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Your story reminds me of me to a “T”…. I would suggest you get in front of this with your new wife. I too am “newly” married. For the first year my wife was aware I gambled, but never to the extent… Then the debts were not able to be hidden anymore, and the truth came out… I almost lost my best friend and soulmate because I was lying to her for the first year of our marriage.
We sought counseling, which was incredibly important, because it was the only way she could see my issue through a non judgemental eye. The counseling worked once I allowed it to. I have been 4 months gamble free. She understands, as much as she can, and I am working on getting better every day…
It just takes the effort, and the thoughts of not gambling one day at a time.It is not cut and dry…nor is it easy to quit… but you have to start sometimes.. Read other forums and follow the blocking software steps for online gambling. This is an incredibly slippery slope to be able to gamble at the click of a button, it should never have been so easy. The losses will mount, and the self esteem will continue to break if you keep doing the same things.
You have to want to quit, and take the appropriate actions.
I wish you the best of luck, and my only advice is to read the forums, maybe participate in chat.. you are not alone!!Lizbeth,
There are always struggles to enter our mind and make us not think clearly. Your loss of you husband is a terrible thing and I hope you can find your way through this memory. Definitely think before you act. Gambling can cause much more sadness than is already present… Take a deep breath, and remember the good times with your husband!
God bless! Stay strong
Johnny BLizbeth,
There are always struggles to enter our mind and make us not think clearly. Your loss of you husband is a terrible thing and I hope you can find your way through this memory. Definitely think before you act. Gambling can cause much more sadness than is already present… Take a deep breath, and remember the good times with your husband!
God bless! Stay strong
Johnny BIsn’t it nice to have each of you gamble free days become a blur? I know for me I am at 4 months and change… I am glad I don’t remember the exact date, because for me I don’t want gambling to have ever been important enough to elicit an exact date of quitting. Part of me finds it easier not to miss if I am not counting the exact days!
You have done well, and I applaud your input on everybody else. You are a great person who deserves great things!
Keep up the good work, see you on chat!As much as I hate to admit it, I was in the exact place Kin just described. There was never a time that I got a loan to “help” me that I didn’t squeak some, if not most of it to feed the gambling urge. The quick win is always so close!!! (yeah right!) How about the emotional devastation that follows a loss of money that you shouldn’t be using in the first place…or possibly psycologically worse is getting a run, winning some, but then pissing it away. Praying for a good win and blowing it again….Living with that misery, no thank you.
Maybe this is “rock bottom” and a very good point to start figuring out how to move forward. It might seem, but is not, impossible!Jonas,
I think what you just presented is very profound. The thought that a big win to fix it all is “possible” does drive my addiction. I have had times where I controlled my losses to say $60 a session. Over the course of months I still lost thousands. Many times I discussed with myself, what if I quit every time I was up $60. I know it might be a gamblers fallacy, but I swear that I am winning at least $60 at some point at least 80% of the time, but the problem is I didn’t quit, until I lost my money.
I would agree, if all forms of gambling were to disappear, I think it would be easier to accept that it is gone, and move on, but, as it stands, the temptress is just a pull away.
I would also argue that anybody who gambles regularly has a gambling issue. By regularly I would say, maybe weekly, using money from any pay period on a regular basis. The only truly “responsible” gamblers (in my mind) would be someone who goes to Las Vegas maybe once a year, and doesn’t play anytime other than that. Once they put casinos in my back yard, I was screwed, as well as many, many others.
This is a worldwide site. And at any given time in a chat room there are maybe 4 people…This is a disease that quietly eats at, and kills the soul. Evil…Pure Evil. But just like anything else “we shouldn’t do” it is fun, and exciting….and addicting!
Thanks for the post
Johnny BJonas, mislim da je ovo što si upravo predstavio jako duboko. Pomisao da je veliki dobitak da se sve popravi "moguće" pokreće moju ovisnost. Imao sam trenutaka u kojima sam kontrolirao svoje gubitke da kažem 60 USD po sesiji. Tijekom mjeseci i dalje sam izgubio tisuće. Mnogo sam puta razgovarao sam sa sobom, što ako odustanem svaki put kad sam imao 60 dolara. Znam da bi to mogla biti zabluda kockara, ali kunem se da u nekom trenutku osvajam barem 60 USD barem 80% vremena, ali problem je što nisam odustao, sve dok nisam izgubio novac. Složio bih se, ako bi svi oblici kockanja nestali, mislim da bi bilo lakše prihvatiti da je nestalo i nastaviti dalje, ali, kako sada stoji, zavodnica je samo korak dalje. Također bih rekao da svatko tko se redovito kocka ima problema s kockanjem. Redovito bih rekao, možda tjedno, koristeći novac iz bilo kojeg razdoblja plaćanja redovito. Jedini zaista "odgovorni" kockari (po mom mišljenju) bio bi netko tko odlazi u Las Vegas možda jednom godišnje, a ne igra ništa drugo osim toga. Kad su mi stavili kockarnice u stražnje dvorište, bio sam sjeban, kao i mnogi, mnogi drugi. Ovo je web mjesto u cijelom svijetu. A u bilo kojem trenutku u chat sobi ima možda 4 osobe … Ovo je bolest koja tiho izjeda i ubija dušu. Zlo … Čisto zlo. No, kao i sve drugo "ne bismo trebali učiniti" zabavno je, uzbudljivo … i stvara ovisnost! Hvala na postu Johnny B
Jonas, acho que o que você acabou de apresentar é muito profundo. O pensamento de que uma grande vitória para consertar tudo é "possível" impulsiona meu vício. Já tive ocasiões em que controlei minhas perdas para dizer $ 60 por sessão. Com o passar dos meses, ainda perdi milhares. Muitas vezes eu discutia comigo mesmo, o que aconteceria se eu desistisse toda vez que estivesse com $ 60 acima. Sei que pode ser uma falácia do jogador, mas juro que estou ganhando pelo menos $ 60 em algum momento pelo menos 80% das vezes, mas o problema é que não desisti até perder meu dinheiro. Eu concordaria, se todas as formas de jogo desaparecessem, acho que seria mais fácil aceitar que ele se foi e seguir em frente, mas, do jeito que está, a tentadora está apenas a um puxão. Eu também diria que qualquer pessoa que joga regularmente tem um problema de jogo. Regularmente, eu diria, talvez semanalmente, usando o dinheiro de qualquer período de pagamento em uma base regular. Os únicos jogadores verdadeiramente "responsáveis" (na minha opinião) seriam alguém que vai a Las Vegas talvez uma vez por ano e não joga em outra hora que não seja essa. Depois que colocaram cassinos no meu quintal, eu estava ferrado, assim como muitos, muitos outros. Este é um site mundial. E em um determinado momento em uma sala de bate-papo há talvez 4 pessoas … Essa é uma doença que silenciosamente devora e mata a alma. Mal … Puro mal. Mas, como qualquer outra coisa "não devemos fazer", é divertido e excitante … e viciante! Obrigado pelo post Johnny B
Йонас, я думаю, что то, что вы только что представили, очень важно. Мысль о том, что все исправить «возможно», действительно разжигает мою зависимость. У меня были времена, когда я контролировал свои потери, говоря 60 долларов за сессию. В течение нескольких месяцев я все равно потерял тысячи. Я много раз обсуждал сам с собой, что, если я уйду каждый раз, когда у меня будет 60 долларов. Я знаю, что это может быть заблуждение игроков, но я клянусь, что в какой-то момент я выигрываю не менее 60 долларов, по крайней мере, в 80% случаев, но проблема в том, что я не ушел, пока не потерял свои деньги. Я бы согласился, если бы все формы азартных игр исчезли, я думаю, было бы легче признать, что они исчезли, и двигаться дальше, но в нынешнем виде соблазнительница – это всего лишь отступление. Я также утверждаю, что любой, кто регулярно играет, имеет проблемы с азартными играми. Я бы сказал, что регулярно, может быть, еженедельно, используя деньги из любого периода оплаты на регулярной основе. Единственными действительно «ответственными» игроками (на мой взгляд) будут те, кто ездит в Лас-Вегас, может быть, раз в год и не играет в любое другое время. Когда у меня на заднем дворе появились казино, меня облажали, как и многих, многих других. Это всемирный сайт. И в любой момент времени в чате бывает, может быть, 4 человека … Это болезнь, которая незаметно поедает и убивает душу. Зло … Чистое зло. Но, как и все остальное, что "мы не должны делать", это весело, захватывающе … и увлекательно! Спасибо за сообщение Johnny B
I have been standing in your shoes many times. Let’s look at the positives. You are still very young and have a huge future ahead of you. The fact that you are recognizing a potential problem is huge. You are correct in recognizing that your future career earnings can be in jeopardy if you don’t control the urges. I made a six figure salary for 12 years, and have no savings. I have blown equity in my home, IRA savings and any “extra” money I could get my hands on over the years.
I stopped gambling a little over 3 months ago. I can’t say I have any extra money, but what I do have, I am very proud of, and I recognize that I can blow it all in a very short time if I am not in control of my situation. I never want to go down that path again (it only took me 30 years to realize it)Lol…
Good Luck, keep posting…join in on chat, it is nice to get to know some of the support that you will get on this site!
Hope the best for you,
Stay strong
Johnny BI second the thought of IDI. A simple reward of someone recognizing the effort you are putting forth to stop, and the pain/strength it takes to do it, is very important!
Do not feel bad about yourself because of relapse. Feel good that you recognize the effect it has on you. I personally have thoughts of gambling, all of the time. I think I can control myself and play smart….but then I think of all of the other times where I thought the same thing, and I embarrassed myself, and let my friends and family down. But nothing worse than letting ourselves down.
I have dreamed about winning the lottery, and taking care of my problems with one swoop…but, honestly, there is a part of me that is terrified that I would be one of those stories of someone who “had it all” only to piss it away.
It took me many years to recognize that I only stopped gambling sessions because I ran out of money, and had no other options to get any at that time… and when I was able to get my hands on some, I would gamble again! That is not “normal” behavior, and I know I am not alone on this site.
I enjoy GT because we have all been there.. Your thoughts are my thoughts, and the thoughts of many others. But I think it is important to know that you are not alone in your struggles.
Friends, and family cannot possibly understand, and very simply judge unfairly, they are lucky not to be in a cycle of addiction, and frankly it sucks to be in one. But what can we do? Do we sit here feeling sorry for ourselves, and keep repeating our embarrassing /destructive behavior? Or do we do something about it?…The fact you are here, sharing your thoughts speaks volumes to me that you are trying to do something about it….remember, there is no try without fail, and there is no success without trying!
Stay strong
Johnny BI want to congratulate you on making the effort to post here. This is not an easy thing to do. I also think it is important to keep track of the dollars as you have, and take a look with fresh eyes. I am not chastising you in anyway, but in your forum you reference a total of $3000 lost since January. I can’t speak to your financial situation, but I do know if those losses keep coming, there is no turning it around.
You mention there are some gamblers who get “extremely lucky”, but in many of those cases, they wind up in a downward spiral and lose it all. I know that for me, the sickest times I felt, is where I was up several thousand, and lost it all back and then some.. sometimes not in the same day, but invariably over a few trips, it was all gone… Months worth of income earned lost in just a few sessions…not good…not acceptable.
Stay the course, I think you are on the right track.
Johnny B