You are not pathetic, just caught in the trap that is gambling
Draw a line now. It will only get worse and that 8k can’t be easily won now. Let go please Murr. Remember I’ve been there. 14k in one night actually add the 4600 of ‘winnings’ then thats almost 19k pound sterling
it it will not get better, it will only get worse
thE chasing will only cause more damage