[Callmecrazy]

Hi,
I can relate to living in a country that is not the US, UK or some other developed country and coping with a gambling problem. I have issues with the closed mindedness of where I live and there really is no real help for a gambling problem.

I do know a few things about audits. Some auditors are very good, some suck and can’t put 2 and 2 together no matter how much they try.

Have you been using money from your work to gamble? Could you perhaps ask for a bank loan and put the money back into the cash register?

[Callmecrazy]

Good job everyone on staying gamble free.!

I myself am struggling and gambling and losing my sanity, my money and my life.

I feel like I passed my point of no return and nothing else in my life is functioning. I’m tired of always being alone, strong and having no one to rely on. My horses are the only thing keeping me above water.

Tomorrow I will be commiting myself again to my recovery one day at a time.

[Callmecrazy]

Hi RG,
I’m going to do that too. Remind myself every day gambling is tiresome and does nothing to make my life better.

When it comes to gambling I really am a monster. I lose all control. I’m capable of gambling away my whole month’s salary in a matter of two days. I do not trust myself. The minute I press the button all my worries go away.

[Callmecrazy]

I spent the afternoon registering to a casino and immediately self – excluding. It’s exhausting and triggering in the beginning. Afterwards it gets better. I’m still under the impression of not enjoying gambling so I am able to do it. Some sites are really alluring, those are the hardest to self-exclude from.
Anyway, I covered 30 of the most dangerous for me to gamble on today. Found 4 more which I will do tomorrow. The good thing is I only need to self-exclude from the maestro card accepting casinos. If I hadn’t covered Mastercard by scratching off the CVC numbers I would truly be screwed because I wholeheartedly DO NOT trust myself. That’s how bad my addiction is. I’m a monster. If I were a billionare I would only gamble and buy horses until I drove myself into poverty. Probably play tennis too.

So it’s another day gone by.

[Callmecrazy]

Self – excluded from a couple of more. I’m too tired to continue on more today.
It’s funny, 10 years ago when I wasn’t gambling as much, I had issues with real casinos. At the time I wasn’t playing online. One day I had had enough of losing to casinos and I swore never to enter a casino again. Where I live there was no such thing as a self ban. This was pure will on my part plus the fact I never went alone. I broke ties with the person I used to go with, deeming the relationship too destructive. The thing is, I have no issues with real casinos anymore. I’m not tempted to enter one and I walk past them without problems. This is proof IT CAN BE DONE if we stay away and put in enough time for our brains to recover.

Good night everyone. Stay strong!

I am the world’s worst gambler. I can lose a thousand a night, not win ever (the most I ever won was 2400 euro) and still not be able to stop. I don’t think I even enjoy gambling. Yet I still have A HUGE problem.

So, you’re not alone. One day at a time.

[Callmecrazy]

But I ‘m determined to stop the gambling, whatever it takes.

[Callmecrazy]

I ‘m not yet gamble free as I relapsed Sunday but I’m working on building blocks and barriers. I also gambled today while I was self excluding from sites. The first one that offered no deposit spins got to me right away! I have to register to self-exclude so it’s tough work. Some sites are nice to block me from all the casinos operated by them, others require I self – exclude from each site seperately. The process is triggering, especially when you come upon a well organized and fast site. But it has to be done! Blockers don’t work for me, they wreck havoc on my phone and it took me 5 minutes to get past one and gamble.
Today I’ve excluded myself from 12 sites I had never used. Plan to do a couple of more before bedtime. I have 29 casinos on my to self – exclude list only from one operator. It’s hell.

[Callmecrazy]

I haven’t reported in yesterday as my high interest loan went through and I didn’t want to, in anyway, trigger myself until the money was directed to paying off bills I’m behind on.

Now that this has been accomplished I’m on a very tight budget. I might be a little short this month on cash but this is something very manageable. I decided to unclogg my life so I will be putting some items on sale.

As for today, I have a big task to do. I’m going to register to as many casinos online possible and immediately ask to be self – excluded. I only need to do this for casinos that accept maestro payments as my mastercard can’t be used for online payments anymore (the CVC number on the back of my card have been scratched off by a friend). This is very safe for me to do today as I only have 15 euros to my account until my pay goes through Monday.

[Callmecrazy]

Thanks guys.

It was a concious decesion. I wanted to help myself because I wanted to avoid applying for a new high interest loan. I failed. As if casinos are willing to part with their money! I wish I stopped at 150 euro loss though, but I didn’t. I didn’t enjoy the gambling, I was nervous, agitated and only wanted to win. After this ordeal that took place Sunday, the difference now is that I have to take out a 2000 euro high interest loan instead of a 1500 euro high interest loan the reason being I need to catch up on what I’m behind on and draw the line to be able to budget on a monthly basis.

The good news is I can still afford my horses, and I need them because they’re my life line. The bad news is everything else has to be on a very strict and tight budget. I also need to keep my bank transactions free of gambling sites for the next 3 months in order to be elegible for a lower interest loan to refinance my debts if wanted. I talked to a financial counselor today, there was no use of postponing this even though I had been dreading it.

I’m not going to start counting my gamble free days from day 1. I’m still on day 16 of my recovery, even if I gambled. I started training horses and riding frequently again so I did learn something – how to fill up my time in a less destructive and a satisfying way.

My high interest loan will go through tomorrow, and even though I hate getting one, it will relieve some of the financial stress I’m going through. Because THAT I’m having a hard time handling and it is urging me to gamble.

Another good thing is, I’ll be earning some extra money August and my father will be giving me some money for my annual car repairs June. Thank God he always has extra. As much as I hate relying on others, I really need the help.

[Callmecrazy]

So I gambled today. Put in 25 lost and gambled until I was down 400 and then self – excluded.

What did I learn? Nothing.

[Callmecrazy]

Everything will be okay.
I know at your age your debt seems ovewhelming but it’s not that bad. It will be okay. I lost 50 k to gambling. You don’t want to be me. It’s good that you’ve reached out for help. You are here in time.
Gambling will only throw you deeper into debt and misery. That’s why it is imperative that you stop. Everything else will turn out fine. Don’t worry but do stop gambling today.

[Callmecrazy]

Good to see you posting. You had disappeared for a while and I was afraid you might have gone gambling. That’s me projecting because that’s what I would have probably done. Afterwards feeling too guilty and ashamed to come back.

Congrats on 2 weeks. One day at a time. 🙂

[Callmecrazy]

I’m out of words of encouragement for today but stay strong.
You’re only 31 and you can still change your life around by 35 or 40 and forget this ordeal ever happened to you. Believe me, you’ll still be young. I’m 40 now and don’t feel a day older than 25. In a way I’m younger now than I was at 30. I feel more liberated, am less hard on myself and laugh at people that take life too seriously. The ability to not take life too seriously is a gift given to us by going through an experience such as gambling. At the end of the day, it’s freedom. Don’t let that gift be weight down by gambling debt. Stop now.

[Callmecrazy]

I talk to my horse all the time. Not necessarily about gambling. Sometimes it’s a friendly bicker between old friends.
That’s why people like me are refered to as “horse freaks”. 🙂

[Callmecrazy]

I’m doing okay but having some very strong urges to gamble. I’m panicking about money. I had spent the whole day at my horse club, had two beers and a meal. I spent 10 euros. Maybe I shouldn’t have. I’m home now, 9 pm. Still feeling I should gamble for 25 but don’t feel like going through the whole process of registering to a casino, verfying my account, finding a casino that accepts maestro payments etc. I ‘ve self – excluded from all casinos I used to play at which basically means I’m guaranteed to lose even if I were to win because of the time it would take to go through the whole verification process.

Another issue is how much can you really win for 25? I would have to go through a lot of spins, through a lot of machines, through a lot of hours of play. This means that the gambling demon inside me I have been fighting to cage would certainly come unleashed. There is no way I could come out of a 25 deposit without bringing myself back to day 1.

The best option for me right now is to pop an anti – anxiety pill, fall asleep and hope there is something nice for me waiting around the corner. That is, if I hang in there. A new job, better pay, a nice boyfriend, inheritence from a long lost relative… who knows… ? The list can be endless. 

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