Well it’s been a difficult 48hrs for me but thankfully I haven’t turned to the bookies for solace. The problems I’m facing however would not be so difficult if I hadn’t been gambling like a maniac for the last couple of years.
I’m feeling pretty shellshocked in the cold light if day and I’m beating myself up to a pulp about what a mess I’ve got myself in to. This is a very difficult stage for me and I feel very vulnerable to a relapse.
I’m hoping that recording the way I feel now- the regret, the shame- will at least enable me to look back if I ever consider gambling again. I feel like the worlds biggest fool at the momement and it’s not going to be easy to get through it.
I know it could be a lot worse and reading some of the other members posts have given me some perspective.
I’m going to take a walk in the rain and listen to this damn Allan Carr book ! I might need the smoking one too if things don’t improve.
Best wishes,
Simon.