You’re right. I have done well in my paper trading so far in just three days. And they are pretty conservative trades too. The market is offering immense opportunities this week.
I felt that feeling you described: If only this was real money, I could have made 8% of my loss back in just 3 days. I felt the urges and I let them go immediately. Practicing mindfulness and being aware of what’s going on helps a lot.
I’m not ready to give up on investing completely. It’s been a part of my life since I was 11. I never had any issues until I turned 33. I can’t imagine a life without the markets, despite the pain they have put me through. I will try to make it work, without placing real money at risk, and if I can make it through a couple of years without a problem, I’ll try again gently. In the meantime I will build bring back positive habits, such as exercising daily, and being patient. To me, this is the ultimate challenge, and I can’t go through life wondering “what if I’d tried to overcome this carefully and patiently.”
I know it sounds like I won’t let go. I can let go of the loss over time. But I will never let go of investing and the markets. I can’t imagine a life without them. It would be akin to becoming a monk and living in a monastery for all time. Maybe I just need time to distance myself from the loss and gain perspective.
It’s not easy.