Well done on your gamble free time Dancahser.
mercedes, well done on making your first posts here. As you can see you are not alone. I’m sure you are reading a lot of things you can relate to on the other threads her as well as this one.
Can I suggest you start your own thread as well though? Just click on the My Journal Forum. If you scroll then down the list of existing threads, at the bottom and to the left of the page click on “New Topic”.
Welcome to the forum and I look forward to seeing your progress in recovery.