Hi
I feel sorry for your loss. You lost a large amount of money.
It won’t help to gamble again…As you say yourself: ” don’t know why I can’t think straight when it comes to gambling.”.
With your great work ethics you can get up again financially.
Are you ready to stop? If you are ready I think you need to set up more hindrances/blockers.
You may want to consider attending some kind of therapy to learn more about why you play and just to say everything out loud…I don’t have the balls to do that myself but it’s a good idea!
You are still quite young and you have shown the ability to save a lot of money. I think you can overcome the financial déroute and get a bright future….if you get rid of this addiction.
Most gamblers get one or more relapses before they manage to stop completely. Don’t be too hard on yourself. But you need to take action to avoid going back once again!