[Dark Energy]

Day#6,

[Dark Energy]

Day#5, and the 70th since the last gambling loss.
I have convinced my broker to exclude me and prevent me permanently from opening an account with them. they confirmed that and they said now I can’t open an account with them again.
I hope they are honest and they have done something irrevokable in their system, but frankly, I have doubts about that but I am not gonna test it.

[Dark Energy]

Day#4

[Dark Energy]

Day#3

[Dark Energy]

thanks sunny,

Day#2

[Dark Energy]

well, I have to admit it again it is Day#1.
I didn’t lose money, in fact, I gain some but it was a stressful week.
Meghna wrote up I should start from day#1 she was right. I can’t keep the count, my mental state has been changed for a week as of now.

the long story :
I didn’t stop, by the 3rd day I was in 800$ loss, I decided I have to stop I sent an email to the broker requesting them to do a self-exclusion for me. frankly, they don’t know how to do it they don’t have this option in brokerage accounts, however, they reply we will send your request to the concerned division and get back to you.
in the day after, I have continued trading managed to put some amount in my account and I did a good trade on the gold that covered my losses, I have continued trading as a total I was in profit of 900$. the correct action is to pull everything out and wait for their response, but I am a gambler so what I did is pulled all my original capital plus some winnings and kept the 500$ to trade with. in the middle of the day I tried to open some trades but the app was not accepting them I checked my email and figured out that they have blocked my trading accounts and requests me to withdraw the money so they can close all my accounts permanently.
I felt with great relief, it is over now. I have a good win and no way to trade again.

but and always there is a “but ” from their email I figured out they have blocked the active account and they are waiting for me to withdraw the money to close the wallet so … maybe I could be able to open a new account and to transfer the money to it and continue trading for one more day because I was seeing a good move on gold, and yes it works, and it ends up losing the money that I kept on the trading account.

well, it over now, no money to be withdrawn, so I have sent them an email to continue the process of putting me in self-exclusion I hope they can do it.

[Dark Energy]

Day#59.
I diss agree with you Meghna I don’t feel like day#2 I am not sad, depressed ..etc like what I used to feel after each relapse. I really feel like day#59.

[Dark Energy]

Day#58
yesterday I had a small slip, I didn’t lose any money, just I have wasted one day in trading pulled out my original amount, and lost what I have won in the morning.
a review of what happened.
1: frankly I saw this coming, for the past 5 days I was tempted daily to put a small amount of money and trade for one day “with the foolish hope that I will double it, and if I stop after one day nothing will happen”.
2: I have resisted the temptations for 4 days but on the 5th I fail. even sending the extra money from my salary away didn’t protect me “the brain circuit for trading was triggered”.
3:so yesterday I squeezed my budget more and opened my account again” the verification didn’t take more than 30 min” and deposited that extra money.
4:I did some high-risk trades win pulled my original capital and left what I won to trade more.
5: I didn’t stop as planned ” as usual”. and for some reason, I didn’t want to pull this money out, frankly I wanted to lose it, if I won I will repeat this again but now it is over.
6: hangover: it just one day and I didn’t lose money but I am having the gambling hangover feeling today. I have the feeling like I was trading for a few weeks with all the tension and pressure that comes with it.

well, that’s it, it was a long day I am not gonna start the count from zero because I didn’t lose any money and I am feeling I already got a new push for recovery.

[Dark Energy]

Day#56

[Dark Energy]

thank you kin for your support.
totally agree with what you said, for us, the drug is money keeping that extra money is like keeping a drink in front of an alcohol addict.
you can’t keep alcohol in front of an alcohol addict and ask him to not drink. he can resist for a while but the bell will continue ringing in his head (drink it, drink it …until he fails).

but damn you can avoid dealing with alcohol but you can’t avoid dealing with money.

Day#55

• This reply was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by Dark Energy.

[Dark Energy]

Day#54

[Dark Energy]

Day#53

Today was my payday so I had this foolish idea to deposit only the extra amount that left from the salary after paying all the bills and after putting aside my monthly expenses. and to trade only for today and stop.
what saved me is the thought that “it is all about the first bet ” it is easier to resist placing that first bet if you compare it with trying to stop after placing it.
I get rid of this extra money and now I am safe for another month.
but damn, I am really afraid of keeping any extra money with me.

[Dark Energy]

Day#52

[Dark Energy]

Day#51,

still didn’t get used to this new update on the forum.
frankly, I like the old version.

[Dark Energy]

Day#50,
I am glad to reach the 50 days mark. for the last 11 months I failed to cross the 40 days mark.
life is smiling to me again.

[Author]

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