Vera great post as always, thank you for your ongoing support, Charles you are a very good man and I am so very happy to know you my friend.
Having a nightmare with my lad being bullied at school, still going on and has escalated into out of school now…..fuming with it as wrote a letter to the head teacher over 6 months ago and all she managed to do was make me feel like shit as if I was making a big deal out of it, I am amazed and totaly disapointed in the way the teachers and school have failed my boy, for the last 4 weeks myself and my wife have taken it in turns to sleep with him in his bed as he is so frightened to go to sleep.
This bully thretened my boy when he was with his granddad the other day and I have now just snapped and hit my breaking point with it all, tonight I have tracked down were he lives and tomorrow will be going around to sort it out once and for all, it is distroying my boy, my wife broke down the other day on me with the stress and worry (never seen her that bad before and not even down to my gambling, managed to hug, love and console her) it is just a right mess, but in truth I can sort it all out and tomorrow I will.
What I say now and what I honestly believe is this……..I was bullied very badly as a child and at 14 years old thought long and hard about taking my own life……I felt I couldnt tell my parents (my fault not theres) and I drill it into my kids to tell me all and I even open up whole heart to them…….saying there is nothing I cant sort out for them.
This situation is killing me in many ways and I wont lie when I am passionate about something I can just snap……..I can see what is going to happen in advance and need to control my emotion with dealing with this nasty situation, I love my wife and children, I hate to see them so unhappy and like any good farther/husband they would do anything to look after them.
Life is so very hard at times, its not often but at times some people wind me up…..teachers speaking to parents like children………I am very tolerant but in the end something has to give and in truth everyone has there breaking point, with this situation I have come to mine.
Just for today I didnt gamble, 5 days gamble free and tomorrow after sorting my poor boys situation I need to sort the loan sharks………….many many years ago I was a good honest boy……that night I thought of taking my life ai said to myself “I have two choices………take your life as I cannot live this way anymore….or toughen up and look after yourself……..I went down the toughen up route but found very many bad things along the way (gambling being one of them), all I can say is what I speak is the honest truth and wouldnt wish the situation on anyone.
I cant complain……..I am still breathing………….I should be grateful for that……….
Maverick