[Dark Energy]

Day#14,
Two weeks passed, and today I had some urges to trade again but the barriers helped me.
Overall everything looks fine and looking forward to the 3 weeks mark.

[Dark Energy]

Day#13,
all going well, I hope the count will continue, my work performance and focus are increasing and my self-esteem is increasing as well.

[Dark Energy]

Day#12,
get extra money on hand, but it didn’t trigger any urges yet, the additional blockers that I add this time are working fine, busy at work fully engaged.
things are moving in the right direction.

[Dark Energy]

Day#11,

[Dark Energy]

Money, let’s talk about it. because I believe we have the same issue.

with money, I always end up in this loop.
A. after a gambling relapse, I will lose every penny that I have access to.
B. being in that condition will trigger all my insecurities, what if I lost my job, what if I get sick or a family member gets sick, alongside with the insecurities comes the hopes and dreams, I need to move to a better house, I need to get married, I need to grow up financially.
C. as a fast solution I will take a loan, either to keep it as an emergency saving or to arrange my financial situation like combining loans or buying a car, or use that money for investment ..etc
D. and I end up with some good amount of money under my control, and this will trigger the urge to trade, what if I put 1000$ into my trading account.. and we all know the result. I will back again to point A, and the loop continue.

I need to break this loop.

[Dark Energy]

Day#10,
2 digits again, I am busy in my life, indifferent to gambling, I love this state of mind, being normal, focusing on my life, not worried about the market going up or down.

I hope this trial will last for a long time because I really need 2 to 3 years of abstinence to sort my issues out.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by Dark Energy.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by Dark Energy.

[Dark Energy]

this is inspiring from addict to millionaire

[Dark Energy]

Day#9,
today is the 1st day of my weight loss plan, in general, everything is calm and stable, and my mood is good.
as long as I am not relapsing everything will be better. but it takes time. it is 7 years of addiction and recovery trials it is not possible to overcome all of that damage in days or months even, I think 2 to 3 years would be a realistic period.

[Dark Energy]

Day#8,

[Dark Energy]

Day#7,
the first week is passed.
I am glad that my mood is good today as well and I am focused at work, I am enjoying the small rewarding feedback that comes from work.
I hope the rest of my days to be like today, living normally without the tension of gambling, without the complete separation of reality that the gambling will put me in “I call it a gambling coma, for days or weeks I will be just in a coma all what I am doing is gambling”, and without the depression that comes after the game is over.

gambling relapse and without the

[Dark Energy]

oh today is Day#6 not 5, lool

[Dark Energy]

Day#5,
I am feeling good today, got a lot of work done at work, and I had a good sleep yesterday.
I think the withdrawal symptoms are faded away, now I have just to deal with the PAWS that will come from time to time.

yesterday after combining all my relapses, I figured out that out of the last 7 years since I get hooked with this addiction cumulatively I lived only 2 to 3 years maximum, the rest was wasted in gambling addiction or depression after the addiction. no wonder I didn’t progress in life,

I have relapsed on an average once every 45 days to 2 months, and the relapse will continue from a week to 3 weeks, followed by depression that will last for 1 week or 2 weeks, so roughly I can say for each month of the last 7 years I lived a week or 10 days maximum as a functional human being. and it is even worst than that because for that 1 week to 10days I will be suffering financially from the losses that will prevent me from living normally.

given the above, I am not wondering why I didn’t progress in life or work or any aspect of life, how you can do any progress if you are living in such a cycle for all these years.
I am really glad that I didn’t lose my job during that period.

[Dark Energy]

I have counted how many times I have relapsed in this thread I count 10 times from 4-May-2020 to 13-April-2022, and the actual number is more because there is some period that I didn’t post in and I remember a few relapses during that period also.
I took the snapshots of these posts and some other painful posts and I am compiling them.
but damn it is a very painful experience to read all these posts again.

[Dark Energy]

Hi Jvr,
I hope you will get better soon, I had covid before 9 months. the danger here is the isolation I had to stay for two weeks at home and I can’t go out, all that free time triggered the urges to gamble and I have relapsed during that period.
take care, and keep yourself busy and distracted from the gambling thoughts.
hope you all the best

[Dark Energy]

Hi Losingitslowly,
sorry for your relapse, I hope you all the best in this fresh start.

[Author]

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