first thanks Bettie for your support and helpful words.:)
What I hate about gambling??? EVERYTHING!!!!
The other night I fell off to sleep and woke up tossing and turning. Then thoughts starting running through my brain about the effect of this addiction is and has had on me over the past 15 years.
I decided to try to put these thoughts and feelings into words that I or anyone else, the slightest bit interested can reflect on.
What has gambling taken from me??? I will list as many take aways as I can
1- Lots of my time
2-lots of my money
3-my control of my life
4-my true self
5-my ability to make good judgements
the things it has caused me to do
1- to lie or deny (only in regards to amounts spent or times went)
2-to be sneaky (to facilate gamblng)
3-to overspend ( to overlook the value of money)
4-to risk my safety ( driving home with very little sleep)
5-to risk relationships( taking advantage of loved ones ignorance to the addiction)
6- To be weak ( giving in to urges)
What I have come to realize
1- first and foremost I need to quit gambling
2- This is something I can no longer control alone.
3-A want to be done with this.
4-Its ok to ask for help
5-The necessity to quit
What will I do next?
1- get help and stop depending on me, myself and I
2-make arrangements to do hypnosis.
3-go for counselling
4-call on my supportive husband
5- just do what I can but do it well
6- don’t stress over dept repayment
So these are some of my thoughts and beliefs, and I am in this fight for all the right reasons I believe. I no 100% that I am addicted to gambling but I don’t have to ever go again.I know that without gambling I am a very happy and complete person. Its gambling that distorts who I am and I no longer want to let it change me. I want to be my best self from here on in. I think I have come to see that nothing good ever comes from gambling.
I have this saying I’ve said for years, it goes like this ” The Lord gave me big work hands and big feet because he knew I would need them to work hard my whole life.” My life has been good through my hard work and I should be satisfied with it. Chasing dreams and false hopes have only ever left me disappointed. So my revelation is no easy peasy way for me, just hard work will be right for me. I am always fulfilled when I’m working and doing this or that is the best way.
I am done with this for now and forever I hope. FG
