[mikeb]

103 days now! Waiting the 30/40 mins before I get paid so I can transfer my salary and xmas bonus into my dads account. Was a bit of a chore to try and figure out how many days I was gamble free so gonna stop counting the days now. Feeling fine. No urges to gamble recently nor with my wages imcoming. Far from out the woods yet though as I’m still finding comfort with the knowledge that gambling is there if I want it. Not a good thought process but it’s keeping me clean for now. Onwards and upwards folks!

[mikeb]

Evening all. 92 or 93 days now. One or the other. Feel proud I’ve got this far. More than half way to clearing my debt which is good. Aware of a lingering feeling that gambling is there for me in the future if I want it which is bad. It’s hard though. Holding on to that thought is keeping me from gambling but it cannot be good long term. Just trying to get my debt clear. I’ve came far enough now to have the confidence that I can keep going for another couple of months. Once I’m approaching the day when I’ll be debt free I need to have a long hard look at my thought process, financial barriers,etc to make sure they are adjusted for being in a different financial situation. Should be around Feb/March. Hope this helps anyone with a few days under their belt and may sound familiar to anyone who has been through a similar situation and could offer any advice for that time when it comes. Onwards and upwards!

[mikeb]

Hi. My situation was quite similar to yours. In June this year I was running up debts with various different people and companies. It was at the stage where I was due out about £8k and my salary was tied up for the next 6 months. I reached out to my father who agreed to clear my debt on the understanding that I would repay him a smaller amount over a longer period of time. As soon as he cleared my debt I started borrowing again and I was unable to make payments to him. This went on for a couple of months. I’m 70 days gamble free at the moment. I transfer my entire salary to my father each month now and he sends me money back when I need it, not just for essentials but for other things too. As long as my debt level is reducing.
I’m about 3 months away from being debt free. Sounds like the brother you live with could look after your money in this way. Without money, you can’t gamble so as long as you are completely transparent with the money you have access to it will really help. As far as gambling urges go…..I still have them but not as frequently or intensive as I did a couple of months ago. Only now am I beginning to try doing different things with my free time and expendable cash. Give up access to money and allow yourself some significant time for your head to clear and it should help. Take care!

[mikeb]

Just back from another 2 days residential therapy with Gordon Moody. 62 days without gambling now. Good to strenghthen that defensive wall over the last couple of days. Taken me a while to make the first steps to get out of the cage I’ve created for myself but gym induction this Sunday and got a dentist appointment booked mid Jan. Two dates in a calendar thats never been used…..

[mikeb]

Evening all, just a quick check in. 44 days without gambling now. No videos. No demo play. Starting to notice some positive changes in my thought process. Noticing the changes helps motivate me to continue. Day to day cash situation hasn’t improved much but I’ve managed to pay off a fair chunk of debt over the past month and a bit. Onwards and upwards. Have a good weekend all!

[mikeb]

SJC1 – In 25 years I’ve only ever really admitted to myself that I have a problem a handful of times. I have sought help only twice. So don’t be too hard on yourself. Being honest with yourself and your thoughts and feelings here really helps. It gets easier…

[mikeb]

18 days now gamble free. No videos or demo games. Support network is in place and is working. Still a tough few weeks to get by financially but hopeful that I will get there.

[mikeb]

Evening all. Just back from a 3 night residential stay with Gordon Moody. Not feeling great at the moment. I think the 3 days therapy has stripped away all of the gambling parts of me and without them there’s not much left so I feel a bit lost and empty. Important thing is to start rebuilding myself with new and positive pieces and to avoid rebuilding with the rubble lying around from what has just been broken down. Just going to take it one day at a time….

[mikeb]

Na, ketvirtadienį labai nukritau nuo vagono. Nenoriu gilintis į viską, pakanka pasakyti, kad jis ką tik išryškino, koks aš tikrai pasiklydau ir koks mano mąstymo sutrikimas. Dabar vėlus šeštadienio vakaras, o aš vis dar atsigaunu fiziškai ir psichiškai. Praėjusią savaitę turėjau padaryti porą dalykų, kurių nepadariau. Rytoj turiu sutvarkyti šiuos dalykus, kol jaučiuosi taip. Tiesiog noriu gerai išsimiegoti šiąnakt, o rytoj vakare vėl paskelbsiu.

[mikeb]

No, putosin vaunusta suurella tavalla torstaina. Älä todellakaan halua mennä sen yksityiskohtiin riittävän sanoa, että se on juuri korostanut kuinka todella hukassa olen ja kuinka sekava ajatteluni on. Nyt on lauantai -ilta ja olen toipumassa fyysisesti ja henkisesti. Pari asiaa olisi pitänyt tehdä viime viikolla, mitä en tehnyt. Minun täytyy saada nämä asiat paikoilleen huomenna, kun minulla on tällainen olo. Haluan vain nukkua hyvät yöunet ja postitan taas huomenna illalla.

[mikeb]

Bene, sono caduto dal carro alla grande giovedì. Non voglio davvero entrare nei dettagli, basti dire che ha appena evidenziato quanto io sia veramente perso e quanto sia incasinato il mio pensiero. È sabato sera tardi e mi sto ancora riprendendo fisicamente e mentalmente. Ci sono un paio di cose che avrei dovuto fare la scorsa settimana che non ho fatto. Devo sistemare queste cose domani mentre mi sento così. Voglio solo una buona notte di sonno stanotte e posterò di nuovo domani sera.

[mikeb]

Pa, u četvrtak sam jako pao s vagona. Ne želim ulaziti u to u detalje, dovoljno je reći da je upravo naglasilo koliko sam zaista izgubljen i koliko sam zabrljan u razmišljanju. Subota je kasno navečer i još se fizički i psihički oporavljam. Postoji nekoliko stvari koje sam trebao učiniti prošli tjedan, a nisam. Moram sutra postaviti ove stvari dok se ovako osjećam. Samo želim dobar noćni san, a sutra ću navečer ponovno objaviti.

[mikeb]

Well, I fell off the wagon in a big way on Thursday. Don’t really want to go into it in any detail suffice to say it has just highlighted how truly lost I am and how messed up my thinking is. It’s late Saturday night now and I’m still recovering physically and mentally. There’s a couple of things I should have done last week that I didn’t. I need to get these things in place tomorrow while I’m feeling like this. Just want a good nights sleep tonight and I’ll post again tomorrow evening.

[mikeb]

Просто швидка реєстрація …. Все ще немає азартних ігор, щоб повідомити, але я дійсно борюся. Я думаю про це з того моменту, як я прокинувся, і щодня це виглядає як … ось ми знову. Я фліп -флоп між тим, як вирішити грати в азартні ігри, і уникати цього по -своєму, протягом усього дня, і це втомлює. Цього тижня подивився одне або два відеоролики про азартні ігри … Я думаю, що це допомагає в короткостроковій перспективі, але я боюся, що це не добре в довгостроковій перспективі.

[mikeb]

Απλώς ένας γρήγορος έλεγχος …. Ακόμα δεν υπάρχει τζόγος για αναφορά, αλλά δυσκολεύομαι πραγματικά. Είναι στο μυαλό μου από τη στιγμή που ξυπνάω και κάθε μέρα είναι σαν …. εδώ πάμε ξανά. Αναποδογυρίζω την απόφαση να παίξω στοίχημα και το να μείνω μακριά σε όλη τη διάρκεια της ημέρας και είναι κουραστικό. Έχετε δει ένα ή δύο βίντεο τυχερών παιχνιδιών αυτήν την εβδομάδα … Νομίζω ότι βοηθάει βραχυπρόθεσμα, αλλά φοβάμαι ότι δεν είναι καλό μακροπρόθεσμα.

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