[Paul2017]

last week was one of my toughest week’s and I buried myself , rolled up into a ball and felt despair at what I had done with my life – I went to church again on Tuesday, found the courage to speak with the priest and asked if I could have some time with him, he said come back tomorrow!
I did, I did not get the answers I was looking for! I know that I am not going to find it in church – I know that I have another path, albeit with God , with Jesus and with our Virgin Mary… I was upset with the priest, his lack of time for me was depressing , particularly that his excuse was he needed to do his financial books – how ironic! for me that was ironic!!.. God works in mysterious ways but I will never lose the faith in him.

I was also told I would have to wait till April to go onto GMA. That was a thought I found hard to take but there was light – the light came from this site and talking with Monique – on Wednesday – she helped me, she enabled me to have patience, to accept my path is a long one, a hard one, a path that I needed to take step by step….

this week on Tuesday I received a call – a place at GMA became available and would I like to take it starting Monday 6th March – I said YES, definitely -> I want to change my life around, I want to make a better life, I want to enjoy the times with my daughter that I don’t at the moment because of my demon…. I need to think of me first, get this gambling horror out and put to bed and then I can concentrate on making things right with my lovely daughter…

I am very excited, I have been making preparations for Monday – I will make the most of the very fortunate opportunity – I will listen and learn – I WANT to have a GAMBLE FREE LIFE…. and I know it will take a lot of hard work – this is a horrible addiction, we all have to work really hard at this but this site has really helped me…

Love to all of you for helping me these last few weeks, thank you for your support, advice and just being there— you have saved me… even people I have not spoken to , reading their messages tell me I am not alone in this nightmare – I will come back in 14 weeks, I will change my life around and I will become a gamble free person… I know that GMA is not a cure but I need help, tools to put my demon to sleep and keep him sleeping forever…

Thank you Charles and Monique for all your Group hosting – they are and were excellent – you are a credit to this site and to helping CG’s like me….

Thank you my friends – May God be with you all and help us all …
Paul

[Paul2017]

thank you for all your posts in my journal – as a fellow CG I want to tell you that YOU have helped me, you have given me inspiration and YOU have motivated me that I can climb….

we all have challenges , we all have moments to wanting to gamble and I haven’t yet been able to hold onto that ladder or rope to pull me up but I am not falling deeper and that’s important – its slow , its really hard but I am not falling deeper… I know that I wont be cured but I can change ….

you may find it hard but I will say a prayer for you, so you can continue your journey of climbing …

bw
Paul

[Paul2017]

you are not alone and you can make your dreams come true… well done for acknowledging your a CG… we have the hardest task I think, out of all addictions but you can change, we can change… I am new too but want to tell you that you are not alone – the groups Charles talks about are really good – I try to get on one regularly than thinking about gambling – the people here know what it feels like!

your not alone…

Paul2017

[Paul2017]

I have enabled and I have been enabled all because of my desire to gamble….
the only way I must change is to acknowledge what I don’t want to do and do what I need to do
the only way to change is to learn from people that have already changed and listen to how they made that change – if you don’t then you wont change”

I need to act, not say, ACT –
1- online sites closed
2- tomorrow I will ban myself from local bookies

I CAN DO IT…

[Paul2017]

you are not alone, I wanted to tell that to you… I started on 5th feb – I have lost everything too – you will be able to read this in my journal – this is a brilliant place to help you get started and not only reading about people like us and what they have done to recover but also the groups are a good way for getting support and the actions we need to learn to address our demons… you have taken a great step

You can change , we can change and you are not alone in this quest for a gamble free life

bw
Paul

[Paul2017]

I am trying to learn about how I can stop and what it means to stop – reading messages on this site really helps and I am learning about what it means to stop – I read the below in a number of journals and liked it so much that I want to remind myself…. TO STOP =

It means that you love yourself enough to deal with life on life’s terms

It means you had the courage, strength and faith to find a path to a better way of living

It means that you can live a life without gambling and its better, much better….

It means you don’t want to throw away Love

It means your mindset has changed….

[Paul2017]

you are a CG mate, we do these things but you can change this habit – you are not alone – whatever the amount, you know you are going to lose because you cannot stop – I think this is the hardest thing for us to learn – you’re not listening to the people on here – ban yourself –

[Paul2017]

i appreciate your support …thank you

[Paul2017]

a tough time but not going to give up.

God please give me strength
God please give me patience
God please let me understand what i need to do to get on the right road to recovery…

[Paul2017]

I know where you are coming from – – the advice I was given is to ban yourself from the bookies – particularly your local ones – if you do that – then atleast your local temptation is gone and makes it harder

I haven’t been able to do that yet , but I am going too – I have done online

you CAN do it Monkey

[Paul2017]

” St Anthony, i resort to thy protection and aid. As proof of my affection and faith, i offer this light which shall burn every Tuesday. Comfort me in my difficulties and through the lodging in the House of my Saviour intercede for me and my family so that we may always hold God in our hearts and be provided for in our necessities.
I beseech thee St. Anthony to have infinite pity in regard to the favour I ask thee ( mention favour). Please help me overcome all difficulties I now leave at thy feet”.

I do not know why but when i left church yesterday evening i took the “novena to Saint Anthony” with me, they had lots of copies and thought i would want to say it again – i want to put this on here to remind me ! – and if anyone wants to know! – there is hope – WE can CHANGE OUR LIFE…

[Paul2017]

First time i ever went to get aide – a food bank – had to cycle 3 miles to get there but was so worth it – they were such lovely people – it made me cry – but i got some things to last a few days – they don’t do ciggys so i will have to think about giving up on that one

PS… thank you my fellow CG’s – you wont know how much your words do help me…x

[Paul2017]

a hard day but one that I found strange and hard – I was trying to pass the day – a bike ride into a local town – get my 1.20 out of the bank and maybe get something to eat – it was late in the day – got some hot cross buns for 20p – that was great – I cycled back a different route and for some reason I passed by my catholic church – I parked up and locked the bike – I wanted to pray – its was 6.15 – I didn’t know this – I am not a regular to church but there was a mass going to start – I noticed the altar boys getting ready – I thought I would wait! – I would join the mass….

it was a different kind of mass 0- a mass for Saint Anthony – it was the “Novena to Saint Anthony” – this miraculous saint grants everything, no matter how difficult and before the termination of the nine Tuesdays…. starting with today….

I prayed for help – I hope he can listen to my pain, difficulties and give me strength…

Strange I went in there today… God can help..x

[Paul2017]

Hi James,
you are not alone – I’m in a very similar scenario but this site does really help – it cant stop you from gambling but I find reading the messages gives me inspiration that WE CAN DO THIS…
you are not alone – all the helpers have been through what we are going through – keep coming back to this site… I am making it a daily routine when I sit at home in the night, knowing I want to gamble , but come here instead –
start the group sessions – they are brilliant…

You can change – we must believe we can change – we must make it a change for life…..

hope to hear from you.
Paul

[Paul2017]

I have closed all online accounts

I will delete all incoming emails – plus I will ask to be unsubscribe.
I will continue to unsubscribe
I will delete and have deleted all app icons on my laptop

[Author]

Posts