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Still feeling quite miserable but I must return to work – those bills won’t pay themselves.
Something new for me – I am starting to want things which in the past I thought I had no interest in .
I have decided I want to visit Texas – i love America!
It won’t happen this year but I can make it happen next year – I am getting so excited just thinking about it – this must be what holidays are like for “normal” people – they used to be just a huge source of stress for me.
Next new thing. – I have decided I am going to read my way through the Booker prize winners and finalists and extend my mind a little !

So I am starting to want things after all!

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Hi keegan
Please don’t feel hopeless – I have gambled and lost far more than you but I am on the other side of it now and actually really enjoying life.
You have suffered a lot of loss in the past year. Gambling seems like an escape from this but actually compounds our mental anguish. During the past year gambling may have served a purpose in your life – it allowed you to escape the grief and loss sense of loss you were feeling – however, gambling no longer serves a purpose in your life .

If you have no money try downloading Gamban to your internet devices – They give u a free trial . This will give you a bit of thinking time instead of gambling on automatic pilot.

You are a good person who deserves a good future. We all have blip times in our lives – this was your blip.

An app I find very helpful which is free is called moodfit. It gives you lots of exercises which u can do as often as you wish to help improve your mental wellbeing . Perhaps this app could be your replacement activity for a while .

You can get past this and once we get into the swing of things, recovery happens very quickly- our minds settle. We learn to live on an even keel rather than the constant highs and lows of gambling which so mess with our brain chemistry.

Keep strong my friend . If you feel like hurting yourself , please delay it and talk to befrienders or some one else.

You need to have a little self compassion for all you have been through, and tell yourself you are a good person who just needs a little time to get back on track.

Forgive yourself for the money – no matter how much it is – it’s still only money .
You are more important than any sum of money .
You have a family who need you just as you need them.

Keep strong my friend.

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Hi Min ,
Well done on your honesty with your husband.
Can I suggest you buy a gambling blocker for your internet devices – I use Gamban. It cuts access to all gambling sites.

I’m afraid I have to agree with Steev. Once the hobby of gambling crosses the line into an addiction , there is no safe gamble anymore . Going to the casino just keeps the addiction alive – we never want to stop after one night and the urges can become completely crazy. I think it might be an idea to say to your friends you are fed up with casino night and why not try something new?

Min you have taken so many positive steps – don’t let this horrible addiction cause you another minutes worry – abandon it completely !

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Well done Inafalsetto for seeking help. Especially well done for seeking help before you have got into debt. Those are good action you have taken – I would further advise that you get a gambling blocker on all your internet devices – I use Gamban.

Build up as many barriers as you can as these give you thinking time when urges to gamble come.

Try not to look back at the money lost – try to draw a line in the sand and step over it . It’s hard to do but financial recovery can happen very fast especially when you don’t have debt.

Hope to see you in a group sometime .

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Fritz, Ryan has given you good advice.
You know how to stop and stay stopped.
Until you get that brain shift which overrides the addiction, set your barriers as high as possible.
Remove the automatic pilot gambling from your life and focus on wellness.

You can do this .

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HI Seanraj
I hope you son has a fabulous birthday. The positivity in your posts is infectious – it is a great feeling to be able to buy things for our kids and for ourselves – the things we used to think we needed a win for.
Onwards and upwards Seanraj!

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HI Seanraj
I hope you son has a fabulous birthday. The positivity in your posts is infectious – it is a great feeling to be able to buy things for our kids and for ourselves – the things we used to think we needed a win for.
Onwards and upwards Seanraj!

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Thank you Seanraj and Steev

22 weeks gamble free today – the start of my sixth month!
Was due to go away for the weekend but have been struck down by flu.
I realise that there is actually a “before and after flu”.

“Before flu” meant panicking because my husband had to do the grocery shop and he was sure to spend too much because he didn’t know I had been gambling and there was little left in the account to last the rest of the month. It was a miserable time when as well as feeling sick I had money worries spinning around in my head – I had gambling urges absolutely torturing me as I hoped to make a financial recovery by gambling. I didn’t want to see anyone and the stress seemed to make me feel more ill.

“After flu” means sipping Lucozade , with my head perched against my lovely soft headboard, watching Netflix and replying to messages from friends and family. I feel less ill than with previous flus and I am sleeping well. . Despite the flu and the coughing bouts I feel happy, relaxed and grateful for all I have in my life – especially my peace of mind!

Who knew a coping with horrible flu could be so much better during recovery .

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Hi Slogemblr,

Most of us here probably became addicted the same way – some very big wins and feeling invincible.
I think it’s the devil reeling us in with false promises so he can destroy our lives.

You still have money in the bank and are seeking help – most of us don’t when we eventually realise we need to stop so well done !

Blocking yourself from land based casinos is an excellent start . You say you have a gambling blocker on your internet devices also . Can you find a way to restrict actual cash when you are away ? Is there someone who can control your money during these times.

Even when I stopped in the past , the addiction in my brain would start sneakily planning to gamble as soon as it knew I was going somewhere where my barriers were not secure .

Can u access the Gamcare website and work through their workbooks – they are CBT based and really good .

Please seek all the help you can – you can beat this and have your money to spend on you !

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So I have reached five months – really this time !
It has been the longest week !
I am blissfully happy despite a cough and feeling a little flu-like. I just feel so blessed. I have money in the bank – not vast amounts but enough to not worry.
I can go out for a meal if I want or buy really good footwear.
Today I am going to buy myself a good handbag inTK Max!

I have been having early nights, mostly due to feeling below par but it is so lovely to wake up well rested !
Not a terribly exciting life right now but a very contented one .

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Today I woke feeling quite anxious. I have not been doing my mindfulness everyday , which was one of my recovery tools. Anxiety can be a trigger for me. It’s so easy to allow complacency to slip into our recovery. It takes ten minutes a day and I never seem to find the time- busyness is also a trigger for me!
I also have a had a falling out of sorts with my son- I am finding it difficult to sit back and watch him throw the future he wants away due to lack Of study. However my anxiety about the matter is making him anxious and less able to study. I’m not sure what the right thing to do is but I guess I hve to let him make his own mistakes . Who knows he might surprise me ?
Lastly I’m not sure how much longer I will put up with my “lovely to the whole world except me” husband. It must be nice to want to spend time with your significant other, to not hve to our up with their constant unpredictable moods , to spend an hour of your life in your own home without being criticised – it must be nice but then I wouldn’t know !

Gambling gave me an escape-Recovery has given me options !

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Hi Margaret,
It’s really positive when you can identify triggers. Is there anywhere else you can mix with others? There’s a site I sometimes use called “meet-ups” and it tells you about lots of events going on in your area – everything from a few people meeting up to walk to dancing. You might find a new focus.

Well done on your gamble free time – progress not perfection !

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Thank you Monica

I was so excited when I woke up this morning to write I am
Into my sixth month gamble free. I saw the date and realised I am not five months gamble free until next Friday.

There definitely is some type of deficient in my brain when it comes to dates! I can never remember anyone’s birthday, or appointments and I remember at school everyone seemed to know their timetable but I had to check mine several times a day.

I guess the good thing is I can congratulate myself all over again on Friday !! It’s like getting two birthdays !

That’s about it – going at last to get that hairstyle – if I can stop laughing at myself for long enough to get there !

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Congratulations on reaching day 57 Seanraj. I love to read your positive posts .
You are so right about creating positive
Pathways in the brain – my counsellor talks about superhighways – a brain path that is travelled so often it becomes our first response to anything.
My main super highway used to be gambling – I’m not sure what it is anymore but I know the gambling superhighway is starting to crumble due to neglect and lack of maintenance!

Keep strong Seanraj and keep doing what works for you .

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Monica
That is the saddest thing to see a friend suffer with such a horrible illness – The mental anguish must be even worse than the physical pain. We are blessed that we can make plans and have a good chance of being here to see them through. You will understand her plight more than anyone .

Despite feeling so sad as I read your post, I find myself thinking how wonderful Monica is not gambling and is able to be there for her- you can bring her nice food, you can afford the fare to go see her and you can afford a cup of coffee on the way home if you need time to decompress. I often think the best thing about not gambling is being able to be there for people we love during the worse times.

I hope your mum is ok when she gets home. I admire her insisting on her independence although I’m sure it is a worry for you. When we reach an age if we don’t use it we lose it so it looks like your mum has no intention of losing anything !

Keep strong Monica and keep looking after you xx

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