I want to start by saying that I understand fully what you are going through and wish you all the best.
As usual, I find your posts very relatable and they have helped me in my own situation.
It’s very difficult to break the pattern of behaviour, even tho we all know it leads to negativity and heartbreak.
I have given up gambling and started again and given up and started again etc etc repeat to fade.
I’m now at a stage where I haven’t gambled since 01/09/16, might not seem a lot to some people, but I feel I’m making progress.
Your conversation about not liking the person you become when you are gambling also makes sense to me. I’ve found myself in the same position.
All of this is easier said than done, but my life is so much better when I’m not gambling.
Stay strong and all the best.
Cheers,
Steve