[izzi25]

Grazie Chris, gli ho detto che sono felice che la mia paga vada nel suo conto in banca ecc. E farò tutto il necessario per ripararlo e andare sulla strada giusta sia con lui che con CG. Ho chiesto di vederlo stasera per parlare di persona prima di oggi e ha detto di no, l'ho chiesto di nuovo non molto tempo fa e improvvisamente ha degli amici stasera anche se mi ha detto che deve alzarsi presto domani mattina. Quindi comprensibilmente il suo dolore e ha bisogno di più tempo. Ho solo bisogno di sapere se mi darà una possibilità. Mi ha detto che mi avrebbe chiamato stasera.

Questa è la mia prima ricaduta con lui nella mia vita e non pensavo che se ne sarebbe preso così tanto a cuore, continua a dirmi che gli ho mentito. perché non l'ho mai chiamato ieri sera per discutere dei miei impulsi e che aveva un sensazione di essere un utente. Queste parole incidono profondamente dentro di me come un coltello affilato. Domani non sembra così brillante e non so cosa fare finanziariamente perché non ho soldi per i prossimi 30 giorni, tutto questo sembra banale anche se alla luce della sua perdita.

[izzi25]

Gracias Chris, le dije que estoy feliz de que mi sueldo vaya a su cuenta bancaria, etc. y haré lo que sea necesario para repararlo y seguir el camino correcto tanto con él como con CG. Pedí verlo esta noche para hablar en persona hoy temprano y me dijo que no, volví a preguntar no hace mucho y de repente tiene amigos esta noche a pesar de que me dijo que tiene que levantarse temprano mañana por la mañana. Comprensiblemente su dolor y necesita más tiempo. Solo necesito saber si me dará una oportunidad. Me dijo que me llamaría esta noche.

Esta es mi primera recaída con él en mi vida y no pensé que se lo tomaría tan a pecho, sigue diciéndome que le mentí, porque nunca lo llamé anoche para discutir mis impulsos y que tenía un sintiendo que era un usuario. Estas palabras se graban profundamente dentro de mí como un cuchillo afilado. El mañana no parece tan brillante y no sé qué hacer financieramente ya que no tengo dinero para los próximos 30 días, todo esto parece trivial a la luz de perderlo.

[izzi25]

Cảm ơn Chris, tôi đã nói với anh ấy rằng tôi rất vui vì tiền của tôi đã vào tài khoản ngân hàng của anh ấy, v.v. và tôi sẽ làm bất cứ điều gì cần thiết để sửa chữa nó và đi đúng hướng với cả anh ấy và CG. Tôi yêu cầu gặp anh ấy tối nay để nói chuyện trực tiếp sớm hơn hôm nay và anh ấy nói không, tôi hỏi lại cách đây không lâu và anh ấy đột nhiên có bạn qua đêm nay mặc dù anh ấy nói với tôi rằng anh ấy phải dậy sớm vào sáng mai. Vì vậy, có thể hiểu được sự tổn thương của anh ấy & anh ấy cần thêm thời gian. Tôi chỉ cần biết liệu anh ấy có cho tôi một cơ hội hay không. Anh ấy nói với tôi anh ấy sẽ gọi cho tôi tối nay.

Đây là lần tái phát đầu tiên của tôi với anh ấy trong đời và tôi không nghĩ rằng anh ấy sẽ để tâm đến điều đó đến vậy, anh ấy liên tục nói với tôi rằng tôi đã nói dối anh ấy. Bởi vì tôi chưa bao giờ gọi điện cho anh ấy tối qua để thảo luận về sự thúc giục của tôi và anh ấy có một cảm thấy tôi là một người dùng. Những lời này khắc sâu trong tôi như một con dao sắc bén. Ngày mai có vẻ không quá tươi sáng và tôi không biết phải làm gì về tài chính vì tôi không có tiền trong 30 ngày tới, tất cả điều này có vẻ tầm thường mặc dù khi mất anh ấy.

[izzi25]

Dzięki Chris, powiedziałem mu, że cieszę się, że moja wypłata trafi na jego konto bankowe itp. Zrobię wszystko, aby to naprawić i udać się na właściwą drogę zarówno z nim, jak i z CG. Poprosiłem o spotkanie z nim dziś wieczorem, aby porozmawiać dzisiaj osobiście, a on powiedział nie, zapytałem ponownie nie tak dawno temu i nagle ma dziś przyjaciół, chociaż powiedział mi, że jutro rano musi wstać wcześnie rano. Zrozumiałe jest to, że jest zraniony i potrzebuje więcej czasu. Muszę tylko wiedzieć, czy da mi szansę. Powiedział, że zadzwoni do mnie dziś wieczorem.

To mój pierwszy nawrót z nim w moim życiu i nie sądziłem, że weźmie to sobie do serca tak bardzo, ciągle mi powtarza, że go okłamałem. uczucie, że jestem użytkownikiem. Te słowa wbijają się we mnie jak ostry nóż. Jutro nie wydaje mi się takie jasne i nie wiem, co robić finansowo, bo nie mam pieniędzy na najbliższe 30 dni, to wszystko wydaje się trywialne w świetle utraty go.

[izzi25]

Дякую, Кріс, я сказав йому, що радий, що моя зарплата потрапить на його банківський рахунок і т.д. Я попросив його побачитись сьогодні ввечері, щоб поговорити особисто сьогодні раніше, і він сказав ні, я не так давно ще раз попросив, і у нього раптом з’явилися друзі сьогодні ввечері, хоча він сказав мені, що він має вставати рано вранці рано. Так зрозуміло, що його боляче, і йому потрібно більше часу. Мені просто потрібно знати, чи дасть він мені шанс. Він сказав мені, що подзвонить мені сьогодні ввечері.

Це мій перший рецидив з ним у житті, і я не думав, що він буде так серйозно приймати до серця, він постійно каже мені, що я йому брехав. Тому що я ніколи не дзвонив йому вчора ввечері, щоб обговорити мої потяги і що він відчуття, що я користувач. Ці слова врізаються глибоко в мене, як гострий ніж. Завтра не видається таким світлим, і я не знаю, що робити фінансово, оскільки у мене немає грошей на найближчі 30 днів, але все це здається тривіальним, хоча у світлі його втрати.

[izzi25]

クリスに感謝します、私は彼の銀行口座などに私の支払いが入ってうれしいと彼に言いました、そして私はそれを修理して彼とCGの両方で正しい軌道に乗るために必要なことは何でもします。私は今夜彼に直接会って今日早く話をするように頼みました、そして彼はいいえと言いました、私は少し前にもう一度尋ねました、そして彼は明日の朝早く起きなければならないと私に言ったのに彼は今夜突然友達ができました。当然のことながら、彼は傷つき、もっと時間が必要です。彼が私にチャンスを与えるかどうかを知る必要があります。彼は今夜私に電話すると言った。

これは私の人生で初めての彼との再発であり、彼がそれをそれほど心に留めるとは思わなかったので、彼は私が彼に嘘をついたと私に言い続けています。私はユーザーだと感じました。これらの言葉は鋭いナイフのように私の奥深くに刻み込まれます。明日はそれほど明るくはないようで、次の30日間はお金がないので、経済的にどうしたらよいかわかりません。彼を失ったことを考えると、これはすべて些細なことのようです。

[izzi25]

Kiitos Chris, kerroin hänelle, että olen iloinen siitä, että maksuni menee hänen pankkitililleen jne., Ja teen kaikkeni sen korjaamiseksi ja olen oikealla tiellä sekä hänen että CG: n kanssa. Pyysin tapaamaan häntä tänä iltana puhuakseni henkilökohtaisesti aiemmin tänään, ja hän sanoi ei, kysyin uudestaan vähän aikaa sitten ja hänellä on yhtäkkiä ystäviä tänä iltana, vaikka hän sanoi minulle, että hänen on noustava aikaisin huomenna aamulla. Joten ymmärrettävästi hänen loukkaantumisensa ja hän tarvitsee enemmän aikaa. Minun täytyy vain tietää, antaako hän minulle mahdollisuuden. Hän sanoi, että soittaa minulle tänä iltana.

Tämä on ensimmäinen uusiutumiseni hänen kanssaan elämässäni, enkä uskonut, että hän ottaisi sen niin syvälle, hän sanoo jatkuvasti, että valehtelin hänelle. Koska en koskaan soittanut hänelle viime yönä keskustelemaan toiveistani ja että hänellä oli tunsin olevani käyttäjä. Nämä sanat syövyttävät minuun kuin terävä veitsi. Huomenna ei näytä niin valoisalta, enkä tiedä mitä tehdä taloudellisesti, koska minulla ei ole rahaa seuraaviin 30 päivään.

[izzi25]

Thanks Chris, l told him that I’m happy for my pay to go into his bank account etc and I’ll do whatever it takes to repair it and get on the right track with both him and CG. I asked to see him tonight to talk in person earlier today and he said no, I asked again not too long ago and he suddenly has friends over tonight even though he told me he has to get up early tomorrow morning. So understandbly his hurt & he needs more time. I just need to know whether his going to give me a chance. He told me he would call me tonight.

This is my first relapse with him in my life and I didn’t think he would take it to heart so much, he keeps telling me I lied to him.because I never called him last night to discuss my urges and that he had a feeling I was a user. These words etch deep inside me like a sharp knife. Tomorrow doesn’t seem so bright and I don’t know what to do financially as I have no money for the next 30 days, this all seems trivial though in light of losing him.

[izzi25]

Danke Chris, ich habe ihm gesagt, dass ich froh bin, dass mein Gehalt auf sein Bankkonto usw. übergeht, und ich werde alles tun, um es zu reparieren und mit ihm und CG auf den richtigen Weg zu kommen. Ich bat ihn heute Abend zu sehen, um heute früher persönlich zu sprechen, und er sagte nein, ich habe vor nicht allzu langer Zeit noch einmal gefragt und er hat heute Abend plötzlich Freunde, obwohl er mir gesagt hat, dass er morgen früh aufstehen muss. Verständlicherweise ist seine Verletzung so und er braucht mehr Zeit. Ich muss nur wissen, ob er mir eine Chance gibt. Er sagte mir, er würde mich heute Abend anrufen.

Dies ist mein erster Rückfall mit ihm in meinem Leben und ich hätte nicht gedacht, dass er sich das so zu Herzen nehmen würde, er sagt mir immer wieder, dass ich ihn angelogen habe das Gefühl, ein Benutzer zu sein. Diese Worte bohren sich tief in mich wie ein scharfes Messer. Morgen scheint nicht so rosig zu sein und ich weiß nicht, was ich finanziell tun soll, da ich die nächsten 30 Tage kein Geld habe, aber das alles scheint angesichts seines Verlustes trivial.

[izzi25]

Teşekkürler Chris, ona ödememin banka hesabına vs. geçmesinden mutlu olduğumu ve onu onarmak ve hem onunla hem de CG ile doğru yolda ilerlemek için ne gerekiyorsa yapacağımı söyledim. Bugün erken saatlerde yüz yüze konuşmak için onu bu gece görmek istedim ve hayır dedi, çok uzun zaman önce tekrar sordum ve yarın sabah erken kalkması gerektiğini söylemesine rağmen aniden bu gece arkadaşları var. Bu yüzden anlaşılır bir şekilde incinmesi ve daha fazla zamana ihtiyacı var. Sadece bana bir şans verip vermeyeceğini bilmem gerekiyor. Bu gece beni arayacağını söyledi.

Bu onunla hayatımda ilk kez nüksetti ve bunu bu kadar ciddiye alacağını düşünmemiştim, bana ona yalan söylediğimi söyleyip duruyor. bir kullanıcı olduğumu hissetmek. Bu sözler keskin bir bıçak gibi içime işliyor. Yarın çok parlak görünmüyor ve önümüzdeki 30 gün boyunca param olmadığı için finansal olarak ne yapacağımı bilmiyorum, onu kaybetmenin ışığında tüm bunlar önemsiz görünüyor.

[izzi25]

Tak Chris, jeg fortalte ham, at jeg er glad for, at min løn gik ind på hans bankkonto osv., Og jeg vil gøre, hvad der skal til for at reparere det og komme på rette spor med både ham og CG. Jeg bad om at se ham i aften for at tale personligt tidligere i dag, og han sagde nej, jeg spurgte igen for ikke så længe siden, og han har pludselig venner over i aften, selvom han fortalte mig, at han skulle stå tidligt i morgen morgen. Så forståeligt nok hans ondt og han har brug for mere tid. Jeg skal bare vide, om han vil give mig en chance. Han fortalte mig, at han ville ringe til mig i aften.

Dette er mit første tilbagefald med ham i mit liv, og jeg troede ikke, at han ville tage det til sig så meget, han bliver ved med at fortælle mig, at jeg løj for ham. Fordi jeg aldrig ringede til ham i aftes for at diskutere mine opfordringer, og at han havde en føler jeg var en bruger. Disse ord ætser dybt inde i mig som en skarp kniv. I morgen virker det ikke så lyst, og jeg ved ikke, hvad jeg skal gøre økonomisk, da jeg ikke har penge i de næste 30 dage, alt dette virker trivielt, selvom det er i lyset af at miste ham.

[izzi25]

This update has been a long time coming, it has been over three months since I posted and so much has happened. I seriously feel like my time here living and working with family has been hell. They have not treated me nicely and spoken about me behind my back and treated me like a child. It has been very painful and hard and of course, I am the one that always looks bad, they are never in the wrong. We both live different lifestyles and they have not been able to accept that. I have tried to adjust to how they do things because it is not my house but that still is not good enough. My sister in law has complained so much about me, which is ironic because I feel like a nanny because she barely lifts a finger at times. My friends back home have been really supportive and really upset with my treatment. I thought moving here would mend my relationship with my sibling but it made it everything worse. I really can’t not emphasise how painful it has been.

The past month has been a mad rollercoaster, I decided to cg and can’t even remember why. I know that I was stressing about moving back home and not having a job. I was intending to move back in May because I got accepted back into uni and wanted to settle in before the craziness of uni. Anyway, I ended up cging and I lost all my savings I was working months to save for. And it went downhill from there, long story short, I now have 5 cash advances, in that time my brother reduced my hours from full time to part time with just 2 days notice. It really was stressing me out and I was not happy that he did that with two days notice, not nice or professional. He made it out like it was something that was happening for me and the other employee, which was a lie. He can do what he wants but don’t lie about it. I am your sister, the other employee who is my sister in law, complained so much bout me that my brother decided to reduce my hours from 38 a week to 24. She still gets paid full-time hours even though she does not work full-time. She was not happy that he paid me more, that was an agreement though and a perk of moving all this way for him. And her continued passive aggressiveness has made me see her in a different way, she was my favourite person before moving in with her. And now I don’t trust or believe a word that comes out of her mouth. That is the kind of stuff that has been going on.. I have been under a lot of stress and now I owe lots of money that I can’t pay back and I am swimming deep in debt.

I move back home in 5 days and start a new job in exactly one week. In three months uni starts, studying full time and working part time. No idea how I am going to cope, not liking life at the moment. I feel so stupid for taking a risk and coming here. I really thought I could be an asset to the business, I didn’t like how we did things, nor did I get trained right. It just wasn’t my thing and my deceptive sis in law made sure she always looked good and I looked bad. I haven’t even told my parents or other siblings because he is the golden child and he can do no wrong. I also can’t trust them not to say anything to him, if they do, it will cause more of a rift. So I basically have to shut my mouth and take it. I know eventually my bro will turn this whole thing into a joke at my own expense.

I wish that I could shut my family out it would make my life so much easier. Being part of them is just a window to my past. And every moment I spend with them I am reminded of what isn’t right in my life.

Today I am 5 days clean, I am not smiling though I am too stressed and too upset right now at myself and at them. I really do try with them, or I like to think I do. But they keep telling me that I haven’t changed that, I am starting to think that it actually isn’t them who haven’t changed. Honestly I do not know how much more disappointment I can take. Something amazing needs to happen and it needs to happen soon.

Thanks for listening, just really hurt and sad deep down inside.

[izzi25]

Hi Vera,

hope you have been well! I laughed so hard when you said it would be better off living in the “digs!”. Unfortunately since I am new to this city, do not really know many people. And not at a point where I can afford to move out as I have a couple of huge bills coming up. I have definitely thought about it, also I may have some news (depending on what happens) I will be in a place where I will have to make some important decisions.

Thanks babe for that encouragement regarding adam’s thread, was hoping to sound nice and not come across as nasty.

Not sure what today is but I do know it is another day clean.

[izzi25]

that is the story of my life, started gambling because I hated my family so much (was so hurt by them) always felt like an outsider, cg was completely out of character. And I just wanted to make money and move out and be independant but it ended up eating me, still is eating me financially (paying the price for so many years of cg)

[izzi25]

that is the story of my life, started gambling because I hated my family so much (was so hurt by them) always felt like an outsider, cg was completely out of character. And I just wanted to make money and move out and be independant but it ended up eating me, still is eating me financially (paying the price for so many years of cg)

[Author]

Posts