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Hi Chris Powerlessness over gambling, which is what you describe in your post, is a truly desperate and desolate place. Suicide often seems an attractive solution and is very much a measure of your current low. The truth is it can get worse, and often does, and can mean jail or institutionalisation.
One sure thing is that if you stop, it can’t get any worse. This does not mean they will suddenly get better but they shouldn’t get worse and in time they usually get better.
Stopping and staying stopped is our bugbear. I can understand your sense of elation at being stopped for one hour. I genuinely understand just how you feel …. I found it virtually impossible not to gamble when I could access money. So things like withdrawal limits on ATM machines were a blessing in disguise for me. But I was back at it the next day when I could draw out more money. I should add by means of an explanation that most of my gambling was done prior to the full blown use of the internet for gambling.
Stopping is the issue. I genuinely recommend getting to a GA or equivalent meeting. You will draw reassurance from listening to people sharing their misfortunes. You will draw hope from hearing how people have stopped and turned around their lives. You’ll also benefit from hearing less fortunate people who have stopped and gone back at it and stopped again and gone back at it and stopped again and again ….
I found meetings really helpful and have little doubt they made the difference for me. It’s difficult to explain but I don’t think you can stop on your own. We need help and support. Plus it works.
Good luck and I hope you can convert your hours into days, your days into weeks, your weeks into months and those into years. Let me assure this can be done.
I can understand why your inability to control your gambling might make you feel suicidal. Where gambling has brought you is, as I recall from my own experience, a truly lonely place – death can seem attractive compared to some of the other options ahead of you such as continuing to gamble and risking jail or the asylum.
You could also treat this journey as resulting from the gift of desperation. It’s doubtful whether you would be here seeking advice if you weren’t truly desperate. It’s my own personal experience that people like you and I need to experience absolute desperation before we can take any action to try to stop the process of total disintegration that accompanies compulsive gambling.
Please get to one of the various support groups that exist to help compulsive gamblers. I used Gamblers Anonymous and it’s a simple matter of walking in – no paperwork needed. You can find where your nearest meeting is online or by phoning their help line. Just go as an act if faith and of belief in yourself. Go with an open mind and the belief that you are worth a few hours of this support.
I found it a huge relief to meet my fellow travellers who understood what it is like to blow all your money, to steal from others, to borrow without any intention of repaying, to switch off from life in order to gamble. These guys talked about it including the guy who talked about his self-loathing about ‘taking’ money from his dead mother’s purse while she lay dead in her bed. As a class of people there is little we compulsive gamblers won’t stoop to in order to fund our addiction.
On the bright side, some sixteen years since my last gamble, I completed a two year employment contract today and got a two month completion bonus, a fresh two year contract starting from next month with a signing on bonus and a range of great benefits – return flights to the UK for my wife and two kids that I never had when I first showed at GA, health insurance, free schooling etc. My new boss told me she liked my ‘can do’ attitude!
I say this to assure you that there is hope for you and that I know of one certainty: your life will not get any worse if you don’t gamble.
You are not alone. Get to that meeting!
Молодець, DE, перешкоди на початку є важливими, і справа в тому, що … це стає все краще. Запевняю вас, найкраще ще попереду, для мене і для вас! Чудово!
Hästi tehtud DE, teetõkked on alguses hädavajalikud ja asi on selles … see läheb aina paremaks. Lubage mul teile kinnitada, parim on veel ees, minu ja teie jaoks! Imeline!
Jól tett DE, az akadályok elengedhetetlenek az elején, és ez a helyzet … ez folyamatosan javul. Biztosíthatlak benneteket, a legjobb még hátravan, számomra és értetek! Csodálatos!
Bravo DE, prepreke na cesti bitne su na početku i stvar je u tome … nastavlja se biti sve bolji. Uvjeravam vas, najbolje tek dolazi, za mene i za vas! Predivno!
Goed gedaan DE, wegversperringen zijn essentieel in het begin en het punt is dit … het wordt steeds beter. Laat me je verzekeren dat het beste nog moet komen, voor mij en voor jou! Prachtig!
Bravo DE, les barrages routiers sont indispensables au début et le truc c'est que ça ne cesse de s'améliorer. Laissez-moi vous assurer que le meilleur reste à venir, pour moi et pour vous ! Formidable!
Ben fatto DE, i blocchi stradali sono essenziali all'inizio e il fatto è questo… continua a migliorare. Vi assicuro che il meglio deve ancora venire, per me e per voi! Meraviglioso!
Well done DE, roadblocks are essential at the beginning and the thing is this … it keeps on getting better. Let me assure you, the best is yet to come, for me and for you! Wonderful!
Godt gjort DE, veisperringer er viktige i begynnelsen, og tingen er dette … det blir stadig bedre. La meg forsikre deg om at det beste er ennå, for meg og for deg! Herlig!
Goed gedaan darkenergy0138, ik hoop dat je diep blijft drinken van de vreugde dat je niet uit de hand loopt. Maar vergeet niet dat het jaren heeft geduurd om hier te komen, dus het is onwaarschijnlijk dat u binnen een paar dagen tot een oplossing zult komen; 30 dagen tot zes jaar een soort verhouding ding. Vroeger zei iemand tegen me: hey Portnoy nu je bent gestopt met gokken, zijn er drie situaties waarin je weer het meest kwetsbaar bent voor gokken: ten eerste als je echt gelukkig bent, ten tweede als je echt down bent …. en toen ik vroeg wat de derde situatie is, antwoordde hij elke andere keer tussen de hoogte- en dieptepunten. Ik ken een persoon die na 22 jaar weer op pad ging voor meer actie: hij kwam terug naar een GA-bijeenkomst vol zelfmedelijden en kreeg zonder pardon door de voorzitter te horen dat zijn probleem was dat hij de jaren begon te tellen en niet de dagen en hij werd eraan herinnerd dat hij de hele vergadering moest blijven en niet, zoals zijn gewoonte was, halverwege de pauze af te dwalen! Er is geen snelle oplossing voor deze waanzin. Werk er dagelijks aan en wees dankbaar voor elke periode van 24 uur die je kunt bereiken zonder te gokken. Veel geluk.
Hästi tehtud darkenergy0138, ma loodan, et te jätkate sügavalt joomist rõõmust, et te pole kontrolli all. Kuid ärge unustage, et teil kulus siia jõudmiseks aastaid, nii et tõenäoliselt ei jõua te lahendusteni mõne päevaga; 30 päeva kuni kuus aastat suhtarv. Keegi ütles mulle juba algusaegadel: hei Portnoy, nüüd olete hasartmängud lõpetanud, on kolm olukorda, kus olete hasartmängude suhtes kõige haavatavam: esiteks, kui olete tõeliselt õnnelik, teiseks, kui olete tõesti maas … ja kui ma küsisin, mis on kolmas olukord, vastas ta muul ajal tõusude ja mõõnade vahel. Ma tean üht indiviidi, kes läks 22 aasta pärast rohkem tegutsema: ta tuli tagasi üldkoosoleku koosolekule, mis oli täis enesehaletsust ja juhataja ütles talle tseremooniateta, et tema probleem on selles, et ta on hakanud loendama aastaid, mitte päeva ja talle tuletati meelde, et ta peaks jääma terveks koosolekuks ja mitte, nagu tal kombeks, poolel vaheajal maha kalduma! Sellele hullumeelsusele pole kiiret lahendust. Töötage sellega igapäevaselt ja olge tänulik iga 24 -tunnise perioodi eest, mille saate saavutada ilma hasartmängudeta. Edu.
Bravo darkenergy0138, nadam se da ćeš i dalje piti duboko od radosti što nisi izmakao kontroli. Ali ne zaboravite da su vam bile potrebne godine da dođete ovamo pa vjerojatno nećete doći do rješenja u pregršt dana; Odnos od 30 dana do šest godina. Netko mi je znao reći još u prvim danima: hej Portnoy, sada si prestao kockati, postoje tri situacije kada si opet najugroženiji od kockanja: prvo kad si stvarno sretan, drugo kad si stvarno pao …. i na moje pitanje koja je treća situacija odgovorio je bilo koji put između uspona i padova. Znam za jednog pojedinca koji se nakon 22 godine vratio na akciju: vratio se na sastanak Glavne skupštine prepun samosažaljenja, a stolica mu je besmisleno rekla da je njegov problem što je počeo brojati godine, a ne dana i podsjetili su ga da bi trebao ostati cijeli sastanak, a ne da se, kao što mu je to uobičajeno, odmaknuo na pola puta! Nema brzog rješavanja ovog ludila. Radite to svakodnevno i budite zahvalni na svakom razdoblju od 24 sata koje možete ostvariti bez kockanja. Sretno.
Браво darkenergy0138, надявам се да продължиш да пиеш дълбоко от радостта да не излезеш извън контрол. Но не забравяйте, че са ви отнели години, за да стигнете дотук, така че е малко вероятно да стигнете до решение след няколко дни; 30 дни до шест години нещо като съотношение. Някой ми казваше още в ранните дни: Здравей Портной сега, когато си спрял да играеш, има три ситуации, в които си най -уязвим към хазарта отново: първо, когато си наистина щастлив, второ, когато наистина си потънал …. и когато попитах каква е третата ситуация, той отговори друг път между върховете и спадовете. Познавам един индидуал, който се върна за повече действия след 22 години: той се върна на среща на Генерална Асамблея, изпълнена със самосъжаление, и от стола му беше казано безцеремонно, че проблемът му е, че е започнал да брои годините, а не дни и му беше напомнено, че трябва да остане за цялата среща, а не, както му беше навик, да се наклони на почивката по средата! Няма бърза корекция на тази лудост. Работете ежедневно и бъдете благодарни за всеки период от 24 часа, който можете да постигнете без хазарт. Късмет.