Hi Tommy,
I am also pretty new here, today is my 8th day I am on this online forum. I have bee gambling for many years, and the issues you described I can understand it as it happens to me. I emptied all my accounts and played to the maximum so I can win all the lost money back. It reoccur all the time and I lost control. As in my first post, I have been talking about the importance of my family and every time I see them, I say to myself that I had to stop for them but always lose control. However, someone made a good comment on my post: forgive myself for my mistakes and be selfish: stop for yourself and it will have consequences for your family. I tried to kept that in my mind, and during the past weekend I really had a blast time with my family. I am still scared to be back with gambling yes, but I am working with way of thinking in my mind. So, I truly wish you the same thing. Forgive yourself first as Ryan wrote above, and keep talking within this community. I am not an expert yet as giving good advices or informations on how to cope with it, but I hope this text shows you I share your emotions and we can go through to this difficult times together. Yes, it takes time; day by day but am convinced we can do it together. Ot nicknames contains ‘quit’, so we know want to quit.
All the best,