Well, I had a nice lunch and a long walk with my Mother. She is never going to admit that she is a cg. In fact, my cousin is supposed to be coming here for a few days from the city, the one who was here last month. My Mom says they are going to the casino when she is here visiting. She has to be getting money off of her credit cards. Wow, I remember how I maxed out many credit cards and what a terrible mess I put myself and Husband in. My Mom is not going to admit that she is a cg. It took me a long time to admit that. But every time I have on something new or a new pair of shoes she comments on how I spend my money. I’d rather be able to buy myself something than to blow the money at the casino. She has been going on about my Sister since her last visit, last month. I am not ready to try to reconcile with her yet. I know that I will be the one to reach out as she never will. It will be 1 year in a few days since we have talked. I forgive her for the mean things she said and the disrespect that she showed after my Husband died but I won’t forget. Our relationship hadn’t been good for a long time. I hope one day to reach out to her and start a new relationship as life is too short!!! Hospice sent me a beautiful card today recognizing the almost 1 year mark of my Husband’s death. It was comforting. Sometimes, I feel like I am alone when I am at my new house as my Mom and my relationship is so superficial. I am overly tired today so maybe that is why I am feeling a little down. I am going to stay home tomorrow and clean and do laundry and putter around the house. Maybe I will go for a walk.
