[finding_laura]

thanks for your posts IDI and Monica. I can understand the hating oneself at times IDI. I am hard on myself. Catch myself being mean to myself. We don’t deserve it! Monica, you are having a particularly difficult “recovery” for your first steps from a particularly hard bottom. Some day you will look back and say I made it back from that, how strong and inspiring am I.

So I’m going to take a break for a while, just this afternoon. I’m not moving enough. I’m not doing things for me I need to. I have parcels to get off for Christmas and I haven’t been keeping up with my paperwork. Medical claim to file. I need the support of the site but I also need to get money back to live on.
A trigger for me has been tight finances. Because I think I can win enough to take the pressure off. It never works out that way. Any temporary relief (which is rare) is eaten up and so much more by the long term harm. No gambling for me today. My biggest barrier (not being able to drive to a venue) is still in place and will be for quite some time to come.

Please have a good day all!
Laura

[finding_laura]

Hi Gemen,
welcome to the forum. Is your job in the industry immersed in the act of gambling somehow (not asking you to specify) and so you feel applying for work in your industry will make it difficult for you to stay away from gambling yourself?
If that is the case you may have to make a difficult choice and try and find work in a different industry. If your wife is standing by you is she also helping with the finances? We feel terrible when we have to face the consequences but i know I’ve been able to get over that feeling before.
Keep reading and posting. It helps to have the support of the community. Gives us advice and I know sometimes it’s been the thought of coming here and posting that I gambled that stopped me long enough to think.
Take care, have a gamble free day!
Laura

[finding_laura]

Oh, and congratulations on day 112. Because you continue to make a choice each and every day. Onward and upward!
Laura

[finding_laura]

The wheels of government grind along slowly paying no mind to those that don’t have family to step in and assist. It must seem absolutely endless.
Did you have a chance to check out the salvation army website? Some locations have a electricity top up? Wouldn’t hurt to check into? And a food basket can’t harm. If you don’t like the stuff give it to Pete or the dog!
If you were offered a job tomorrow would you be able to take it? If in the new year you were offered a job and you were in same place you are now would it help? Because sooner or later you will get a job. I look at it as it’s keeping up your physical strength and health that is important. That requires the basics. Tackling things like keeping lights on and food in your belly. Survival until your ship comes in. You are bright, intelligent, well educated, and available. Sooner or later someone will recognize that and the fact that with your age comes stability and wisdom. You just need to make sure you look it for the interview 🙂 I hope you don’t ever feel that I minimize the situation you are in. Sometimes when we are in the mega storm we don’t see that it too does have an edge and will eventually improve. Barring any further disasters. I am a realist even though an optimist. Enjoy your evening in any way you can. Laura
Laura

[finding_laura]

Well you took a negative and turned it into a positive. One more little stone lifted off your back. I’m sure that was weighing on you. Good to have you back.

[finding_laura]

Hi CT,

I don’t have all the answers for you. I wish I did. I do know that suicide is not the answer you are looking for. Your parents, your girlfriend, your friends, would tell you that themselves if they had the chance.
I also know that you’d should protect your next pay before it arrives or you will have a good chance of losing that too.
It’s like we can’t seem to help ourselves when in full blown gambling mode. We need to put in place measures to prevent access to our own money in the beginning.
If you tell your girlfriend there is the risk of losing her. But if she finds out you are lying to her and faking an illness, or if she senses the untruth it may turn out much worse. Also, is it fair to her to be in a relationship with someone who is hiding an uncontrolled addiction from her? Just some thoughts.
When you came clean to your parents before, what ACTIONS did you take to help yourself? Did you attend a few GA meetings and/or go for addictions counseling? Did you ban yourself from the sites and locations you were using for gambling? Or did you put gambling blocking software on your phone? Did you ask your parents for help in controlling your finances? I am asking because just trying to stop because we have hit a new financial bottom and are embarrassed and humiliated is so difficult without using some or all of the tools I’ve mentioned above.
There IS normal life after this addiction. Maybe look at some of the things I’ve mentioned. You are still so young. So much time to live a gamble free life. Time to make up for the losses through hard work and smart choices. Don’t totally despair. Tough times ahead to get through. But don’t do anything foolish like harm yourself. As a parent let me assure you, that is not the choice your parents would want you to make. Deep breathes!
Laura

[finding_laura]

You ok Monica? You are quiet tonight. Did you get away for your weekend with your daugther? Thinking about you. Praying for strength for you. I’m hoping something comes through for you soon that will move things along in your favour. Kin is so right. You have enormous strength.

[finding_laura]

I think we all feel sorry after we start to come back from the brink this addiction drives us to. Sorry for a lot of the things we’ve done. But you should never feel sorry for reaching out to this community for support. I am glad to hear you sounding a little better. Tiny little steps and improvements in the beginning. But it is a start. Take care of you. Heal. I hope they provide you with the supports you need to move forward. Laura

[finding_laura]

हाय लिज़, तुम सही हो। ऐसा ही होना चाहिए। मुझे विश्वास नहीं हो रहा है कि तुम्हारी माँ ने तुम्हारी ओर हाथ उठाया है। और आपकी गोद में एक बच्चा भी! यह बहुत परेशान करने वाला होगा। कोई आश्चर्य नहीं कि आपको ज्यादातर समय अपनी दूरी बनाए रखनी होगी। मुझे खुशी है कि आपको जुए के अलावा अन्य भावनाओं से निपटने का एक तरीका मिल गया! हमें यह बताने के लिए धन्यवाद कि आप ठीक हो गए हैं। आप उसके व्यवहार को नहीं अपने कार्यों या प्रतिक्रियाओं को नियंत्रित कर सकते हैं। यह जान लें कि आपको जो परिस्थिति दी गई है, उसमें आप अपना सर्वश्रेष्ठ प्रदर्शन कर रहे हैं। शुभ रात्रि लिज़ू

[finding_laura]

Salut Liz, tu as raison. Ça devrait être comme ça. Je n'arrive pas à croire que ta mère ait levé la main vers toi. Et avec un bébé dans les bras aussi ! Ce serait terriblement bouleversant. Pas étonnant que vous deviez garder vos distances la plupart du temps. Je suis content que vous ayez trouvé un moyen de gérer les sentiments autre que le jeu ! Merci de nous avoir fait savoir que vous alliez bien. Vous pouvez contrôler vos actions ou vos réactions, pas son comportement. Continuez à savoir que vous faites de votre mieux avec les circonstances qui vous ont été données. Bonne nuit Liz

[finding_laura]

Labas Liz, tu teisi. Turėtų būti taip. Negaliu patikėti, kad tavo mama pakėlė į tave ranką. Ir su kūdikiu ant rankų! Tai būtų baisiai liūdna. Nenuostabu, kad didžiąją laiko dalį turite išlaikyti atstumą. Džiaugiuosi, kad radote būdą, kaip susidoroti su kitais jausmais nei lošimas! Dėkojame, kad pranešėte mums, kad viskas gerai. Jūs galite kontroliuoti savo veiksmus ar reakcijas, o ne jos elgesį. Toliau žinokite, kad jūs darote viską, ką galite, atsižvelgdami į jums suteiktą aplinkybę. Labos nakties Liz

[finding_laura]

Tere Liz, sul on õigus. See peaks nii olema. Ma ei suuda uskuda, et su ema tõstis sulle käe. Ja beebi kaenlas ka! See oleks kohutavalt häiriv. Pole ime, et peate suurema osa ajast distantsi hoidma. Mul on hea meel, et leidsite viisi, kuidas toime tulla muude tunnetega kui hasartmängud! Täname, et andsite meile teada, et teil on kõik korras. Saate kontrollida oma tegevust või reaktsioone, mitte tema käitumist. Jätkake teadmist, et teete antud olukorraga oma parima. Head ööd Liz

[finding_laura]

Ahoj Liz, máš pravdu. Mělo by to tak být. Nemůžu uvěřit, že tvoje matka k tobě zvedla ruku. A také s dítětem v náručí! To by bylo strašně zneklidňující. Není divu, že si většinu času musíte držet odstup. Jsem rád, že jsi našel způsob, jak se vyrovnat s pocity kromě hazardu! Děkujeme, že jste nám sdělili, že jste dopadli dobře. Můžete ovládat své činy nebo reakce, nikoli její chování. Pokračujte v tom, že s okolnostmi, které jste dostali, děláte to nejlepší, co můžete. Dobrou noc Liz

[finding_laura]

Cześć Liz, masz rację. Tak powinno być. Nie mogę uwierzyć, że twoja matka podniosła na ciebie rękę. A także z dzieckiem w ramionach! To byłoby strasznie przygnębiające. Nic dziwnego, że przez większość czasu musisz zachować dystans. Cieszę się, że znalazłeś sposób na poradzenie sobie z uczuciami inny niż hazard! Dziękujemy za poinformowanie nas, że wszystko w porządku. Możesz kontrolować swoje działania lub reakcje, a nie jej zachowanie. Idź dalej, wiedz, że robisz wszystko, co w twojej mocy, w danej sytuacji. Dobranoc Liz

[finding_laura]

ہیلو لیز ، آپ ٹھیک کہہ رہے ہیں۔ ایسا ہی ہونا چاہیے۔ میں یقین نہیں کر سکتا کہ آپ کی ماں نے آپ کے سامنے ہاتھ اٹھایا۔ اور آپ کے بازوؤں میں ایک بچے کے ساتھ! یہ بہت پریشان کن ہوگا۔ کوئی تعجب نہیں کہ آپ کو زیادہ تر وقت اپنا فاصلہ رکھنا پڑتا ہے۔ مجھے خوشی ہے کہ آپ نے جوئے کے علاوہ دوسرے جذبات سے نمٹنے کا ایک طریقہ پایا! ہمیں یہ بتانے کے لیے شکریہ کہ آپ ٹھیک ہو گئے۔ آپ اپنے عمل یا رد عمل کو کنٹرول کر سکتے ہیں نہ کہ اس کے رویے کو۔ یہ جانتے رہیں کہ آپ جو حالات دے رہے ہیں اس کے ساتھ آپ اپنی پوری کوشش کر رہے ہیں۔ گڈ نائٹ لیز۔

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