Hey Ze2019 do you notice that by virtue of not having access to any money and by sharing your experiences you are able to say that you are NOT gambling? You might not appreciate the positive aspect of sharing your experience – it reminds me and countless others of what it used to be like. Who really knows how many other people might be anonymously following your thread and identifying with your situation?
Let me offer some observations. No disease that I can think of is actually run by big companies. Your solution is not in the companies that make huge profits from gambling. Rather the solution is in you. Take a look in the mirror and yes, you’re now looking at the problem.
I strongly endorse the suggestions that Steev has made. Get rid of your access to money; debit cards, bank cards, credit cards, cash, everything. Entrust them to your wife. Ask her to give you pocket money on a daily basis. Of course you should explain to her what has happened and why you want her to hold all this stuff. This is simply to get you through the next few months without gambling. A critical moment for you is when you next get paid – if you cannot access this money then you cannot gamble it away in 24 hours. Not gambling it means no exploding head either.
I used to bet in the bookies; a few weeks after I had stopped I found myself thinking it would be a nice idea to drop into the various bookies I used to frequent to give my ‘mates’ Christmas cards!!! Some more experienced people than I was at that time rolled about in laughter at this idea when I shared it with them bu they readily understood this was my version of the insanity of compulsive gambling. Thank goodness I had the benefit of their advice and for once I acted on it.
Good luck and try to keep it nice and simple by not gambling for one day at a time. Forget tomorrow or next week or next month – today is the day and try to get through it and get your head down on the pillow without any form of gambling.
What do you think you would have done if during this latest gambling bout you had actually got ahead, as you put it, got a little bit extra for the rest of the month?
I’ll consider this question a little later. But I want you to know I identify with your sense of isolation and loneliness and now of despair and perhaps a sense that your head might explode. I know exactly where you are because my gambling took me exactly there too. You need to understand you are not alone and help might be nearer than you think.
You’ve been brave enough to describe your circumstances candidly here. You’ll hopefully discover that meeting other people like you and me in real time, in the flesh so to speak, is the next step and will help you hugely in stopping and in staying stopped. I urge you to try to get a meeting of GA or any of the other self help groups that you can get to.
One of the things that really helped me at my first meeting was listening to others talking about their gambling and realizing that I was not alone and that many others were facing the kind of insanity that gambling was causing me; I also learned that a lot of these people had stopped gambling completely and were putting their lives back together again.
So what happened when I gambled and got ahead? Did I take my winnings and pay off bills and credit cards? Nope. At best I went on alcohol and drug fueled binges when I had those winning days but usually what happened was this. I tried to win some more, get more ahead. And ultimately I got in deeper and deeper and lost more and more. After the binges I was soon back in action losing what remained of my winnings and then losing more and more. A vicious circle.
Let me assure you of one thing. You will do the same thing with your next pay check unless you get your finger out. If you carry on you will consider more and more desperate things like more loans and might even consider thieving if you haven’t done so already. It is sadly a downward spirral.
Finally what you describe is not a financial problem. Sure, gambling leaves you skint but whatever damage you have done financially can probably be put right in time. The solution is to stop gambling and to learn how to live one day at a time free of gambling.
Good luck and please be brave.