You are in the right area – if you are committed to stopping gambling for good. I’m not sure I am getting that from your post.
Your post sounded like me when I was in action – confused, trying to justify carrying on with gambling in the “if I could just stop when I am winning” sort of mode.
The truth is that when I was gambling – I could NOT stop. That was what made me a compulsive gambler. Ok, I might be able to stop for a day or two or occasionally even longer. What I could not do was obsessing about gambling, should I go back to it ? How much can I afford to bet? Where will the money come from? What can I do differently but still bet? Until I got the message – JUST STOP!
So if you really want to stop gambling – read some of the other threads here – you will see that there are 4 things you need to do: 1) ban or bar yourself from all the places where you gamble and where you could be tempted to gamble in the future. 2) Remove yourself from access to money. If possible get a trusted loved one or friend to handle your money, but if not just carry the bare minimum to survive. 3) Restrict the time you have to gamble – work longer hours (helps to pay off debts) go to recovery meetings and/or find another use of time (Netflix seems to be popular!) 4) Get great support for yourself – let loved ones know and ask them to help you; find out about self-help in your area Gamblers’ Anonymous or similar and go to meetings, see if you can get counselling through your medic or some other means. Log into a support group here – new members are welcome all the time but there are specific groups for you on Mondays and Thursdays (GMT.) I hope this helps.