[finding_laura]

thanks for your posts IDI and Monica. I can understand the hating oneself at times IDI. I am hard on myself. Catch myself being mean to myself. We don’t deserve it! Monica, you are having a particularly difficult “recovery” for your first steps from a particularly hard bottom. Some day you will look back and say I made it back from that, how strong and inspiring am I.

So I’m going to take a break for a while, just this afternoon. I’m not moving enough. I’m not doing things for me I need to. I have parcels to get off for Christmas and I haven’t been keeping up with my paperwork. Medical claim to file. I need the support of the site but I also need to get money back to live on.
A trigger for me has been tight finances. Because I think I can win enough to take the pressure off. It never works out that way. Any temporary relief (which is rare) is eaten up and so much more by the long term harm. No gambling for me today. My biggest barrier (not being able to drive to a venue) is still in place and will be for quite some time to come.

Please have a good day all!
Laura

[finding_laura]

Hi Gemen,
welcome to the forum. Is your job in the industry immersed in the act of gambling somehow (not asking you to specify) and so you feel applying for work in your industry will make it difficult for you to stay away from gambling yourself?
If that is the case you may have to make a difficult choice and try and find work in a different industry. If your wife is standing by you is she also helping with the finances? We feel terrible when we have to face the consequences but i know I’ve been able to get over that feeling before.
Keep reading and posting. It helps to have the support of the community. Gives us advice and I know sometimes it’s been the thought of coming here and posting that I gambled that stopped me long enough to think.
Take care, have a gamble free day!
Laura

[finding_laura]

Oh, and congratulations on day 112. Because you continue to make a choice each and every day. Onward and upward!
Laura

[finding_laura]

The wheels of government grind along slowly paying no mind to those that don’t have family to step in and assist. It must seem absolutely endless.
Did you have a chance to check out the salvation army website? Some locations have a electricity top up? Wouldn’t hurt to check into? And a food basket can’t harm. If you don’t like the stuff give it to Pete or the dog!
If you were offered a job tomorrow would you be able to take it? If in the new year you were offered a job and you were in same place you are now would it help? Because sooner or later you will get a job. I look at it as it’s keeping up your physical strength and health that is important. That requires the basics. Tackling things like keeping lights on and food in your belly. Survival until your ship comes in. You are bright, intelligent, well educated, and available. Sooner or later someone will recognize that and the fact that with your age comes stability and wisdom. You just need to make sure you look it for the interview 🙂 I hope you don’t ever feel that I minimize the situation you are in. Sometimes when we are in the mega storm we don’t see that it too does have an edge and will eventually improve. Barring any further disasters. I am a realist even though an optimist. Enjoy your evening in any way you can. Laura
Laura

[finding_laura]

Well you took a negative and turned it into a positive. One more little stone lifted off your back. I’m sure that was weighing on you. Good to have you back.

[finding_laura]

Hi CT,

I don’t have all the answers for you. I wish I did. I do know that suicide is not the answer you are looking for. Your parents, your girlfriend, your friends, would tell you that themselves if they had the chance.
I also know that you’d should protect your next pay before it arrives or you will have a good chance of losing that too.
It’s like we can’t seem to help ourselves when in full blown gambling mode. We need to put in place measures to prevent access to our own money in the beginning.
If you tell your girlfriend there is the risk of losing her. But if she finds out you are lying to her and faking an illness, or if she senses the untruth it may turn out much worse. Also, is it fair to her to be in a relationship with someone who is hiding an uncontrolled addiction from her? Just some thoughts.
When you came clean to your parents before, what ACTIONS did you take to help yourself? Did you attend a few GA meetings and/or go for addictions counseling? Did you ban yourself from the sites and locations you were using for gambling? Or did you put gambling blocking software on your phone? Did you ask your parents for help in controlling your finances? I am asking because just trying to stop because we have hit a new financial bottom and are embarrassed and humiliated is so difficult without using some or all of the tools I’ve mentioned above.
There IS normal life after this addiction. Maybe look at some of the things I’ve mentioned. You are still so young. So much time to live a gamble free life. Time to make up for the losses through hard work and smart choices. Don’t totally despair. Tough times ahead to get through. But don’t do anything foolish like harm yourself. As a parent let me assure you, that is not the choice your parents would want you to make. Deep breathes!
Laura

[finding_laura]

You ok Monica? You are quiet tonight. Did you get away for your weekend with your daugther? Thinking about you. Praying for strength for you. I’m hoping something comes through for you soon that will move things along in your favour. Kin is so right. You have enormous strength.

[finding_laura]

I think we all feel sorry after we start to come back from the brink this addiction drives us to. Sorry for a lot of the things we’ve done. But you should never feel sorry for reaching out to this community for support. I am glad to hear you sounding a little better. Tiny little steps and improvements in the beginning. But it is a start. Take care of you. Heal. I hope they provide you with the supports you need to move forward. Laura

[finding_laura]

Hallo Lisa, du hast recht. Es sollte so sein. Ich kann nicht glauben, dass deine Mutter die Hand zu dir erhoben hat. Und auch mit einem Baby im Arm! Das wäre furchtbar ärgerlich. Kein Wunder, dass Sie die meiste Zeit Abstand halten müssen. Ich bin froh, dass Sie einen anderen Weg gefunden haben, mit den Gefühlen umzugehen, als das Spielen! Danke, dass Sie uns wissen lassen, dass es Ihnen gut geht. Sie können Ihre Handlungen oder Reaktionen kontrollieren, nicht ihr Verhalten. Machen Sie weiter und wissen Sie, dass Sie unter den gegebenen Umständen das Beste tun, was Sie können. Gute Nacht Lisa

[finding_laura]

Sveika Liz, tev taisnība. Tā tam vajadzētu būt. Es nespēju noticēt, ka tava māte pacēla pret tevi roku. Un arī ar mazuli rokās! Tas būtu šausmīgi apbēdinoši. Nav brīnums, ka lielāko daļu laika jums ir jāievēro attālums. Es priecājos, ka esat atradis veidu, kā tikt galā ar jūtām, kas nav azartspēles! Paldies, ka paziņojāt mums, ka viss ir kārtībā. Jūs varat kontrolēt savas darbības vai reakcijas, nevis viņas uzvedību. Turpiniet zināt, ka jūs darāt visu iespējamo, ņemot vērā jums dotos apstākļus. Ar labu nakti Liza

[finding_laura]

Hej Liz, du har rätt. Det borde vara så. Jag kan inte fatta att din mamma räckte upp handen till dig. Och med en bebis i dina armar också! Det skulle vara fruktansvärt upprörande. Inte konstigt att du måste hålla avstånd för det mesta. Jag är glad att du hittade ett sätt att hantera andra känslor än spel! Tack för att du meddelade oss att det gick bra. Du kan styra dina handlingar eller reaktioner, inte hennes beteende. Fortsätt att veta att du gör det bästa du kan med den omständighet du har fått. God natt Liz

[finding_laura]

Bok Liz, u pravu si. Tako bi trebalo biti. Ne mogu vjerovati da je tvoja majka podigla ruku na tebe. A i s bebom u naručju! To bi bilo užasno uznemirujuće. Nije ni čudo što se većinu vremena morate držati na distanci. Drago mi je da ste pronašli način da se nosite s osjećajima osim kockanja! Hvala što ste nas obavijestili da ste dobro. Možete kontrolirati svoje postupke ili reakcije, a ne njezino ponašanje. Nastavite znati da radite najbolje što možete s obzirom na okolnosti koje su vam date. Laku noć Liz

[finding_laura]

Hola Liz, tienes razón. Debería ser así. No puedo creer que tu madre te haya levantado la mano. ¡Y con un bebé en tus brazos también! Eso sería terriblemente perturbador. No es de extrañar que tengas que mantener la distancia la mayor parte del tiempo. ¡Me alegra que hayas encontrado una manera de lidiar con los sentimientos además del juego! Gracias por hacernos saber que te besaste bien. Puede controlar sus acciones o reacciones, no su comportamiento. Continúe sabiendo que está haciendo lo mejor que puede con la circunstancia que se le ha dado. Buenas noches Liz

[finding_laura]

Oi Liz, você está certa. Deve ser assim. Não acredito que sua mãe levantou a mão para você. E com um bebê nos braços também! Isso seria terrivelmente perturbador. Não é à toa que você precisa manter distância na maior parte do tempo. Estou feliz que você encontrou uma maneira de lidar com os sentimentos além do jogo! Obrigado por nos informar que você se deu bem. Você pode controlar suas ações ou reações, não o comportamento dela. Continue sabendo que você está fazendo o melhor que pode com as circunstâncias que lhe foram dadas. Boa noite liz

[finding_laura]

हाय लिज़, तुम सही हो। ऐसा ही होना चाहिए। मुझे विश्वास नहीं हो रहा है कि तुम्हारी माँ ने तुम्हारी ओर हाथ उठाया है। और आपकी गोद में एक बच्चा भी! यह बहुत परेशान करने वाला होगा। कोई आश्चर्य नहीं कि आपको ज्यादातर समय अपनी दूरी बनाए रखनी होगी। मुझे खुशी है कि आपको जुए के अलावा अन्य भावनाओं से निपटने का एक तरीका मिल गया! हमें यह बताने के लिए धन्यवाद कि आप ठीक हो गए हैं। आप उसके व्यवहार को नहीं अपने कार्यों या प्रतिक्रियाओं को नियंत्रित कर सकते हैं। यह जान लें कि आपको जो परिस्थिति दी गई है, उसमें आप अपना सर्वश्रेष्ठ प्रदर्शन कर रहे हैं। शुभ रात्रि लिज़ू

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