Good post Johnny.
When I was in the throes of gambling I always justified my actions by saying “Why not?”
When I ask “why” rationally, I can find many answers, ranging from “I have no idea” to “Well, because I’m a Compulsive Gambler”.
I have many thoughts on why I gambled. I think there is a “control” element there, a “self-destructive”aspect. A sense of “risk”. A feeling of “escape”. A need to “win” (sic!)When I succumbed to “urges” it usually meant my need to gamble was greater than my desire to be free of gambling’s grip.
Greed played a huge part, too.
I lost years trying to figure out why I gambled again and again, despite the torture, the loss, the stress.
What I have learned ( too late, in some ways) is that the “why” doesn’t matter anymore.
As Laura says, we cannot gamble because sooner or later, we will always “get caught”.
For me I really don’t think I have another recovery in me.
The pain of gambling has become greater than the pain gambling seemed to relieve.
