I have just read through my post, how on earth I managed to not gamble is beyond me, today I feel like I over-reacted, but as you know me so well janey, thats just me going into my own head space.. I always have been and I always been my own worst critic, which to others seems like ” i think to much”, but I feel that this side of me is the side that keeps me from becoming complacent and if I dare be as bold to say, ignorant as most of society seem to be today. I haven’t told adam about yesterday, I spoke to his mum and my sisters, which to be honest, maybe should of just rang my best friend as my problem and situation once again made me feel I was adding to others problems, the sighs, the look of sadness and do you know what I felt no better for sharing, but reading your posts today, yes brought tears to my eyes (which is something I don’t do alot of now”, you are both so right in everything you say. M, I love your posts you are so admirable, you have come so far with all the barriers in your way, but although you may never be recovered from gambling you will be happy one day. That I would put money on (not really).
Jayne; You, Ruth and Liz are my saviours, the admiration and respect I have for the role you take, women and gambling..jeez!! thats a tough one!! I know from first hand experience. You all were so positive, so in tune and you know, never were any off you speaking for the sake of it. I owe you my life as I know without you all, I wouldn’t be were I am today, you all taught me to manage this, devil..and trying not to sound flippant, the coping skills were just common sense, no hypnotism, no guarantees for me it came at the right time. Thank you will never come close, but at this moment, it is all we have, so thank you to you all from the bottom of our hearts.. love from me and bella xxx
