[Callmecrazy]

Hos meg kommer problemet fra at jeg ikke klarer å miste. Jeg har bare problemer med spilleautomater. Ingenting annet interesserer meg. Mesteparten av tiden kan jeg slutte å spille før jeg går utover mitt månedlige budsjett. Ikke budsjettet jeg hadde til hensikt å spille, jeg går alltid for langt med det, men mitt månedlige budsjett for alt. Jeg stopper, men jeg lar meg deprimert, skamfull, trøtt osv … Så kommer dagen da jeg ikke kan og ikke vil takle bakrus, depresjon, skam etc. og jeg ikke slutter. Det er da jeg mister kontrollen helt. Den dagen kommer alltid.

[Callmecrazy]

Nálam a probléma abból adódik, hogy nem tudom kezelni a veszteséget. Nekem csak a résekkel van problémám. Semmi más nem érdekel. Az idő nagy részében abba tudom hagyni a játékot, mielőtt túllépem a havi költségvetésemet. Nem a szerencsejátékokra szánt költségvetés, ezzel mindig túlzok, de mindenre a havi költségvetésem. Megállok, de depressziósan, szégyenkezve, fáradtan stb. Elmegyek … Aztán eljön a nap, amikor nem tudom és nem akarom kezelni a másnaposságot, a depressziót, a szégyent stb., És nem hagyom abba. Ekkor teljesen elveszítem az irányítást. Ez a nap mindig eljön.

[Callmecrazy]

Hos mig kommer problemet från att inte klara av att förlora. Jag har bara problem med slots. Inget annat intresserar mig. Merparten av tiden kan jag sluta spela innan jag går utöver min månadsbudget. Inte den budget jag hade för spel, jag går alltid över bord med det, utan min månadsbudget för allt. Jag slutar men jag lämnar deprimerad, skämd, trött osv … Sen kommer dagen då jag inte kan och inte vill hantera baksmälla, depression, skam etc. och jag slutar inte. Det är då jag helt tappar kontrollen. Den dagen kommer alltid.

[Callmecrazy]

У меня проблема в том, что я не могу справиться с проигрышем. У меня проблемы только со слотами. Меня больше ничего не интересует. В большинстве случаев я могу перестать играть до того, как выйду за пределы своего ежемесячного бюджета. Не тот бюджет, который я планировал для азартных игр, я всегда переборщил с этим, а мой ежемесячный бюджет на все. Я останавливаюсь, но выхожу из себя в депрессии, стыде, усталости и т. Д. Затем наступает день, когда я не могу и не хочу справляться с похмельем, депрессией, стыдом и т. Д., И я не останавливаюсь. Вот когда я полностью теряю контроль. Этот день наступает всегда.

[Callmecrazy]

I have been seeing a therapist regularly for the past 10 yrs. Recently I asked to be put on antidepressants but I’m still feeling low. I know that I have a hard time with my finances being a mess and that’s exactly what I did to them. I can stand paying monthly installments to loans but I have a hard time tolerating my finances being a mess. They’re a mess when I have bills coming in for which I don’t have the means to cover them. Until that is settled I won’t know how I’m feeling about other stuff in my life. My depression is mostly linked to being stuck in a job I don’t like but having debts to pay. There is no way out.

[Callmecrazy]

Don’t give your money to the casino. The slot machines are an escape but they are bandits. There is nothing you can win there.

You’re paying them big money to sing and that’s all. You can shove hundreds down those suckers and they won’t give you a single bonus round. If by some chance you do get a bonus round, the amount you win is 6.00 $ after literally spending hundreds.

And the more you shove down them, the less you get. It’s happened to me hundreds of times. The person that invented them should be jailed.

[Callmecrazy]

I’m feeling very restless. I think once my bank loan goes through next week, I’ll be feeling better. I can’t stand knowing I have debts and bills coming in that I won’t be able to pay. I keep track of my budget and what goes where and when and now I’m in a situation where I’m unable to meet this and it’s making me worry unnecessary. I have a pre-approved bank loan coming in next week, yet still I worry.

[Callmecrazy]

Yesterday, two things happened that might have triggered this.

– I lost 80 euro. Not at a casino but from my pocket. Or I had put them somewhere and don’t know where. I tried to let it go and did in a way.

– I gathered some strength to go out and meet some friends and everyone had asked me where I had been since I had been very withdrawn lately. I told them I was feeling very depressed mostly about work and life in general. Everyone was supportive but one friend. She told me that I had no right to be depressed since I have a well paying job and I’m not homeless. Luckly, I didn’t tell her about my gambling problem. She told me that I have always been a little depressed, ever since she’s known me and that I always bother her with my same old issues. I didn’t see it that way, because I hide my issues and don’t talk about them. I felt she was very harsh. When I tried to object, I was asked by her what kind of a friendship is ours if she’s not allowed to speak her mind. I had no fight in me, so I just left it at that. I’ve decided to keep away from her until I start feeling better.

My depression is worrying me even more than my gambling. I’m so sick of living the same cycle over and over again. I feel like for the first time in my life, I’m loosing control and letting things slip. It’s like I have no fight in me left. I so desperately want my problems to go away.

[Callmecrazy]

I gambled today because I was feeling extremely depressed. Now I’m 250 euro down and even more depressed.
Lately I have been feeling depressed about life in general and feel I’m loosing my life energy.

[Callmecrazy]

I’m a compulsive gambler and I need to set my life as such. I’m aware of this and I have already taken great measures to do so.

– I accept who I am and will try not to beat myself up about it. There are people with all sorts of faults. Some are drug users, some are alcoholics, some compulsive spenders, some are so rigid with their money they are stingy to everyone around them and can never be happy with their bankroll. Some are bullies, cheaters, serial crime offenders etc… They all have havoc in their lives, just like me.

– I accept that I can never be rich and have tons of money on my account. Comfortable and modest is the living I’m looking for. Because of this I have opened a retirement savings account where I save (for now) small amounts that I’m unable to touch in any way until I retire 25 yrs from now. I have also declined my father transferring an apartment to my name which I’m due to inherit when he one day passes on.

– I accept that I have to pay back my debts if I want to live comfortably and I’m meticulous about paying my monthly installments which is a very good strong point I have.

– I need to remind myself often that doing this through gambling will not work. This is something I struggle with.

– I have 26 more monthly installments to pay until I clear my big gambling debt. I have never been so close. This is my BIG short term goal.

– I need to set and check my barriers regularly. Self-exclude, install software, scratch off CVC numbers from credit cards

. – I need to relax, exercise, addict my self to tv shows I like and NEVER EVER compare myself to other people. It’s only a picture I have of them and not their true selves or lives.

[Callmecrazy]

Try to relax. Try to get some sleep. In 2 days you won’t be feeling half as bad. Even though it may not be clear to you now, there is always a way out that doesn’t include hurting yourself.

[Callmecrazy]

Now, stop!! I lost it all after being almost 2 yrs gamble free. I can tell you despite my compulsive gambling I’m still less in debt than my friend who is a compulsive spender and has never gambled a minute in her life. She’s also still in denial.

Today’s world is full of temptations for everybody. It’s hard to live the commercial life we are being served by media all the time. People have skeletons in their closets, don’t think it’s harder for you than anyone else out there.

You’re not in denial, so you are still one step ahead than many out there.

God has always left a window open for us if we decide to stop the auto destructive behavior. For instance, we come as compulsive in our gambling, often spending hundreds or thousands in minutes, while at the same time he has made us very rigid in our spending habits. We think twice about spending 5$ on a meal, a shirt, a concert or whatever. Once the gambling stops, the rigid spending habits remain and this makes us able to pay off debt, live and bounce back. It’s only one of our windows. 

[Callmecrazy]

I would like to download a blocker or K9 but I would still like access to this site.

The ones I tried block me from here as well.

[Callmecrazy]

Kin, you’re right. This addiction is exactly like a tiger in hiding. I have no idea how it caught me. I don’t remember having gambling urges I had to fight. One day I just came home, took my phone and started spinning. My spin was a win, that’s how I got caught! Had I not won, maybe I would have thought twice about what I was doing. All winnings are only an illusion. We don’t ever win. I went through all my winnings, plus my small savings, plus racked up credit card debt.

Velvet, we have an anti bullying policy but it’s worth only the paper it’s written on. In reality, if you complain, you become the troublemaker and someone to get rid of. The bullying certainly contributed to my gambling. I felt the escape. I have since settled the score between my bully and I. First, I asked through a connection I had, to be relocated to another position within my company. Second, I wrote the bully a polite expertise opinion about the project he was micromanaging me to do and why it was causing financial hurt to the company and the managers above him. He was mad as hell because of me writing this but he couldn’t ignore it. I was only looking out for the company’s best interest.  Since then he has been polite and has left me alone. Today I got news that I will be relocated by May, probably to a lower position, which means less pay but I’d rather accept that than handle a bully and be responsible for projects that are shaddy, faulty and biased. It’s a major setback in my career which doesn’t make me happy.

Today, I went to a bank to ask for a loan. I have always despised this part of my gambling but it needs to be done as I have 2500 euro gambling debt due to my credit card by the end of this month. Asking for loans makes me so ashamed and frightened my secret would come out, I have kept my credit score perfect through out all my compulsive gambling life! I have never been a day late on paying any debt.  You’d never think there is a compulsive gambler hiding behind such perfection.  But that’s exactly what we are capable of!  Anything to hide THE SECRET and the shame. I could have any loan I want. Lucky for me, for some reason, being found out by the bank is my worst nightmare, so I refused all offers but the essential I needed to cover my bills. On the ride home, I contemplated loaning more or trying a few spins before I use it to pay off my credit card debt which shows the monster is VERY MUCH ALIVE inside me right now.

[Callmecrazy]

I’m not sure if this may help, but if any of us here had won 400.000 $ in a casino we would have gambled it all back and probably gone crazy along the way. So in a way you’re not alone. Figures are only figures, the money was never ours in the first place. There is nothing more rewarding than an honest wage for an honest’s day work. I’ve come to realize that living comfortable, yet modest is the only way a person can truly live happily. Everything else brings greed, obsession and the urge to want more. If you were to get back your 400.000 $ tomorrow, I guarantee you wouldn’t stop there. You would become further obsessed wanting more. So, I say, ***** your blessings, let it go and start living a happy life. All of us here have the opportunity to do so.

[Author]

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