[finding_laura]

thanks for your posts IDI and Monica. I can understand the hating oneself at times IDI. I am hard on myself. Catch myself being mean to myself. We don’t deserve it! Monica, you are having a particularly difficult “recovery” for your first steps from a particularly hard bottom. Some day you will look back and say I made it back from that, how strong and inspiring am I.

So I’m going to take a break for a while, just this afternoon. I’m not moving enough. I’m not doing things for me I need to. I have parcels to get off for Christmas and I haven’t been keeping up with my paperwork. Medical claim to file. I need the support of the site but I also need to get money back to live on.
A trigger for me has been tight finances. Because I think I can win enough to take the pressure off. It never works out that way. Any temporary relief (which is rare) is eaten up and so much more by the long term harm. No gambling for me today. My biggest barrier (not being able to drive to a venue) is still in place and will be for quite some time to come.

Please have a good day all!
Laura

[finding_laura]

Hi Gemen,
welcome to the forum. Is your job in the industry immersed in the act of gambling somehow (not asking you to specify) and so you feel applying for work in your industry will make it difficult for you to stay away from gambling yourself?
If that is the case you may have to make a difficult choice and try and find work in a different industry. If your wife is standing by you is she also helping with the finances? We feel terrible when we have to face the consequences but i know I’ve been able to get over that feeling before.
Keep reading and posting. It helps to have the support of the community. Gives us advice and I know sometimes it’s been the thought of coming here and posting that I gambled that stopped me long enough to think.
Take care, have a gamble free day!
Laura

[finding_laura]

Oh, and congratulations on day 112. Because you continue to make a choice each and every day. Onward and upward!
Laura

[finding_laura]

The wheels of government grind along slowly paying no mind to those that don’t have family to step in and assist. It must seem absolutely endless.
Did you have a chance to check out the salvation army website? Some locations have a electricity top up? Wouldn’t hurt to check into? And a food basket can’t harm. If you don’t like the stuff give it to Pete or the dog!
If you were offered a job tomorrow would you be able to take it? If in the new year you were offered a job and you were in same place you are now would it help? Because sooner or later you will get a job. I look at it as it’s keeping up your physical strength and health that is important. That requires the basics. Tackling things like keeping lights on and food in your belly. Survival until your ship comes in. You are bright, intelligent, well educated, and available. Sooner or later someone will recognize that and the fact that with your age comes stability and wisdom. You just need to make sure you look it for the interview 🙂 I hope you don’t ever feel that I minimize the situation you are in. Sometimes when we are in the mega storm we don’t see that it too does have an edge and will eventually improve. Barring any further disasters. I am a realist even though an optimist. Enjoy your evening in any way you can. Laura
Laura

[finding_laura]

Well you took a negative and turned it into a positive. One more little stone lifted off your back. I’m sure that was weighing on you. Good to have you back.

[finding_laura]

Hi CT,

I don’t have all the answers for you. I wish I did. I do know that suicide is not the answer you are looking for. Your parents, your girlfriend, your friends, would tell you that themselves if they had the chance.
I also know that you’d should protect your next pay before it arrives or you will have a good chance of losing that too.
It’s like we can’t seem to help ourselves when in full blown gambling mode. We need to put in place measures to prevent access to our own money in the beginning.
If you tell your girlfriend there is the risk of losing her. But if she finds out you are lying to her and faking an illness, or if she senses the untruth it may turn out much worse. Also, is it fair to her to be in a relationship with someone who is hiding an uncontrolled addiction from her? Just some thoughts.
When you came clean to your parents before, what ACTIONS did you take to help yourself? Did you attend a few GA meetings and/or go for addictions counseling? Did you ban yourself from the sites and locations you were using for gambling? Or did you put gambling blocking software on your phone? Did you ask your parents for help in controlling your finances? I am asking because just trying to stop because we have hit a new financial bottom and are embarrassed and humiliated is so difficult without using some or all of the tools I’ve mentioned above.
There IS normal life after this addiction. Maybe look at some of the things I’ve mentioned. You are still so young. So much time to live a gamble free life. Time to make up for the losses through hard work and smart choices. Don’t totally despair. Tough times ahead to get through. But don’t do anything foolish like harm yourself. As a parent let me assure you, that is not the choice your parents would want you to make. Deep breathes!
Laura

[finding_laura]

You ok Monica? You are quiet tonight. Did you get away for your weekend with your daugther? Thinking about you. Praying for strength for you. I’m hoping something comes through for you soon that will move things along in your favour. Kin is so right. You have enormous strength.

[finding_laura]

I think we all feel sorry after we start to come back from the brink this addiction drives us to. Sorry for a lot of the things we’ve done. But you should never feel sorry for reaching out to this community for support. I am glad to hear you sounding a little better. Tiny little steps and improvements in the beginning. But it is a start. Take care of you. Heal. I hope they provide you with the supports you need to move forward. Laura

[finding_laura]

안녕하세요 리즈, 당신이 맞습니다. 그렇게 해야 합니다. 당신의 어머니가 당신에게 손을 들었다는 것이 믿기지 않습니다. 그리고 당신의 팔에 아기와 함께! 정말 속상할 것입니다. 대부분의 시간 동안 거리를 유지해야 하는 것은 당연합니다. 도박 이외의 감정에 대처하는 방법을 찾으셨다니 다행입니다! 확인해주셔서 감사합니다. 당신은 그녀의 행동이 아니라 당신의 행동이나 반응을 통제할 수 있습니다. 주어진 상황에서 최선을 다하고 있다는 사실을 계속 기억하십시오. 좋은 밤 리즈

[finding_laura]

Bună Liz, ai dreptate. Ar trebui să fie așa. Nu pot să cred că mama ta a ridicat mâna spre tine. Și cu un copil în brațe, de asemenea! Ar fi teribil de supărător. Nu e de mirare că trebuie să păstrezi distanța de cele mai multe ori. Mă bucur că ați găsit o modalitate de a face față sentimentelor, altele decât jocurile de noroc! Vă mulțumim că ne-ați anunțat că ați făcut bine. Vă puteți controla acțiunile sau reacțiile, nu comportamentul ei. Continuați să știți că faceți tot ce puteți mai bine cu circumstanța care vi s-a dat. Noapte bună Liz

[finding_laura]

Γεια σου Λιζ, έχεις δίκιο. Θα έπρεπε να είναι έτσι. Δεν μπορώ να πιστέψω ότι η μητέρα σου σήκωσε το χέρι της σε σένα. Και με ένα μωρό στην αγκαλιά σου επίσης! Αυτό θα ήταν τρομερά αναστατωτικό. Δεν είναι περίεργο που πρέπει να κρατάτε τις αποστάσεις σας τις περισσότερες φορές. Χαίρομαι που βρήκατε έναν τρόπο να αντιμετωπίσετε τα συναισθήματα εκτός από τον τζόγο! Ευχαριστούμε που μας ενημερώσατε ότι είστε εντάξει. Μπορείτε να ελέγξετε τις πράξεις ή τις αντιδράσεις σας και όχι τη συμπεριφορά της. Συνεχίστε να γνωρίζετε ότι κάνετε ό, τι καλύτερο μπορείτε με τις περιστάσεις που σας δόθηκαν. Καληνύχτα Λιζ

[finding_laura]

Oi Liz, você está certa. Deve ser assim. Não acredito que sua mãe levantou a mão para você. E com um bebê nos braços também! Isso seria terrivelmente perturbador. Não é à toa que você precisa manter distância na maior parte do tempo. Estou feliz que você encontrou uma maneira de lidar com os sentimentos além do jogo! Obrigado por nos informar que você se deu bem. Você pode controlar suas ações ou reações, não o comportamento dela. Continue sabendo que você está fazendo o melhor que pode com as circunstâncias que lhe foram dadas. Boa noite liz

[finding_laura]

Merhaba Liz, haklısın. Böyle olmalı. Annenin sana elini kaldırdığına inanamıyorum. Hem de kucağında bir bebekle! Bu çok üzücü olurdu. Çoğu zaman mesafenizi korumak zorunda olmanıza şaşmamalı. Kumardan başka duygularla başa çıkmanın bir yolunu bulduğunuza sevindim! İyi çıktığını bize bildirdiğin için teşekkürler. Davranışlarını veya tepkilerini kontrol edemezsin. Devam edin, size verilen şartlarla elinizden gelenin en iyisini yaptığınızı bilin. iyi geceler Liz

[finding_laura]

ਹੈਲੋ ਲੀਜ਼, ਤੁਸੀਂ ਸਹੀ ਹੋ. ਇਹ ਇਸ ਤਰ੍ਹਾਂ ਹੋਣਾ ਚਾਹੀਦਾ ਹੈ. ਮੈਂ ਵਿਸ਼ਵਾਸ ਨਹੀਂ ਕਰ ਸਕਦਾ ਕਿ ਤੁਹਾਡੀ ਮਾਂ ਨੇ ਤੁਹਾਡੇ ਵੱਲ ਹੱਥ ਉਠਾਇਆ. ਅਤੇ ਤੁਹਾਡੀ ਬਾਂਹ ਵਿੱਚ ਇੱਕ ਬੱਚੇ ਦੇ ਨਾਲ! ਇਹ ਬਹੁਤ ਹੀ ਪਰੇਸ਼ਾਨ ਕਰਨ ਵਾਲਾ ਹੋਵੇਗਾ. ਕੋਈ ਹੈਰਾਨੀ ਦੀ ਗੱਲ ਨਹੀਂ ਕਿ ਤੁਹਾਨੂੰ ਆਪਣੀ ਦੂਰੀ ਨੂੰ ਜ਼ਿਆਦਾਤਰ ਸਮਾਂ ਰੱਖਣਾ ਪੈਂਦਾ ਹੈ. ਮੈਨੂੰ ਖੁਸ਼ੀ ਹੈ ਕਿ ਤੁਸੀਂ ਜੂਏਬਾਜ਼ੀ ਤੋਂ ਇਲਾਵਾ ਹੋਰ ਭਾਵਨਾਵਾਂ ਨਾਲ ਸਿੱਝਣ ਦਾ ਤਰੀਕਾ ਲੱਭ ਲਿਆ ਹੈ! ਸਾਨੂੰ ਇਹ ਦੱਸਣ ਲਈ ਧੰਨਵਾਦ ਕਿ ਤੁਸੀਂ ਠੀਕ ਹੋ ਗਏ ਹੋ. ਤੁਸੀਂ ਆਪਣੇ ਕੰਮਾਂ ਜਾਂ ਪ੍ਰਤੀਕਰਮਾਂ ਨੂੰ ਨਿਯੰਤਰਿਤ ਕਰ ਸਕਦੇ ਹੋ ਨਾ ਕਿ ਉਸਦੇ ਵਿਵਹਾਰ ਨੂੰ. ਇਹ ਜਾਣਦੇ ਰਹੋ ਕਿ ਜੋ ਹਾਲਾਤ ਤੁਹਾਨੂੰ ਦਿੱਤੇ ਗਏ ਹਨ ਉਸ ਨਾਲ ਤੁਸੀਂ ਸਭ ਤੋਂ ਵਧੀਆ ਕਰ ਰਹੇ ਹੋ. ਸ਼ੁਭ ਰਾਤ ਲੀਜ਼

[finding_laura]

Hi Liz,
you are right. It should be like that. I can’t believe your mother raised her hand to you. And with a baby in your arms as well! That would be terribly upsetting. No wonder you have to keep your distance most of the time. I’m glad you found a way to cope with the feelings other than gambling! Thanks for letting us know you made out ok. You can control your actions or reactions not her behaviour. Keep going know that you are doing the best you can with the circumstance you have been given. Good night Liz

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