[caribbean blue]

안녕하세요, 죄송합니다. 매우 어려운 결정입니다. 저는 최근 5년 반 동안 도박을 해온 남편과 별거했습니다. 상담을 받고 도움을 받을 수 있는 기회를 많이 주었습니다. 너무 많은 일이 일어났고 나는 매우 감정적입니다. 당신은 당신, 당신의 아이들, 당신의 온전함과 안녕을 위해 최선을 다해야 합니다. 이 모든 것을 하는 사람을 사랑하기는 어렵고 남편의 경우 도박을 좋아한다고 말합니다. 그래도 나는 그와 떨어져 있는 것이 더 좋다. 나는 도박 주기에 얽매이지 않습니다. 강한 유지.

[caribbean blue]

Hai, maaf Anda akan melalui ini. Ini adalah keputusan yang sangat sulit untuk dibuat. Saya baru saja berpisah dari suami saya yang telah berjudi selama 5 1/2 tahun terakhir. Saya telah memberinya banyak kesempatan untuk pergi ke konseling dan mendapatkan bantuan. Terlalu banyak yang telah terjadi dan saya sangat emosional. Anda harus melakukan yang terbaik untuk Anda, anak-anak Anda, dan kewarasan serta kesejahteraan Anda. Sulit untuk mencintai seseorang yang melakukan semua ini dan dalam kasus suami saya mengatakan kepada saya bahwa dia suka berjudi. Tapi aku merasa lebih baik berpisah darinya. Saya tidak terjebak dalam siklus perjudian. Tetap kuat.

[caribbean blue]

ہیلو ، معذرت آپ اس کے ذریعے جا رہے ہیں۔ یہ بہت مشکل فیصلہ ہے۔ میں حال ہی میں اپنے شوہر سے الگ ہوا ہوں جو پچھلے 5 1/2 سال سے جوا کھیل رہا ہے۔ میں نے اسے مشورے پر جانے اور مدد لینے کے بہت سے مواقع فراہم کیے ہیں۔ بہت زیادہ ہوا ہے اور میں بہت جذباتی ہوں۔ آپ کو وہی کرنا ہے جو آپ کے لیے بہتر ہو ، آپ کے بچے اور آپ کی ذہانت اور فلاح و بہبود۔ کسی سے محبت کرنا مشکل ہے جو یہ سب کرتا ہے اور میرے شوہر کے معاملے میں مجھے بتاتا ہے کہ وہ جوئے سے محبت کرتا ہے۔ اگرچہ میں اس سے الگ رہنا بہتر محسوس کرتا ہوں۔ میں جوئے کے چکر میں نہیں پھنسا۔ مضبوط رکھنے.

[caribbean blue]

Sveiki, atvainojiet, ka ejat cauri šim. Tas ir ļoti grūts lēmums. Es nesen esmu šķīrusies no sava vīra, kurš pēdējos 5 1/2 gadus nodarbojas ar azartspēlēm. Esmu devis viņam daudzas iespējas doties uz konsultācijām un saņemt palīdzību. Tomēr ir noticis pārāk daudz, un es esmu ļoti emocionāls. Jums jādara viss, kas jums, jūsu bērniem un jūsu saprātam un labklājībai ir vislabākais. Ir grūti mīlēt kādu, kurš to visu dara, un mana vīra gadījumā man saka, ka viņam patīk azartspēles. Tomēr es jūtos labāk, būdams atsevišķi no viņa. Es neesmu ierauts azartspēļu ciklā. Esi stiprs.

[caribbean blue]

Hola, siento que estés pasando por esto. Es una decisión muy difícil de tomar. Recientemente me separé de mi esposo, quien ha estado jugando durante los últimos 5 años y medio. Le he dado muchas oportunidades de ir a terapia y obtener ayuda. Sin embargo, han pasado demasiadas cosas y estoy muy emocionado. Tienes que hacer lo que sea mejor para ti, tus hijos y tu cordura y bienestar. Es difícil amar a alguien que hace todo esto y en el caso de mi esposo me dice que le encanta apostar. Sin embargo, me siento mejor estando separado de él. No estoy atrapado en el ciclo del juego. Mantener fuerte.

[caribbean blue]

Salut, désolé que tu passes par là. C'est une décision très difficile à prendre. Je suis récemment séparée de mon mari qui joue depuis 5 ans et demi. Je lui ai donné de nombreuses occasions de consulter et d'obtenir de l'aide. Il s'est passé trop de choses et je suis très émotif. Vous devez faire ce qui est le mieux pour vous, vos enfants, votre santé mentale et votre bien-être. C'est dur d'aimer quelqu'un qui fait tout ça et dans le cas de mon mari me dit qu'il aime jouer. Cependant, je me sens mieux d'être séparé de lui. Je ne suis pas pris dans le cycle du jeu. Reste fort.

[caribbean blue]

Oi, desculpe, você está passando por isso. É uma decisão muito difícil de tomar. Recentemente, fui separada do meu marido, que tem jogado nos últimos 5 anos e meio. Eu dei a ele muitas chances de ir para aconselhamento e obter ajuda. Porém, muita coisa aconteceu e estou muito emocionado. Você tem que fazer o que é melhor para você, seus filhos e sua sanidade e bem-estar. É difícil amar alguém que faz tudo isso e no caso do meu marido me diz que adora jogar. Eu me sinto melhor longe dele, no entanto. Não estou preso no ciclo do jogo. Continue forte.

[caribbean blue]

Hi, skużani li sejjer minn dan. Hija deċiżjoni iebsa ħafna li tieħu. Dan l-aħħar jien separat minn żewġi li ilu jilgħab għal dawn l-aħħar 5 snin u nofs. Jien tajtu ħafna opportunitajiet biex imur għall-pariri u biex inġib l-għajnuna. Madankollu ġara wisq u jien emozzjonat ħafna. Int trid tagħmel dak li hu l-aħjar għalik, għat-tfal tiegħek u għas-sanità u l-benesseri tiegħek. Huwa diffiċli li tħobb lil xi ħadd li jagħmel dan kollu u fil-każ ta ’żewġi jgħidli li jħobb il-logħob tal-azzard. Jien inħossni aħjar li ninsab barra minnu għalkemm. M'iniex maqbud fiċ-ċiklu tal-logħob tal-azzard. Żomm qawwi.

[caribbean blue]

Hi I don’t enable my husband anymore. 100% of the household bills are in my name so I will pay them no matter what. The credit card debt is on my cards so I have to at least make the minimum payments. I am not going to not pay a bill to make a point to him as it is my credit. I don’t give him money for the personal bills that are in his name. If he doesn’t pay them, they don’t get paid or he borrows from his friends. I can manage on my own meaning pay bills, my gas and my food. His wage would help so much to get those bills paid down so much quicker. I’m impatient in waitng for him to say he is going to get some help. I don’t see too many options. We stay together and wait for him to want help or ask him to leave. 

[caribbean blue]

Hi

Part of my issue is that I have no control over what he does and if he ends up helping with the bills. It is hard for me. The feeling of hopelessness.

I do have control over our bills and everything is in my name. My credit is still good but I am at the point now that I really just want to start paying down my credit card bills. We could do it so quick if he would help out. Living month to month is tight if he does not chip in but I can get by. The thing is I don’t want to just get by any more. I want to get ahead and move on from this spot we are in.

I did go to my doctor and have changed a few things in my life and they seem to be helping. It is a hard road though and my emotions go up and down.

I am just so impatience right now.

[caribbean blue]

Hi It has been a roller coaster of emotions the last couple of weeks. I have additional stress from family and my job so the issue with my husband can put me over the edge.

My husband actually spoke to a counsellor not actually went to a group meeting. His friend goes to AA and he referred him. My husband does not have a drinking problem but the counsellor spoke to him anyway. My husband said he will not go again and did not talk much about it and seemed defensive. I did not push it as eventually he may talk about it.

Last night we spoke again about his problem and he did open up a bit more and what I got from the conversation is he is very depressed and just does not seem hopeful. He seems to think the money he makes is not enough even if he works overtime it won’t help to pay off the debt he owes. He has this time table to pay things off and it is not realistic. He wants a quick fix.

I offered to go to couples counselling with him and even talked about hotlines and online help but he seems to think no one will be able to help him and he is the only one that can help himself. Not sure how to help him from here.

[caribbean blue]

It has been awhile since I have posted. Things were going pretty good. My husband had cut back on his gambling not totally quit though. He was contributing every payday and had found a balance on his own to pay for his own gas and not have too much pocket change between pay days. He would give me money for groceries and to pay against the debt.

We went to his daughters high school graduation out of town a few months ago and he worked overtime to get the extra money needed. Something has changed the past two months though. He is back to gambling his whole check in a couple of days and not coming home. Avoiding me of course.

I have changed a lot in the past year and see my growth but I find my patience is thin and I will not tolerate the same things as last year. Two months has been too much for me this year and I told him so. Not going back to that again.

I said he needed to decide if he wanted to gamble or be married and he said marriage but I see now that I should have worded that different. He would not actually pick gambling and say that to my face.

He told me yesterday that he went to a meeting but we have yet to talk about it as yesterday we had Thanksgiving dinner and we were with company shortly after he arrived home.

I totally don’t believe that he went and feel bad thinking that but he does lie and he knows I am at my wits end.

The talk will be tonight though. Its a hard road and don’t 100% know if I have the strength to do this.

[caribbean blue]

My husband as well gets paid on Friday and I am not sure if he will contribute to the credit card debt which is his responsibility. Payday should be a good thing but over the past 15 months has become a stressful time.

I look at my husband differently and have lost some respect for him as well. I have even told him so when he was in a good frame of mind. He was sadden by this and I do see him being more emotionally supportive and following through more. It is a day by day thing though.

You can find Gam Anon online for your city/country. I have not gone yet but I did find it for the city/country I live in. You should also be able to call the helpline on this website for information on Gam Anon and counselling services.

Only you know your breaking point. I wonder as well when or if that will come for me. I have changed the way I communicate with my husband so he is responding different. I stay calm and say what I have to say confidently. If he gets defensive I tell him we can continue this later. I do not want to give in to the “protective” gambler addict.

Take care

[caribbean blue]

Thanks for the reply on my thread. I thought I would add to yours now. My heart goes out to you and your son.

It is hard to put yourself first when you have been caring and trying to help a CG. I hit my rock bottom last month and told myself no more. I had to change my life because my husband was not going to and I can not live like that anymore. I have started to work out again. The cardio is really good for anxiety and depression. I meditate and do yoga and write in a journal. I can see a difference in myself and notice that making decisions and saying no becomes easier and there is no second guessing my decision. It is hard to let someone you love make these poor choices and then beat themselves up over them but we have no control over that.

Focus on yourself and do what you can to relax and bring you some balance to your life. Have you tried talking to a counsellor who specializes in gambling addictions or going to Gam-Anon?

[caribbean blue]

The past 2 days having been draining for me. My husband is getting low on gas. I don’t give him cash to fill up anymore and I know by going to the gas station and putting gas in his car it is still enabling him. He commutes 1.5 to 2 hours a day by car so riding a bike, walking or taking a bus is not an option because of where he works and he also works nights.

He asked me for gas money yesterday. I wanted to know how many days he can go a full tank. He got mad and texted that he would figure something out himself. I did not respond and assumed he would borrow money from a friend.

This morning I left for work and he was still sleeping. He called later asking me about the gas money. I told him I thought he had it covered from his text message. He was mad, he went off on a tangent and I just listened. He went over how much he put in to the bills last pay day and that he told me to set aside 100 for gas and I probably forgot that. Well I told him calmly that he did not say that and that in the future he needs to set more money aside for his gas then. Then off he goes again saying that I am trying to teach him a life lesson… on and on. I told him I would “borrow” him 20 for gas (which I know I shouldn’t have). I normally don’t say borrow so I wanted to see what he would say. He did not like it and said he would figure it out himself. He did not get what he wanted.

These simple things seem to be so hard. He was acting exactly how Vera said, selective memory, distorted thinking and very moody.

This can be so tiring and draining.

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