‘Lord and saviour’ – that has made me laugh so much.
Nothing wrong with a little OCD. I wish one of us had a touch more of that as then we would have a lovely shiny clean bathroom etc.
Exterior order is even more important when there is all this inner chaos and I can imagine that you are driven to get things under more control when stressed by the uncontrollable.
Everybody has faults but I divide them into acceptable normal ones and the deal breakers. The scales do not balance between the two.
Gambling is an addiction from which only the gambler benefits in terms of a buzz and a thrill and yet everybody suffers the negative consequences.
Yes, I was glad in some ways about the ‘floozy’ as that came out in the open in a rather disastrous way for my CG. He was suddenly exposed in a way that worked to my advantage. To be honest I may still have been stuck if that had not happened.
It gave me the high moral ground which I shouldn’t have needed but I was brought up as a Catholic for gods sake (until I discovered pre-marital sex) and something of that lingers however much I try to shake it off.
It’s ok to be honest here and admit our darker thoughts and yes I had almost hoped for this solution to set me free. That is when I was not hoping for other disasters to befall him. OK Ok I know It sounds bad but I also know I will not be the only person to have let my mind wonder over these potential solutions even though it’s somewhat shameful to admit to. I wanted it to be quick and painless!!!
I nearly deleted the above. I am of course glad that he is alive but that just shows you how trapped and desperate we sometimes feel.
I was a very trusting person when I got married. Sadly I am now Sherlock Holmes and would stop at nothing if I needed to get at the truth. I have searched pockets, phones, rummaged through card, opened post not addressed to me, followed him, spied etc etc. I do not like myself for it and wonder if I would ever be able to return to the trusting person I was. That is a sad thought that I may be changed forever for the worse.
Everybody’s situation is so unique and I recognise that the floozy really helped me on my way.
It didn’t work out if course but he remains addicted to her.
I got the divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour which was gambling. I didn’t include the many other issues. That is between us. I just gave enough information to get technically past the threshold required. Although I am fairly open here, I didn’t want to go public with all my dirty linen and even went to a court out of this area.
Glad to be of comfort. Yes comfort, that is what I find here too.
Well like you I too have a load of domestic stuff to do (sadly not to your impeccable standards…..I have mental OCD but it never quite translates into the physical as I am quite lazy really). Have been on holiday so things have slid in my absence. Am away with work tonight so better get cracking.
Speak again hopefully. You have made me smile.
J
