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Sending some support your way, whatever you need my friend!
I understand the live to work work to live statement, my doctors at work, they live to work, all consuming, all the time, and a lot of them expect us nurses to live by the same mantra. Me, I work to live! They make so much money, more money in a month than I make in a year….but…. I would not, for one second, want it if it meant I had to work like they do. Life is for living, work just makes us able to pay the bills and live the life we choose, whatever that is.
I’m sorry about your parents, it’s just bloody awful isn’t it. My mum, her mind is just about gone, her body is holding up pretty well but what good is an empty shell? What quality of life? It’s cruel, getting old. In saying that, I am grateful to have my old, beautiful mother to talk to, to touch, to cuddle. She doesn’t know me, but I know her and that’s what matters. Anyway, what started as me sending you a bit of love turned into a bit of a messy post!
So I’ll finish with…..my friend, this too shall pass.
Love K xxxIt’s lovely to see your name on the forum again.
Congratulations on your year….a big WOOOHOOOO!!!!!
I don’t know if life gets any easier when we stop gambling, there’s still life to live and all that comes with it.
But, to be present in the moment, to have a clear head, to be able to think clearly, wow, it’s worth its weight in gold!
To tackle problems head on, to not feel the fear that gambling brings, to feel like a real person again.
Be proud of yourself! You are brilliant!!!!!
Love K xxxxWe’ve all been there, as time passes you’ll feel batter and better. If you can get any other barriers up do it now.
I’m happy to read that your finding positives in your life and a simple cup of coffee can be the best!!!!! I drink waaaay too much myself, proboably 8 cups a day but I love it!!!
So keep that positive attitude! And have a great day!
Love K xxxI’ve posted this many times so now I’m posting it to you, there’s a word, HALT- hungry, angry,lonely,tired. When I first started here someone (I think it was Laura) posted it to me and it’s stuck, whenever I had a bad urge in the early days I would think of those words, and usually it was one of them that was causing the urge. I know what you mean about your son, they just seem to drift off and start doing their own things…..you can be lonely in a room full of people! Time to start looking around for something for you!!! Like Lizbeth said, we need to love ourselves a little more. Gambling is one of the most isolating addictions I think, we get used to being ‘alone’ with our machine.
I hope you are feeling better, imagine how crappy you would feel if you gambled, that’s one of the lowest feelings I know!
Love K xxxWhat a great feeling! You should be proud of yourself!
We all have suffered terrible loss due to gambling and it’s not just monetary!
Whenever you dwell on your loss, think about what you have gained! Your life! Your sanity! Your self worth and self esteem! You can put a dollar amount on that!
Keep working at it, you’re doing great!
Love K xxxHow are you?
I hope you are feeling a bit better and are putting some things in place to help your recovery.
Its hard to accept the losses. They are never coming back. It doesn’t matter what we win/won, it is never ever enough.
All the money does is ensure we can gamble longer. Winning in the end is a non issue.
I hope to hear from you soon.
Love K xxJust checking in on you. How are things going?
Have you done anything to aid your recovery?
I hope you are well, drop us a line when you get time.
Love KxxI can only agree with the great advice Kstep has given you.
Our secrets keep us sick.
Gambling will take everything from you.
You found this site, its a great step. Reaching out for help isn’t easy.
Can your family take care of your finances for a while? Give you some breathing space. No money = no gambling. You need support. Find the person in your family who understands that just stopping doesn’t work. Ask for help. Tell them to stop giving you money (enabling), it does not help the cg one little bit, no matter how much you beg and cry, yell or scream.
The only one who can truly work your recovery is you. In saying that, you are not alone in this.
Looking forward to reading more from you,
Love K xxYou sound like me.
I did lose my house….it can happen!!!!!
Thankfully my husband chose not to kick me out, I told him everything. I have never ever been so sick in my life. It was the absolute worst. I had told my best friend first and she gave me the courgage to do it.
So…what can you do right now?
Tell your husband. I know, sounds horrific. You need him to help you. He needs to take control of your finances, you cannot have access to cash right now. Brutal truth is what is needed. Because if you keep going on this road, it will be too late. Tell him everything. If you go over to the friends and family forum you will see, while the money is an issue, its the lies that is the worst thing.
Exclusion. I’m not sure what you gamble on, but I know for me, exclusion was a great decision. Ban from every online gambling site (betfilter or gamblock are good ones I’m told), I’m a slot girl so I liked to go to the venue, I have never gambled online, so I excluded from everywhere within a 2 hour drive.
Read and post, use this site, it is wonderful. Use the groups, talk to others, get advice and use it!!!
I gambled hard for 15 years. I joined this site in 2011. I took every bit of advice, went to GA (wasn’t for me), excluded, gave control of the house and money to my husband, became accountable for every cent I spent. In 6 years I have gambled maybe 6 times. Always when my exclusion ran out, I gave myself means and opportunity. I know I cant gamble…..ever. But for today I wont, and that’s all that matters right now.
You can live a gamble free life. I know how all consuming it is, the sick feeling in your gut, the panic on how you are going to feed your family, pay the bills, buy presents for xmas and birthdays. It is soul destroying.
You can do this, you are not alone.
Take care, Love K xxI wish you well!!!
You sound so positive and upbeat, I loved reading your last post.
There is nothing like GM in Australia that I know of, so take every opportunity, use every resource, make the absolute most of your stay there.
I will be looking out for your post when you get out!
Take care (don’t get too hairy!!!!)
Love K xxxI’m with you!!!!!!
Every day gamble free is a good day!
It sucks out your soul and spits you out!
Life is too short my friend!
Love K xxHeres how I see it.
You will never beat this problem forever. Not unless you work recovery every day.
I gave all access to money to my husband, if I needed to buy something and I used the card I would bring home the receipt to prove what I spent.
Sounds childish I know. It was MY decision to do this because I knew I couldn’t trust myself with access to our money.
I had been the bill payer in the house, the ‘money’ person. It was difficult for my husband, after all, I had just told him about our gambling debt (we had to sell our house), then, I gave him all the responsibility. But I simply could not do it and in truth, I didn’t want to.
Fast forward about a year, I got my keycard back (still made myself accountable for all I spent) and now I’m back controlling the finances. It took time, but I did it for me. I didn’t want to think about money. I had excluded so I couldn’t go and gamble, I took away every resource I had to gamble, and I work my recovery.
Why do you feel the need to prove yourself right now?
Why give yourself any opportunity to fall back.
Time is what is needed, to rebuild your life, to start living, and gambling will no longer play that role it once did. Doesn’t mean that it ever goes away. I think, for me, it just becomes easier to deal with those little urges.
In the end, its your recovery. This is what worked for me and I am grateful every single day.
Whatever you decide, you are always supported!
Have a great evening,
Love K xxI just finished vegemite on toast for breakfast! Delish!!!!
I’m glad you told your mum, it is so hard for others to understand, you need to remember that. People say, well, just stop!!!!
If it was that easy there would be no need for this site!!!!!!!
I am just wondering about your pay. Do you have easy access to that money? The start of recovery is always the hardest, and ensuring you cant have access to cash can really help. No money = no gambling.
Maybe you could ask your mum to help if you feel that its too tempting, give her your keycard, ask her to give you a small daily allowance and have no access to your money? Just a thought.
Exercise is great, not only does it keep you busy but it gets your endorphins going to give you a little exercise ‘high’. Anything is better than nothing and we all have to start somewhere so push ups are brilliant!!! (I doubt I could do 1!!!)
You have a great day,
Love K xxTruer words have never been spoken!
Let that guard down and it will seize the opportunity.
Over 8 years since stopping and its still there, that sneaky little thought. I doubt it will ever leave me.
All I can do is ensure that barriers are up. Recognising when the urges come helps too.
I was once told about HALT. Hungry, angry, lonely, tired.
Its amazing just how many times, during an urge I thought of that word and realised it was one of those things that was giving me the urges.
Food for thought? Its a good one to have in the back of your mind if you ever find yourself in that situation.
Take care,
Love K xxxWelcome,
I hope you use this site as much as you need. Its amazing how support from others who know helps.
Do you have anyone you could talk to…..tell them what is happening, ask them to help you with your money?
What about GA? Is there one in your area?
Take as much help as you can, you need it right now.
Gambling only causes us misery.
You can have a life free from it.
Take care, Love K xx