[kathryn]

Sve sam propustio! Malo sam u funku od svog putovanja. Bilo mi je jako teško vratiti se u svoju normalnu rutinu i žao mi je, čini se da ste prošli kroz mnogo toga, a ja nisam bio ovdje da vas podržim. Ali ….. evo me sad. Nerealna očekivanja ….. priča mog života. Proveo sam život razočaran, slomljenog srca, tužan, lud, kako god. Nikada nisam mogao razumjeti zašto bi se ljudi prema meni ponašali na određeni način, jer se ja nikada ne bih tako ponašao prema njima. Nisam puno naučio, i još uvijek se borim s ovim, ali ono što sam naučio je jedina osoba koju mogu promijeniti ja, i ja sam vlasnik svoje sreće. To je donekle pomoglo i sve sam bolji u tome. Drago mi je što ćete se savjetovati i iskreno želim da vam to pomogne pronaći ono što vam je potrebno da biste bili sretni u ovom životu. Ljubav K xxx

[kathryn]

私はすべてを逃しました！私は旅行以来少しファンクになっています。通常のルーチンに戻るのは非常に難しいと感じました。申し訳ありませんが、あなたは非常に多くのことを経験しているようで、私はあなたをサポートするためにここにいませんでした。しかし…..ここに私は今います。非現実的な期待…..私の人生の物語。私は自分の人生をがっかりし、悲しみ、悲しみ、怒りに満ちて過ごしてきました。私は彼らをそのように扱うことは決してないので、なぜ人々が私を特定の方法で扱うのか理解できませんでした。私はあまり学んでおらず、まだ苦労していますが、私が学んだのは私だけであり、私は自分自身の幸せの所有者です。これはある程度助けになりました、そして私はそれで良くなっています。あなたがカウンシルに参加してくれてうれしいです、そしてそれがあなたがこの人生で幸せになるために必要なものを見つけるのに役立つことを心から願っています。 Kxxxが大好き

[kathryn]

Brakowało mi wszystkiego! Od czasu mojej podróży trochę się boję. Bardzo trudno mi było wrócić do normalnej rutyny i przepraszam, wygląda na to, że przeszedłeś strasznie dużo i nie było mnie tutaj, aby cię wspierać. Ale…tutaj jestem teraz. Nierealistyczne oczekiwania… historia mojego życia. Spędziłem życie będąc zawiedzionym, złamanym sercem, smutnym, szalonym, co tylko chcesz. Nigdy nie mogłem zrozumieć, dlaczego ludzie traktowali mnie w określony sposób, ponieważ nigdy bym ich tak nie traktował. Niewiele się nauczyłem i nadal z tym walczę, ale to, czego się nauczyłem, to jedyna osoba, którą mogę zmienić, to ja i jestem właścicielem własnego szczęścia. To do pewnego stopnia pomogło i jestem w tym coraz lepszy. Cieszę się, że wybierasz się na poradnictwo i naprawdę życzę, aby pomogło ci to znaleźć to, czego potrzebujesz, aby być szczęśliwym w tym życiu. Miłość K xxx

[kathryn]

Aš pasiilgau visko! Nuo kelionės buvau šiek tiek pasimetęs. Man buvo labai sunku grįžti į įprastą rutiną ir atsiprašau, atrodo, kad išgyvenai siaubingai daug, o aš nebuvau čia, kad tave palaikyčiau. Bet ….. čia aš dabar. Nerealūs lūkesčiai ….. mano gyvenimo istorija. Aš praleidau savo gyvenimą būdamas nusivylęs, suskaudęs širdį, liūdnas, pamišęs, kaip tu pavadinsi. Niekada negalėjau suprasti, kodėl žmonės su manimi elgiasi tam tikru būdu, nes aš niekada su jais taip nesielgsiu. Aš daug ko neišmokau ir vis dar kovoju su tuo, bet tai, ką išmokau, esu vienintelis žmogus, kurį galiu pakeisti, tai aš, ir aš esu savo laimės savininkas. Tai tam tikru mastu padėjo, ir aš vis geriau tai darau. Džiaugiuosi, kad ketinate konsultuotis, ir nuoširdžiai linkiu, kad tai padėtų jums rasti tai, ko jums reikia, kad būtumėte laimingi šiame gyvenime. Meilė K xxx

[kathryn]

Wow I loved that last post, that walk of shame I remember it all too well. Glancing sideways at people you have never seen sure in the fact that they KNOW! Not making eye contact with anyone, god forbid someone talks to you…..I remember it like yesterday and thank you so much for reminding me, that kind of pain/fear/anxiety diminishes over time.
I’m obviously not self excluded in the USA, but I have the best barrier of all…..my best friend Jodie who has been through my addiction with me, watching from the sidelines and who was amazing when my world came crashing down.
Anyway, I wanted to give you a big fat woohoo for your 3 weeks. We are never cured but 3 weeks of not gambling today is just awesome!
Take care, love K xxx

[kathryn]

Woohoo on your day 9 ! Every day without a bet is a good day!
I’m sorry you encountered a negative person.
I know after I stopped gambling for a while I was very over zealous in my responses. The truth was, I felt amazing and free and wanted everyone else to feel that way too! I used to think, if only they could feel how I feel they wouldn’t ever want to gamble again! It was almost euphoric, because for the previous 15 years I felt like a useless worthless excuse for a person, wife, mother, and I felt the real me was beginning to emerge!
Sounds so romantic doesn’t it? Lol
Anyway, I guess people have different ways of communicating and you did the very right thing by just getting out of there and not engaging. We all do recovery differently. What works for some doesn’t work for others.
My philosophy is, take what you need from each person, or post, and move forward. Don’t let others bring you down, you are doing what you need to and it’s working!
I hope you are having a nice weekend, you are doing great my friend!
Love K xxxxx

[kathryn]

I read your post on Lizbeths thread, what beautiful kind words. I feel you need to hear those words yourself.
I know you are going through a rough time. Life is rough. No two ways about it. Gambling multiplys it by a million.
I know you’re a good person, You can’t control how others think, or judge for that matter. This I have learnt!!! The beauty of getting older is that you seem to care less and less what others think and I really love that!
Man, I just wanted to give you some support, don’t be too hard on yourself, us CG’s are our own worst enemy!
Take care friend, love K xxx

[kathryn]

In regards to your rambling, I have 8 years worth on this site , don’t ever think you can’t post how you are feeling, what you may think is rambling is just true and honest thoughts and feelings and writing them down gets them out of your head.
I agree with Charles, look into residential if that’s what you really want to do, it doesn’t hurt to enquire! I don’t know how bad things need to be to get in, but if it’s affecting your life this much………
I’m glad you are attending GA. every bit of support will help!
Take care of yourself, don’t worry about cars and clothes and perfume, sleep however is pretty important, maybe try to get that down pat.
Love K xxx

[kathryn]

You’re right, there’s no thought, just action and damn the consequences. How many times I would spend everything, no money for groceries, feed the family on a dime, couldn’t even buy my kids a rotten ice cream!
Gambling takes everything, and all around it suffer!
Keep making that good choice.
Love L xx

[kathryn]

Get your barriers up, use this site, GA, exclusion to help you!
Do it while you feel low, life is for living, not for wasting away at a gambling venue.
Keep reading and posting, the advice I received here saved my life!
Take care, K xx

[kathryn]

You’re not wrong!
And not gambling is one less thing!
Well done!
Love K xx

[kathryn]

A year! That’s brilliant!
Keep it up, that little monster likes to rear its head when we least expect it!
Love K xxx

[kathryn]

You’re still breathing and doing what you need to, be it in a state of shock and numbness! Just keep doing those things you need to for now, don’t look too far forward and if you can ( the most difficult thing) don’t look back.
8 years ago, when I found this site, I took all advise given to me, put up every barrier I could, posted and lived on this site constantly, spent hours and hours talking to Harry on the helpline (there were only 2 of them back then) and I have to say, without that, I don’t know where I would be. I had to sell my home to cover my gambling debts, it was a devastating time in my life, and I truly thought I was going to be left with nothing.
I guess my point is that every single little bit of help, support, advice is valuable.
Do as much as you can, no excuses, and ensure this doesn’t happen again.
You deserve so much more than what gambling gives.
Take care, love K xxx

[kathryn]

I felt your pain oozing through that post and all I thought was, I want to make you a cuppa.
That feeling, that God awful gut wrenching heart smashing feeling.
Gambling is the most revolting, soul destroying addiction , its silent and sneaky, it chews you up and spits you out.
There’s nothing I can say that you haven’t already said to yourself.
Yes it’s set you back, but it hasn’t beaten you.
You made the call
You posted here
You aren’t alone
One day, one hour, one minute at a time my friend.
Love K xxx

[kathryn]

No money=no gambling
It’s a barrier that works.
Where are you getting the funds to gamble?
Get barriers up now, go to GA as Charles suggests, tell your mum everything and that you don’t want cash, it’s just too dangerous.
You say life will have no pleasure if you don’t have gambling in it.
What has gambling done other than make you miserable?
Life is for living, and when you stop gambling your head will clear, and you will find other things to fill your time .
Take care, K xx

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