Yes Lizbeth ,
I am never too specific about things in my real life except in groups .
That was what caused the difficulties I had before.
Things I had said in group were rehashed on here .
I found it an absolute breach of confidentiality and was absolutely devasted by it . It wasn’t even truth – but another’s perception of what was true in my life – and they seemed unable to le t it go.
I also felt my anonymity was under threat.
I learned the hardest way to share even less.
I still worry about those people exposing me –
But I try to remember that whatever transpired between us they are essentially good people. I do sometimes wake up panicked about it and often dream about it – I feel less safe in life as a result but my fear is lessening as time passes. I still have to check my phone in the middle of the night if I wake up to make sure there is nothing in my emails or posted on here to expose me. It’s not nice .
Some people have picked up on parts of threads and parts of Issues (in my panic I deleted most )and made up their own minds – but I think people who followed the complete events were horrified that one of us could be “outed” by someone we have grown to trust .
It is what it is -I have had the worse 18 months – huge child worries – I would have liked to share and get support but I couldn’t . The events on here added to my distress . Trusting people too much on an online site could completely destroy your life and that of your family . Don’t do it !
I think we all need to remember that everyone goes through bad times – and even if they are writing about gambling or not gambling we have no way of knowing how they are feeling in life or what they are going through .
I felt kicked and battered on here at a time I was holding on by a string . The awful thing is I had shared this with these people in group .
I feel a lot better now – I think things are improving – I hope they are .
I don’t have to tell you Lizbeth that parenting is the hardest job in the world and when things go wrong it rips you to your very core .
I think I’m a good parent – I can let go – I don’t feel the need to control but mostly my kid can come to me when he needs support – my kid says I’m his best friend — of course kids have no idea what it costs us as parents – they don’t understand that while they sleep we get up several times to check that they haven’t done anything silly and the relief to see the red colour in their cheeks and their chests rising and falling .
Life is sometimes too hard as a parent – u try to keep your own stuff together- ur job which is essential, your home which is essential , your finances which are essential and you panic all the time that you are not there to stop anything horrible happening – and feel guilty that u never do enough.
So I’m not sure why I am writing all this but it kind feels better out than in .