You have a problem with gambling. It is an addiction, a behavioural problem but that does not make you a failure. You DO need to talk to someone. I know you feel embarrassed to do this, but I don’t know anyone who has beaten this addiction on their own.
In the first place call a suicide prevention line if you are having thoughts about that again. It will probably be the Samaritans or Befrienders. Second – if you are in school, they will probably have a counselling service that you can access – possibly on an emergency basis. Do not just walk away from your education – talk to someone there, that is what they are there for, to deal with the struggles that some people have whilst they are learning. Third – you need to come clean with your parents – they will be worried about you, especially if you leave school with no means of support.
Also see if there is a support group in your area – such as Gambler’s Anonymous – there is a link on this site to the international website. They will advise on blocking yourself from gambling sites from the country you are in.
You didn’t gamble when you were in the US, so you know you can stop. All you need to learn is how to stay stopped.
Try and get a change from pasta – I know when I was gambling I was only eating baked beans – but I think that is more a British thing! I wish you well.