[maverick.]

Lizbeth it’s always a pleasure to read your posts, sounds like you have been keeping busy with those yard sales great work, life is stressful and not having enough money to pay the bills is very stressful, we just have to look at the bigger picture and take time to think, we will be OK my friend I promise you that!

Gambling has taken alot from us and in truth it takes lives, keep staying strong, positive and safe, that RV sounds like a wonderful idea…….please pick me up on the way!

Good luck on the job interview tomorrow and remember just be you what’s meant to be will be, finally please do me one favour today, after reading this go and sit or lie down put some soothing music on and close your eyes for 10 mins and think of that nice beach with you and your husband holding hands…………….you know he is always with you my friend, take care Lizbeth and will always wish you well.

Maverick 

[maverick.]

Kathryn, Lizbeth, Laura, Micky, Charles and all thank you for your posts, kind words and me being in your thoughts, I haven’t gambled since my last post……however my 38 year old wife fell very ill, just a normal cold and ear infection turned into septicemia…….that wasn’t picked up on 3 hospital visits in the space of 24 hours……she is and has been in a really bad way, according to the consultant if I hadn’t got her seen to when I did she would have been dead within 2 hours………..still in a right mess and in truth everything life is a bloody nightmare………being honest I would rather be gambling like a **** and everything else was ok but hey life is a strange one isn’t it, thank you all for your help and support, just wanted to let you know I am still breathing…..just about, take care and love to you all, will try and share soon.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Last day gambled 15/01/2018.

I have taken evertrhing back to basics, I have handed over all roads to access cash so from here on in I dont have any access something I did before (and it worked) just over time I slowly took control back and as proven it doesnt work me having access to money…….I am too compulsive and kamakazi at times just dont no why but thats not important I dont need to know why I do it but at least I know I do it.

I have closed every door bar 1 with regards places I can gamble within a 10 mile radius……..I will find some passport photos tonight and drive to that last place tomorrow in my lunch to self exclude……….being totaly honest with myself and you all I tried before to self exclude from this place and there response was (I cant find the book!!!!! )This happened twice I will not take no for an answer tomorrow because this was my only (comfortable place left to gamble) meaning once I self exclude from this last place I am much more less likley to drive over 10 miles to somewhere I dont know or havent gone into before……I am a creature of habbit and like the same places.

Anyway been working my socks off this morning and trying to get into a great frame of mind……..I will get there……just need to work out yet another payment plan to sort out debts and stick to it.

Just for today I am not going to gamble because I am sick and tired off it and really cant be bothered with it anymore.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Sherrie trust me people do care, this gambling life kills us, destroys us and in truth just isnt really us, I know when I gamble I am not the true me……..please keep sharing Sherrie its the only way we get better, take care and look after you!

Maverick

[maverick.]

Thanks all for your kind words and support……you really all are a wonderful group of people…..Kathryn I just love your post and was rolling over laughing……and yes it was just some cold gel and in truth the two women who were doing it were really nice, kind, genuine people……anyway we will see!

Being total honest as I always am I gambled today……my fault no one else to blame as always but yes I gambled……didnt have to but did…….will I ever learn who knows!!!!

Thanks again all for you taking the time to post on my thread and all I know is tomorrow will be better…….I promise that.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Sherrie my friend I am so sorry to hear you are struggling and being very honest I am still the very same, I cant lie it has been a really tough long hard day but when I saw your post I just had to respond, you truley are a great women and I cant even recall the year we first meet I would guess 2013 but hey thats not important, just wanted to say I do really care and have thought about you often and how you were doing, it was only the other night I sat there and remembered the night we were on the GA online meeting and your computer crashed……you called me and I mumbled through things until you got back on lol, you are a loving person you just have a evil addiction like many of us, keep fighting my friend and never give in, you are a great person Sherrie even if you dont think it…..trust me I know you well….

Take care my friend I have to shoot………..need to sort some major issues of my own, hope to hear from you very soon, your friend always.

Maverick

[maverick.]

So here it is I haven’t gambled for about 3 weeks well not exactly 3 weeks but hey I am not counting days anymore as its pointless.

Christmas was really nice (for the family) they had what they wanted, got what they needed and all was good like always in life I felt something was missing but hey I am a husband and farther and need to look after my wife and children and that I did.

New year was new year I don’t see it in anymore as not trying to be a grumpy bugger but they are all the bloody same……..I tried to get into a great mind set and then the week before new year found a lump and a crippling pain in my nether regions……………happy days and happy new year…….anyway after a lot of doctors and hospital appointments I have a final scan tomorrow……….now for most 41 year old men dropping your trousers for a scan would be a little embarrassing but since I was 14 years old I have been dropping my trousers and not because I have been a stripper but because I have had about 10 major operations in the last 25 years…..however being a stripper has come to mind many times because the way I gamble money away I always look at a quick income………anyway enough of the jokes as it doesn’t become me!

I am plodding on……working my bollocks off (while I still have two) and looking after the family, I don’t know really not that happy in life at the moment but who is when they owe every man and is dog including the Russia Mafia……..all my own doing so please don’t judge…..as the saying goes I have made my bed and now I will lie in it……….but guess what it is not fu@king comfy, sorry for the foul language (I did but the @ in) I am told it is down to a small vocabulary and in truth I know that to be so very true.

Anyway that’s me for now and I will update tomorrow, as always wish you all well my friends, only the individual knows what ones going through but others can help!!!

Take care all and never give in!

Maverick

[maverick.]

Kin, I did it and everyone before thankyou for your posts and support on my thread, it means a lot to me and thank you for taking the time to post and share.

[maverick.]

Monicau, I have been reading through your thread and just wanted to send you my very best, life can be tough at times and we just have to keep fighting on, wish you my very best and hope you are keeping well.

Maverick

[maverick.]

3raser, hope life is treating you fair, like you rightly say this addiction destroys us but never the less we unite together to help each other………..so guess what that doesn’t make us bad people that makes us good people with a very bad addiction, really do hope you are keeping well and wish you all the very best in your recovery and life.

Take care and stay strong.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Micky, always good to see you around brother keep sharing my friend no matter what…..good or bad you know this is the place to be, take care and wish u well.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Alliesmum, I have just been reading through your posts and really glad you have found GT, this addiction takes everything as I am sure you well know, it destroys lives and doesn’t give it a second thought, I like what you share about the coin and I am a strong believer everything happens for a reason, also I shouldn’t say it as will probably get in trouble with some but in truth no one understands a compulsive gambler apart from a compulsive gambler, keep fighting on and staying strong you are doing fantastic and I know how hard 7 days gamble free is you are doing fantastic, keep up the great effort and keep sharing, people make places never forget that…….you are one of those people.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Kin my friend, we do what we do….although we don’t know we do it, we still do it although we don’t want too, is it because we are bad or is it because it is sin living in us and we know not what we do!!

Stay strong my friend and keep fighting, always nice to see you around and read your posts, thankyou for your ongoing support over the years and I hope you can find happiness in your life as deep down I know you will.

Take care and all my very best.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Jonny great job buddy, keep up the wonderful effort as you well know its never worth going back…….just a trip down the same road we have been down so many times and also as you well know the end of that road always has the same ending!!!

Take care my friend and my very best to you.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Lizbeth please my friend hold on to that little spark and never go into complete darkness, I am so sorry I haven’t posted to you for a while I have just been struggling myself and in truth also been in complete darkness and really struggling to find any light or any spark, but you are so very right there always is and please never forget that.

I understand when you say there seems to be know connection with certain people and I find it the same no one really seems to know me……….know what I want…….what I need…..what I am about……….but hey keep fighting my friend please.

So now onto the calming side after my panic rant lol, just take a step back and look out a window or yet again go for a walk, walk or look slow Lizbeth not quick or fast…….look at silly things like trees, flowers……birds……..water…….I strongly believe there is something in everything………..I don’t want to upset you by saying the wrong thing but your husband is in all those things……………because he is around you always close by I have always felt and believed the people we loved who have passed from the world are still so very close to us, I cant share everything I know on here because people will just think I am weird (more weird than they think I am now lol) but I promise you Lizbeth with regards to certain things I know more than most and that’s all I can say.

Lizbeth I love seeing you around and always love reading your posts just so very sad at times to see you struggle so much, I have a scan tomorrow and in truth I know its not going to be great as I know my own body, but hey I am 41 years old and in fairness I have enjoyed my life very much…..probably too much to be fair lol………..and there is two ends of the spectrum here……..grandma in law is 92 and still fighting on and my friends daughter 4 years old and struggling to survive a really bad situation……whatever happens I know I am very lucky.

Lizbeth you are a wonderful women and I am so very happy to know you, please don’t reply today I know it takes a lot of energy at times but please just read…………..relax and enjoy…….breath the fresh air outside your door and relax……contemplate life but please don’t regret……..we all do what we do and in truth if I had my time again I would do exactly the say…………am I stupid most probably but hey whos perfect.

Lizbeth my friend my thoughts and heart are with you, keep smiling and most of all please never give in!

Your friend always.

Maverick

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